The Flirter

Page 32 January/February 2004 The Healing Path
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lirting is an energetic art, a social skill
and a biological instinct. It can be
playful and attraction based, or simply
socially engaging. This adult form of play is
liberating and can involve coquettish behavior
and a negotiation process. It makes communi-
cation more personalized, more fun, and often
offers a challenge.
In flirting, we attempt to read the energy of
another person and then bring our full pres-
ence and energy to them in an effort to create
personal interest. Some flirters seek attention.
Some seek relationships; others engage in
flirting because it is pleasurable in its own
right, regardless of where it might lead.
Flirting is most endearing when generated by
someone whose heart continually produces
goodwill and they desire to share the surplus.
When we feel good about ourselves, we are
more likely to flirt with ease, grace and success.
Our radiant energy can be a powerful social or
sexual attractant. Be generous in sharing that
inner “fizz” and focus on building a bridge with
another as you visualize a mutually enriching
exchange. Try a socially appropriate compli-
ment or your personal comment or question
regarding a shared experience. Pick-up lines fail
because they are a one-direction bullet, and the
receiver may feel like prey. If rejection is a con-
cern, visualize a protective shield to deflect any
negative energy or response.
Conscious flirting
requires us to witness our-
selves in the process, gauge
our impact and be aware of
risks and vulnerabilities.
Our heart chakra is open—
allowing caring, loving and receptive feelings
to emerge. Pleasure and that warm feeling of
connectedness raise the energetic vibration and
expand the heart’s capacity. The energy field
created gathers strength and becomes a magnet
for others in the vicinity.
In contrast, predatory flirting is objectifying,
self-serving and without reciprocity. There is a
predator and a prey. The flirting is often sus-
tained and seductive, and the chakra energy is
realigned and unbalanced. The heart chakra is
blocked, as there is no compassion. Both thesolar plexus chakra (power and will) and the
sex chakra shift up and expand to run the show.
How do you know if someone is attracted to
you? Body mirroring is a strong sign. Humans
naturally mirror posture and gestures when they
are attracted. Look for full frontal alignment,
simultaneous touching, soft laughter, body
arching, the eyebrow flash. Prolonged eye con-
tact can be a powerful act of communication. If
someone likes what they see, their pupil size
increases and so does their blink rate. Comfort
levels with interpersonal distance, along with
vocal tone, volume and speed, are significant
indicators. Sneak a peak at what the hands and
feet are doing. They will often subconsciously
point to a person we find appealing. Watch the
body language but don’t judge by one sign
alone; look for clusters of behavior.
Women, due to their innate social sensi-
tivity, usually control the flirt game. Studies
show that women are more skilled at informal
social conversation and are more adept at
reading facial expressions and interpreting ges-
tures. Women tend to initiate flirting with non-
verbal cues, summoning a man to move closer
and engage in conversation. They also escalate
or de-escalate the flirtation progression. Men
can easily improve their flirting skills by prac-
ticing the art of small talk and increasing their
focus on expressions and gestures.
If you have an abun-
dance of goodwill and
radiant energy, sharing it
will put smiles on many
faces and warmth in
many hearts. The Law of
Reaping and Sowing
(Karma) assures that your supply will regen-
erate. May you flirt with creativity, pride, joy
and integrity!
Pam Babbitt, Director of The Relationship Center of
Colorado, offers intimacy coaching, intuitive body-
work, and traditional sacred sexual guidance
blended with current sexology for men, women and
couples. Contact Pam at 970-229-5861 or
[email protected]. See the Community
Calendar for The Art of Flirting Singles Seminar on
January 18.
Fort Collins/Boulder 970.229.5861 [email protected]
Pam Babbitt, S.I.
Director of The Relationship Center of Colorado
Offering a unique blend of
Traditional Sacred Sexual
Guidance & Current Sexology
Intimacy Coaching and Intuitive Bodywork
for men, women and couples
Pam Babbitt, S.I.
Art
Flirting
the
of
Women tend to
initiate flirting with
non-verbal cues.

www.healingpath.com January/February 2004 Page 33