The Garotters | Page 8

portiere.
BELLA THE MAID: 'Oh, my goodness! Mrs. Roberts, it's Mr. Bemis!'
MRS. ROBERTS: 'Which Mr. Bemis?'
ROBERTS: 'What's the matter with him?'
MRS. CRASHAW: 'Why doesn't she show him in?'
WILLIS: 'Has HE been garotting somebody too?'

SCENE IV: MR. BEMIS, MR. CAMPBELL, MR. AND MRS.

ROBERTS

BEMIS, appearing through the portiere: 'I--I beg your pardon, Mrs.
Roberts. I oughtn't to present myself in this state--I-- But I thought I'd
better stop on my way home and report, so that my son needn't be
alarmed at my absence when he comes. I--' He stops, exhausted, and
regards the others with a wild stare, while they stand taking note of his
disordered coat, his torn vest, and his tumbled hat. 'I've just been
robbed--'
MRS. ROBERTS: 'Robbed? Why, EDWARD has been robbed too.'
BEMIS: '--coming through the Common--'
MRS. ROBERTS: 'Yes, EDWARD was coming through the Common.'
BEMIS: '--of my watch--'
MRS. ROBERTS, in rapturous admiration of the coincidence: 'Oh, and
it was Edward's WATCH they took!'
WILLIS: 'It's a parallel case, Agnes. Pour him out a glass of cologne to
drink, and rub his head with brandy. And you might let him sit down
and rest while you're enjoying the excitement.'
MRS. ROBERTS, in hospitable remorse: 'Oh, what am I thinking of!
Here, Edward--or no, you're too weak, you mustn't. Willis, YOU help
me to help him to the sofa.'
MRS. CRASHAW: 'I think you'd better help him off with his overcoat
and his arctics.' To the maid: 'Here, Bella, if you haven't quite taken
leave of your wits, undo his shoes.'
ROBERTS: 'I'LL help him off with his coat--'
BEMIS: 'Careful! careful! I may be injured internally.'
MRS. ROBERTS: 'Oh, if you only WERE, Mr. Bemis, perhaps I could
persuade Edward that he was too: I KNOW he is. Edward, don't exert
yourself! Aunt Mary, will you STOP him, or do you all wish to see me
go distracted here before your eyes?'
WILLIS, examining the overcoat which Roberts has removed: 'Well,
you won't have much trouble buttoning and unbuttoning this coat for
the present.'
BEMIS: 'They tore it open, and tore my watch from my vest pocket--'
WILLIS, looking at the vest: 'I see. Pretty lively work. Were there
many of them?'
BEMIS: 'There must have been two at least--'

MRS. ROBERTS: 'There were half a dozen in the gang that attacked
Edward.'
BEMIS: 'One of them pulled me violently over on my back--'
MRS. ROBERTS: 'Edward's put HIS arm round his neck and choked
him.'
MRS. CRASHAW: 'Agnes!'
MRS. ROBERTS: 'I KNOW he did, Aunt Mary.'
BEMIS: 'And the other tore my watch out of my pocket.'
MRS. ROBERTS: 'EDWARD'S--'
MRS. CRASHAW: 'Agnes, I'm thoroughly ashamed of you. WILL you
stop interrupting?'
BEMIS: 'And left me lying in the snow.'
MRS. ROBERTS: 'And then he ran after them, and snatched his watch
away again in spite of them all; and he didn't call for the police, or
anything, because it was their first offence, and he couldn't bear to
think of their suffering families.'
BEMIS, with a stare of profound astonishment: 'Who?'
MRS. ROBERTS: 'Edward. Didn't I SAY Edward, all the time?'
BEMIS: 'I thought you meant me. I didn't think of pursuing them; but
you may be very sure that if there had been a policeman within call--of
course there wasn't one within cannon-shot--I should have handed the
scoundrels over without the slightest remorse.'
ROBERTS: 'Oh!' He sinks into a chair with a slight groan.
WILLIS: 'What is it?'
ROBERTS: ''Sh! Don't say anything. But--stay here. I want to speak
with you, Willis.'
BEMIS, with mounting wrath: 'I should not have hesitated an instant to
give the rascal in charge, no matter who was dependent upon him-- no
matter if he were my dearest friend, my own brother.'
ROBERTS, under his breath: 'Gracious powers!'
BEMIS: 'And while I am very sorry to disagree with Mr. Roberts, I
can't help feeling that he made a great mistake in allowing the ruffians
to escape.'
MRS. CRASHAW, with severity: 'I think you are quite right, Mr.
Bemis.'
BEMIS: 'Probably it was the same gang attacked us both. After
escaping from Mr. Roberts they fell upon me.'

MRS. CRASHAW: 'I haven't a doubt of it.'
ROBERTS, sotto voce to his brother-in-law: 'I think I'll ask you to go
with me to my room, Willis. Don't alarm Agnes, please. I--I feel quite
faint.'
MRS. ROBERTS, crestfallen: 'I can't feel that Edward was to blame.
Ed--Oh, I suppose he's gone off to make himself presentable. But
Willis--Where's Willis, Aunt Mary?'
MRS. CRASHAW: 'Probably gone with him to help him.'
MRS. ROBERTS: 'Oh, he SAW how unstrung poor Edward was! Mr.
Bemis, I think you're quite prejudiced. How could Edward help their
escaping? I think it was quite enough for him, single-handed, to