The Fifth Series Plays | Page 7

she's in
France--and has a friend staying here.
BUILDER. Oh! And you have a key?
GUY. My sister's.
BUILDER. Does your sister shave?
GUY. I--I don't think so.
BUILDER. No. Then perhaps you'll tell me what these mean? [He
takes out the strop and shaving stick].
GUY. Oh! Ah! Those things?
BUILDER. Yes. Now then?
GUY. [Addressing MRS BUILDER] Need we go into this in your
presence, ma'am? It seems rather delicate.
BUILDER. What explanation have you got?
GUY. Well, you see--
BUILDER. No lies; out with it!
GUY. [With decision] I prefer to say nothing.
BUILDER. What's your name?
GUY. Guy Herringhame.
BUILDER. Do you live here?
Guy makes no sign.
MRS BUILDER. [To Guy] I think you had better go.
BUILDER. Julia, will you leave me to manage this?
MRS BUILDER. [To Guy] When do you expect my daughter in?
GUY. Now--directly.
MRS BUILDER. [Quietly] Are you married to her?

GUY. Yes. That is--no--o; not altogether, I mean.
BUILDER. What's that? Say that again!
GUY. [Folding his arms] I'm not going to say another word.
BUILDER. I am.
MRS BUILDER. John--please!
BUILDER. Don't put your oar in! I've had wonderful patience so far.
[He puts his boot through a drawing] Art! This is what comes of it! Are
you an artist?
GUY. No; a flying man. The truth is--
BUILDER. I don't want to hear you speak the truth. I'll wait for my
daughter.
GUY. If you do, I hope you'll be so very good as to be gentle. If you
get angry I might too, and that would be awfully ugly.
BUILDER. Well, I'm damned!
GUY. I quite understand that, sir. But, as a man of the world, I hope
you'll take a pull before she comes, if you mean to stay.
BUILDER. If we mean to stay! That's good!
GUY. Will you have a cigarette?
BUILDER. I--I can't express--
GUY. [Soothingly] Don't try, sir. [He jerks up his chin, listening] I
think that's her. [Goes to the door] Yes. Now, please! [He opens the
door] Your father and mother, Athene.
ATHENE enters. She is flushed and graceful. Twenty-two, with a short
upper lip, a straight nose, dark hair, and glowing eyes. She wears bright
colours, and has a slow, musical voice, with a slight lisp.
ATHENE. Oh! How are you, mother dear? This is rather a surprise.
Father always keeps his word, so I certainly didn't expect him. [She
looks steadfastly at BUILDER, but does not approach].
BUILDER. [Controlling himself with an effort] Now, Athene, what's
this?
ATHENE. What's what?
BUILDER. [The strop held out] Are you married to this--this--?
ATHENE. [Quietly] To all intents and purposes.
BUILDER. In law?
ATHENE. No.
BUILDER. My God! You--you--!
ATHENE. Father, don't call names, please.

BUILDER. Why aren't you married to him?
ATHENE. Do you want a lot of reasons, or the real one?
BUILDER. This is maddening! [Goes up stage].
ATHENE. Mother dear, will you go into the other room with Guy?
[She points to the door Right].
BUILDER. Why?
ATHENE. Because I would rather she didn't hear the reason.
GUY. [To ATHENE, sotto voce] He's not safe.
ATHENE. Oh! yes; go on.
Guy follows MRS BUILDER, and after hesitation at the door they go
out into the bedroom.
BUILDER. Now then!
ATHENE. Well, father, if you want to know the real reason, it's--you.
BUILDER. What on earth do you mean?
ATHENE. Guy wants to marry me. In fact, we--But I had such a
stunner of marriage from watching you at home, that I--
BUILDER. Don't be impudent! My patience is at breaking-point, I
warn you.
ATHENE. I'm perfectly serious, Father. I tell you, we meant to marry,
but so far I haven't been able to bring myself to it. You never noticed
how we children have watched you.
BUILDER. Me?
ATHENE. Yes. You and mother, and other things; all sorts of things--
BUILDER. [Taking out a handkerchief and wiping his brow] I really
think you're mad.
ATHENE. I'm sure you must, dear.
BUILDER. Don't "dear" me! What have you noticed? D'you mean I'm
not a good husband and father?
ATHENE. Look at mother. I suppose you can't, now; you're too used to
her.
BUILDER. Of course I'm used to her. What else is marrying for?
ATHENE. That; and the production of such as me. And it isn't good
enough, father. You shouldn't have set us such a perfect example.
BUILDER. You're talking the most arrant nonsense I ever heard. [He
lifts his hands] I've a good mind to shake it out of you.
ATHENE. Shall I call Guy?
He drops his hands.

Confess that being a good husband and father has tried you terribly. It
has us, you know.
BUILDER. [Taking refuge in sarcasm] When you've quite done being
funny, perhaps you'll tell me why you've behaved like a common