The Frogs | Page 8

that
blear-eyed Archedemus.
XAN. That oath contents me: on those terms I take them.
CHOR. Now that at last you appear once more, Wearing the garb that
at first you wore, Wielding the club and the tawny skin, Now it is yours
to be up and doing, Glaring like mad, and your youth renewing,
Mindful of him whose guise you are in. If, when caught in a bit of a
scrape, you Suffer a word of alarm to escape you, Showing yourself but
a feckless knave, Then will your master at once undrape you, Then
you'll again be the toiling slave.
XAN. There, I admit, you have given to me a Capital hint, and the like
idea, Friends, had occurred to myself before. Truly if anything good
befell He would be wanting, I know full well, Wanting to take to the
togs once more. Nevertheless, while in these I'm vested, Ne'er shall you
find me craven-crested, No, for a dittany look I'll wear, Aye and
methinks it will soon be tested, Hark! how the portals are rustling there.
AEAC. Seize the dog-stealer, bind him, pinion him, Drag him to
justice!
DIO. Somebody's going to catch it.
XAN. (Striking out.) Hands off! get away! stand back!
ABAC. Eh? You're for fighting. Ho! Ditylas, Sceblyas, and Pardocas,
Come hither, quick; fight me this sturdy knave.
DIO. Now isn't it a shame the man should strike And he a thief

besides?
AEAC. A monstrous shame!
DIO. A regular burning shame!
XAN. By the Lord Zeus, If ever I was here before, if ever I stole one
hair's-worth from you, let me die! And now I'll make you a right noble
offer, Arrest my lad: torture him as you will, And if you find I'm guilty,
take and kill me.
AEAC. Torture him, how?
XAN. In any mode you please. Pile bricks upon him: stuff his nose
with acid: Flay, rack him, hoist him; flog him with a scourge Of prickly
bristles: only not with this, A soft-leaved onion, or a tender leek.
AEAC. A fair proposal. If I strike too hard And maim the boy, I'll make
you compensation.
XAN. I shan't require it. Take him out and flog him.
ABAC. Nay, but I'll do it here before your eyes. Now then, put down
the traps, and mind you speak The truth, young fellow.
DIO. (In agony.) Man! don't torture ME! I am a god. You'll blame
yourself hereafter If you touch ME.
AEAC. Hillo! What's that you are saying?
DIO. I say I'm Bacchus, son of Zeus, a god, Anid he's the slave.
AEAC. You hear him?
XAN. Hear him? Yes. All the more reason you should flog him well.
For if he is a god, he won't perceive it.
DIO. Well, but you say that you're a god yourself. So why not you be
flogged as well as I?

XAN. A fair proposal. And be this the test, Whichever of us two you
first behold Flinching or crying out--he's not the god.
AEAC. Upon my word you're quite the gentleman, You're all for right
and justice. Strip then, both.
XAN. How can you test us fairly?
AEAC. Easily, I'll give you blow for blow.
XAN. A good idea. We're ready! Now! (Aeacus strikes him), see if you
catch me flinching.
AEAC. I struck you.
XAN. (Incredulously.) No!
ABAC Well, it seems "no," indeed. Now then I'll strike the other
(Strikes DIO.).
DIO. Tell me when?
AEAC. I struck you.
DIO. Struck me? Then why didn't I sneeze?
AEAC. Don't know, I'm sure. I'll try the other again.
XAN. And quickly too. Good gracious!
AEAC. Why "good gracious"? Not hurt you, did I?
XAN. No, I merely thought of The Diomeian feast of Heracles.
AEAC. A holy man! 'Tis now the other's turn.
DIO. Hi! Hi!
AEAC. Hallo!

DIO. Look at those horsemen, look!
AEAC. But why these tears?
DIO. There's such a smell of onions.
AEAC. Then you don't mind it?
DIO. (Cheerfully.) Mind it? Not a bit.
AEAC. Well, I must go to the other one again.
XAN. O! O!
AEAC. Hallo!
XAN. Do pray pull out this thorn.
AEAC. What does it mean? 'Tis this one's turn again.
DIO. (Shrieking.) Apollo! Lord! (Calmly) of Delos and of Pytho.
XAN. He flinched! You heard him?
DIO. Not at all; a jolly Verse of Hipponax flashed across my mind.
XAN. You don't half do it: cut his flanks to pieces.
AEAC. By Zeus, well thought on. Turn your belly here.
DIO. (Screaming.) Poseidon!
XAN. There! he's flinching.
DIO. (Singing) who dost reign Amongst the Aegean peaks and creeks
And o'er the deep blue main.
AEAC. No, by Demeter, still I can't find out Which is the god, but
come ye both indoors; My lord himself and Persephassa there, Being

gods themselves, will soon find out