The First of April | Page 7

sat:?And as the giddy Votaries return'd,?They caught her sorrows, and their follies mourn'd.
Bold M---- offer'd up his patriot zeal,?And flaming Harangues for BRITANNIA'S weal;?And _Oaths_[d] by which he swore to stem the tide?Of Courtly Sway and Ministerial Pride;?Which thro' the ecchoing Isle were frequent heard,?When he a _Northern Candidate appear'd_.?But FOLLY gave him, with satiric look,?A _Dispensation_ from the Oaths he took;?Suspicious that, the patriot frenzy o'er,?These pious _Swearings_ had been _broke before_.
Smiles that ne'er pleas'd, and words as light as air, Which scarce could claim regard from FOLLY'S ear;?O'er-weening arts, which, tho' in smiles array'd,?By base-born fears have ever been betray'd;?A few fair deeds, whose merit has been lost?In _selfish_ ends, or _Pharisaic_ boast;?Soft, gentle Phrases, and meek, smiling Lies,?Which could not veil his bare hypocrisies;?Dull hours of _Courtship_ with the _unwilling_ Fair,?Who wonder'd _rosy Love was never there_;?Curses pour'd forth upon the nuptial hour,?Which sadly _fail'd him of the expected Dower_[e];?All these and more the splendid Shrine display'd,?By B----'s trembling hand with caution laid.
Now FOLLY frown'd, _who had not frown'd before_;?And, as I thought, in her right hand she bore?A Parchment Scroll, which strait she downward threw,?For the pale, timorous Lordling to review.?A Will it seem'd;--and soon, with weeping eye,?He told aloud _th' omitted Legacy_[f].
_Then_ FOLLY _titter'd_[g], and the joyful Croud?Burst forth in laughing shouts so shrill and loud,?The affrighted vision fled in haste away,?And my glad eyes beheld the chearful day.
[Footnote a: [_His S----r's Fate._]--If the Reader should think I have strayed beyond the line of propriety in introducing a Family so _profitably_ employed as this, into the _Temple of Folly_,--I shall beg leave to refer him to a _sacred Book_ which this Family pretend to read with great care and attention; wherein he will perceive that the _wisdom of this world_, with which this Family so much abounds, is accounted _foolishness_.--Tho', if he should object to _Scripture_ authority, he will find, in the _laugh_ and _contempt_ of Mankind, the real folly of those who, in the midst of affluence, by the most bare-fac'd and indelicate proceedings, obtain and continue to grasp at every means of _domestic emolument_.]
[Footnote b: [And the _flow L----_.]--I do not allude to this noble person's capacity,--but to his _great and well-known Indispositions to this Connection_.]
[Footnote c: [_to break through every golden-rule_.] This woman, as an example of the good effects of _a prudential_ and _parsimonious_ education, the moment she was let loose, run into the extreme of Folly and expensive Fashions.--It has been said of one of her sisters, that she never spoke before her marriage, and was never silent?afterwards.--This is the true art of managing Daughters--To prevent a discovery of their real dispositions 'till the end of the hypocrisy is answer'd,--and the _Settlement for Life_ irrevocable.]
[Footnote d: [_And Oaths by which he swore_.] At the last General Election, it was consider'd as a certain road to success by the Patriotic Candidates for the Senatorial Dignity, to propose and take oaths to support certain _wise_ measures, and to endeavour at the Repeal of certain _dangerous_ Laws. This person was among the outrageous Partisans of Opposition, who, at that time, look the propos'd oaths with great noise and clamour in various parts of the Kingdom: But his success was not then equal to that which he has since found, without any _public engagements_, beneath the smile of Ministerial favour.--But I do not mean, indeed I have no right to express myself with severity at this change of Party;--I will not add _Sentiments_;--for they are in the secret recesses of his own breast.--Nor shall I endeavour, at present, to develope the turnings and windings of that course which many of our Modern Patriots have taken.--These things will, in due time, explain themselves.--The Right Honourable Captain fought and found an empty Renown among the Frozen Seas of the _North_.--Some more substantial Honours seem to await him here.--I do not despair of seeing him _a Lord of the Admiralty_.--The Noble Relation to whom he owes the rudiments of naval wisdom, may also have communicated to him that subtle Spirit, which, in spite of Private Connections, Family Dissentions, Public Engagements, and Ministerial Confusion, looks alone to, and will maintain its own Interests.]
[Footnote e: [_th' expected Dower._]--The Anecdote to which this relates is known to every one.--It contains the picture of a _sordid Man in the extreme_, who was capable of seeking for emolument in the Injustice of a Parent to his Children;--and, being repulsed in this hope, made the basest resolutions, but possess'd not sufficient courage to put them in execution.--And his reward is _Disappointment for Life_.
It is very extraordinary,--but the polite _Clubs_ and _Circles_ were alive at this event.--What then must that Man be, whose Miseries furnish delight to his Fellow-Creatures!--But when a _money-loving spirit_ alone _leads_ a man to the Altar,--the World will rejoice if