The Foolish Lovers | Page 7

the greatest
possible respect for Matthew MacDermott himself ... a well-read and a
kindly man, though a wee bit, just a wee bit unbalanced mebbe!...
"Aye, but it's that wee bit that makes all the difference, Mr. Cairnduff!"
said the minister, interrupting the schoolmaster.
"It is," Mr. Cairnduff agreed. "You're right there, Mr. McCaughan. You
are, indeed. All the same, though, I would not like to be a party to
anything that would hurt the feelings of a MacDermott, and if it could
be arranged in some way that Matthew should retire from the
profession through ill-health or something, with a wee bit of a pension,
mebbe, to take the bad look off the thing... well, I for one would not be
against it!"
"You've taken the words out of my mouth," said the minister. "I had it
in my mind that if something of the kind could be arranged!..."
"It would be the best for all concerned," said Mr. Cairnduff.
But it had not been possible to arrange something of the kind. The
member for the Division was not willing to use his influence with the
National Board of Education in Uncle Matthew's behalf. He
remembered that Uncle Matthew, during an election, had interrupted
him in a recital of his services to the Queen, by a reminder that he was
only a militia man, and that rough, irreverent lads, who treated an
election as an opportunity for skylarking instead of improving their
minds, had followed him about his constituency, jeering at him for "a
mileeshy man." Uncle Matthew, too, had publicly declared that Parnell
was the greatest man that had ever lived in Ireland and was worth more
than the whole of the Ulster Unionist members of parliament put
together... which was, of course, very queer doctrine to come from a
member of an Ulster Unionist and Protestant family. The member for

the Division could not agree with Mr. McCaughan and Mr. Cairnduff
that the MacDermotts were a bulwark of the Constitution. Matthew
MacDermott's brother... the one who was dead... had been a queer sort
of a fellow. Lady Castlederry had complained of him more than once!...
No, he was sorry that, much as he should like to oblige Mr.
McCaughan and Mr. Cairnduff, he could not consent to use his
influence to get the Board to pension Matthew MacDermott....
"That man's a blether!" said the minister, as he and the schoolmaster
came away from the member's house. "He won't use his influence with
the Board because he hasn't got any. We'd have done better, mebbe, to
go to a Nationalist M.P. Those fellows have more power in their wee
fingers than our men have in their whole bodies. I wonder, now, could
we persuade Matthew to send in his resignation. I can't bear to think of
the Board dismissing him!"
Uncle William solved their problem for them. "Don't bother your heads
about him," he said when they informed him of their trouble. "I'll
provide for him right enough. He'll send in his resignation to you the
night, Mr. McCaughan. I'm sure, we're all queer and obliged to you for
the trouble you have taken in the matter."
"Ah, not at all, not at all," they said together.
"And I'll not forget it to either of you, you can depend on that. I daresay
Matthew'll be a help to me in the shop!..."
Thus it was that, unpensioned and in the shadow of disgrace, Uncle
Matthew left the service of the National Board of Education.
John admitted to himself, though he would hardly have admitted it to
anyone else, that his Uncle Matthew's behaviour had been very unusual.
He could not, when invited to do so, imagine either Mr. McCaughan or
Mr. Cairnduff breaking the windows of a haberdasher's shop because of
an advertisement which showed, in the opinion of some reputable
people, both feeling and enterprise. Nevertheless, he did not consider
that Uncle Matthew, on that occasion, had proved himself to be lacking
in mental balance. He said that it was a pity that people were not more

ready than they were to break windows, and he was inclined to think
that Uncle Matthew, instead of being forcibly retired from the school,
ought to have been promoted to a better position.
"If you go on talking that way," his mother said to him, "people'll think
you're demented mad!"
"I wouldn't change my Uncle Matthew for the whole world," John
stoutly replied.
"No one's asking you to change him," Mrs. MacDermott retorted. "All
we're asking you to do, is not to go about imitating him with his
romantic talk!"

IV
John did not wish to imitate his Uncle Matthew ... he did not wish to
imitate anyone ... for, although he could not discover that "quareness"
in him which other