The Frogs | Page 3

But never a word of me.
DIO. But tell me truly--'twas for this I came Dressed up to mimic
you--what friends received And entertained you when you went below
To bring back Cerberus, in case I need them. And tell me too the
havens, fountains, shops, Roads, resting-places, stews, refreshment
rooms, Towns, lodgings, hostesses, with whom were found The fewest
bugs.
XAN. But never a word of me.
HER. You are really game to go?
DIO. O drop that, can't you? And tell me this: of all the roads you know
Which is the quickest way to get to Hades? I want one not too warm,
nor yet too cold.
HER. Which shall I tell you first? which shall it be? There's one by
rope and bench: you launch away And--hang yourself.
DIO. No thank you: that's too stifling.
HER. Then there's a track, a short and beaten cut. By pestle and mortar.
DIO. Hemlock, do you mean?
HER. Just so.

DIO. No, that's too deathly cold a way; You have hardly started ere
your shins get numbed.
HER. Well, would you like a steep and swift descent?
DIO. Aye, that's the style: my walking powers are small.
HER. Go down to the Cerameicus.
DIO. And do what?
HER. Climb to the tower's top pinnacle--
DIO. And then?
HER. Observe the torch-race started, and when all The multitude is
shouting Let them go, Let yourself go.
DIO. Go whither?
HER. To the ground.
DIO. O that would break my brain's two envelopes. I'll not try that
HER. Which will you try?
DIO. The way you went yourself.
HER. A parlous voyage that, For first you'll come to an enormous lake
Of fathomless depth.
DIO. And how am I to cross?
HER. An ancient mariner will row you over In a wee boat, so big. The
fare's two obols.
DIO. Fie! The power two obols have, the whole world through! How
came they thither?

HER. Theseus took them down. And next you'll see great snakes and
savage monsters In tens of thousands.
DIO. You needn't try to scare me, I'm going to go.
HER. Then weltering seas of filth And ever-rippling dung: and plunged
therein, Whoso has wronged the stranger here on earth, Or robbed his
boylove of the promised pay, Or swinged his mother, or profanely
smitten His father's cheek, or sworn an oath forsworn, Or copied out a
speech of Morsimus.
DIO. There too, perdie, should he be plunged, whoe'er Has danced the
sword-dance of Cinesias.
HER. And next the breath of flutes will float around you, And glorious
sunshine, such as ours, you'll see, And myrtle groves, and happy bands
who clap Their hands in triumph, men and women too.
DIO. And who are they?
HER. The happy mystic bands.
XAN. And I'm the donkey in the mystery show. But I'll not stand it, not
one instant longer.
HER. Who'll tell you everything you want to know. You'll find them
dwelling close beside the road You are going to travel, just at Pluto's
gate. And fare thee well, my brother.
DIO. And to you Good cheer.
(To Xan.) Now sirrah, pick you up the traps.
XAN. Before I've put them down?
DIO. And quickly too.
XAN. No, prithee, no; but hire a body, one They're carrying out, on
purpose for the trip.

DIO. If I can't find one?
XAN. Then I'll take them.
DIO. Good. And see! they are carrying out a body now. Hallo! you
there, you deadman, are you willing To carry down our little traps to
Hades?
CORPSE. What are they?
DIO. These.
CORP. Two drachmas for the job?
DIO. Nay, that's too much.
CORP. Out of the pathway, you!
DIO. Beshrew thee, stop: may-be we'll strike a bargain.
CORP. Pay me two drachmas, or it's no use talking.
DIO. One and a half.
CORP. I'd liefer live again!
XAN. How absolute the knave is! He be hanged! I'll go myself.
DIO. You're the right sort, my man. Now to the ferry.
CHARON. Yoh, up! lay her to.
XAN. Whatever's that?
DIO. Why, that's the lake, by Zeus, Whereof he spake, and yon's the
ferry-boat.
XAN. Poseidon, yes, and that old fellow's Charon.

DIO. Charon! O welcome, Charon! welcome, Charon.
CHAR. Who's for the Rest from every pain and ill? Who's for the
Lethe's plain? the Donkey-shearings? Who's for Cerberia? Taenarum?
or the Ravens?
DIO. I.
CHAR. Hurry in.
DIO. But where are you going really? In truth to the Ravens?
CHAR. Aye, for your behoof. Step in.
DIO. (To Xan.) Now, lad.
CHAR. A slave? I take no slave, Unless he has fought for his
bodyrights at sea.
XAN. I couldn't go. I'd got the eye-disease.
CHAR. Then fetch a circuit round about the lake.
XAN. Where must I wait?
CHAR. Beside the Withering stone, Hard by the