The Fun of Getting Thin

The Fun of Getting Thin

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Title: The Fun of Getting Thin
Author: Samuel G. Blythe
Release Date: January 20, 2005 [eBook #14743]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FUN OF GETTING
THIN***
E-text prepared by Al Haines

THE FUN OF GETTING THIN
How To Be Happy and Reduce the Waist Line
by
SAMUEL G. BLYTHE
Author of "Cutting It Out"
Chicago Forbes & Company
1912

CONTENTS





CHAPTER
I. Fat

II. The So-Called Cures
III. Facing the Tissue

THE FUN OF GETTING THIN





CHAPTER I
FAT
A fat man is a joke; and a fat woman is two jokes--one on herself and the other on her
husband. Half the comedy in the world is predicated on the paunch. At that, the human
race is divided into but two classes--fat people who are trying to get thin and thin people
who are trying to get fat.
Fat, the doctors say, is fatal. I move to amend by striking out the last two letters of the
indictment. Fat is fat. It isn't any more fatal to be reasonably fat than to be reasonably thin,
but it's a darned sight more uncomfortable. So far as being unreasonably thin or
unreasonably fat is concerned, I suppose the thin person has the long end of it. I never
was thin, so I don't know. However, I have been fat--notice that "have been"? And if
there is any phase of human enjoyment, any part of life, any occupation, avocation,
divertisement, pleasure or pain where the fat man has the better of it in any regard, I
failed to discover it in the twenty years during which I looked like the rear end of a hack
and had all the bodily characteristics of a bale of hay.
When you come to examine into the actuating motives for any line of human endeavor
you will find that vanity figures about ninety per cent, directly or indirectly, in the assay.
The personal equation is the ruling equation. Women want to be thinner because they will
look better--and so do men. Likewise, women want to be plumper because they will look
better--and so do men. This holds up to forty years. After that it doesn't make much
difference whether either men or women look any better than they have been looking, so
far as the great end and aim of all life is concerned. Consequently fat men and fat women
after forty want to be thinner for reasons of health and comfort, or quit and resign
themselves to their further years of obesity.
Now I am over forty. Hence my experiments in reduction may be taken at this time as
grounded on a desire for comfort--not that I did not make many campaigns against my fat
before I was forty. I fought it now and then, but always retreated before I won a victory.
This time, instead of skirmishing valiantly for a space and then being ignominiously and
fatly routed by the powerful forces of food and drink, I hung stolidly to the line of my
original attack, harassed the enemy by a constant and deadly fire--and one morning
discovered I had the foe on the run.

It always makes me laugh to hear people talk about losing flesh--unless, of course, the
decrease in weight is due to illness. No healthy person, predisposed to fat, ever lost any
flesh. If that person gets rid of any weight, or girth, or fat, it isn't lost--it is fought off,
beaten off. The victim struggles with it, goes to the mat with it, and does not debonairly
drop it. He eliminates it with stern effort and much travail of the spirit. It is a job of work,
a grueling combat to the finish, a task that appalls and usually repels.
The theory of taking off fat is the simplest theory in the world. It is announced, in four
words: Stop eating and drinking. The practice of fat reduction is the most difficult thing
in the world. Its difficulties are comprehended in two words: You cannot. The flesh is
willing, but the spirit is weak. The success of the undertaking lies in the triumph of the
will over the appetite. There's a lovely line of cant for you! Triumph of the will over the
appetite. It sounds like the preaching of a professional food faddist, who tells