The Fine Ladys Airs | Page 9

Governants, that were Dames of Honour to Queen Bess, make their Daughters appear as monstrous in this Age, as they themselves did in that.--Well, Mr. Farendine, when you have any thing slight and pretty, let me see it. [_To the Manto-Maker_] Mrs. Flounce, this Sleeve is most abominably cut.
_Mant. Mak._ Madam, 'tis exacly the Shape of my Lady _Snipe's_, and she s allow'd to be the Pink o'the Mode.
L. _Rod._ My Lady Snipe, who ever heard of her?
Mrs. _Lov._ Oh! Madam, that's the over-dress'd Lady in _Fuller's Rents_, the first in England, that wore Flow'rs in her Hair; She has 5000_l._ indeed, but they say 'tis in bad Hands, and the Town has neglected her these ten Years.
L. _Rod._ And wou'd you have me appear like a Turn-stile Creature? why d'you work for such Trumpery? have you not Business enough from Court.
_Mant. Mak._ Truly, Madam, I'm glad to accept of a Gown from any Body; for the Ladies, now-a-days, are grown so saving, they make all their Petticoats themselves.
L. _Rod._ Don't you work into the City too?
_Mant. Mak._ Yes, Madam, I have eleven Gowns to finish against Sunday, for very good Customers, and very religious People.
L. _Rod._ Religious People! This Creature is so employ'd by the Canaille, I shall have my Cloths cut to pieces, dear Cozen, let Buda make me a Suit with Expedition, I'll present this to the Play-House.
_Semp._ Does your Ladyship like your Head, Madam?
L. _Rod._ The Lace, Mrs. Taffety, is so course and so heavy, I'm ready to sink beneath the weight of it.
_Semp._ Madam, 'tis right Mechlin, cost me Six Guineas a Yard, and I bought it too of a Merchant, that has smuggl'd many a hundred Pounds worth.
L. _Rod._ There you please me, English People are extremely fond of what's forbid, we commonly obey our Parents, and the Government much a-like; and tho' the State prohibits Flanders Lace, French Alamodes, and India Sattins, we have 'em all by the way of Holland.--These Ruffles too are so furiously starch'd, I shall throw People down as I move along.
_Semp._ The Ladies, Madam, love a stiff Ruffle, for shou'd the Wind blow it aside, your Ladyship's Elbow might catch cold, but I'll slacken my Hand i'the next.--Does your Ladyship want a very fine short Apron?
L. _Rod._ Women o' Quality, Mrs. Taffety have left 'em off, and those Ladies that do wear 'em, generally make 'em of their old Top-knots [_to the India Woman_] Mrs. Japan, you are a Stranger here, I hav'n't seen you since I paid off your last Bill,
_Ind. Wom._ Oh, Madam! I have been at Death's Door, the Hypocondriacks have so prey'd upon my Spirits, they have destroy'd my Constitution, such Rotations i'my Head, such an Oppression at my Stomach--but I ha' brought you a Pound of Bohee, so purifying, 'twill give your Ladyship a new Mass of Blood in a Quarter of an Hour.
L. _Rod._ Mrs. Chince has much better.
_Ind. Wom._ Then will I eat Mrs. Chince.--Shall I show you some fine India Pictures?
L. _Rod._ I hate those Shadows o' Men half finish'd.
_Ind Wom._ I must own the Substance of a Man well finish'd is much better,--but here's a Set o'Japan Cups will ravish your Ladyship, a Tradesman's Wife long'd, and miscarry'd about 'em.
L. _Rod._ I'm overstock'd with China, and they say 'tis grown so common. I intend to sacrifice mine to my Monkey.
_Ind. Wom._ Nay, pray, my Lady, buy somewhat of me, you know I'm in great Tribulation, I trusted a couple of Trollops, that were turn'd out of the Play-House, for having too much Assurance for the Stage, and set up a little Shop in _Spring Garden_; and the bold Jades are gone a stroling Fifty Pounds in my Debt. Besides, I have just now a lazy Trull of a Daughter, that run away with a Foot Soldier, return'd big with the Lord knows what, and that's no small Charge to me, that am forc'd to pad it about for a Livelihood.
L. _Rod._ Well, you may leave a Pound of Powder.
_Ind. Wom._ [_Aside._] A Pound of Powder, pox o'your Generosity, these great Ladies are grown as stingy as if they paid one ready Mony, were it not for a City-bubble now and then, I might e'en go dance with the Dogs in _May-Fair_.
L. _Rod._ [_To the Toy-Man._] Mr. Gimcrack, what new Fancies have you brought this Morning?
_Toy-M._ A Pair of nice Genoa Gloves for your Ladyship, curiously made up in a gilt Wallnut Shell.
L. Rod A Wallnut Shell! they can't be large enough.
_Toy-M._ Madam, I sold six Pair to my Lady Strammell, and her Arm's nine Inches Diameter.
L. _Rod._ What else have you?
_Toy-M._ A choice Comb for your Eye-brows, Madam, an acute Pair o' Pinchers for your Hair, and a most ingenious French Knife to slice the Powder of your Ladyship's