The Eureka Stockade | Page 9

in a third hole of his,
whose depth and shape recommended him as a first rate grave-digger.
And what has all this bosh to do with the Eureka Stockade?

Chapter VIII
.

Fiat Fustitia, Ruat Coelum.
As an old Ballaarat hand, I hereby assert, that much of the odium of the
mining community against red-tape, arose from the accursed practice of
jumping.
One fact from the 'stubborn-things' store. The Eureka gutter was fast
progressing down hill towards the Eureka gully. A party of Britishers
had two claims; the one, on the slope of the hill, was bottomed on
heavy gold; the other, some four claims from it, and parallel with the
range, was some ninety feet deep, and was worked by day only, by
three men: a fourth man would now and then bring a set of trimmed
slabs from the first hole aforesaid, where he was the principal 'chips.'
There was a Judas Iscariot among the party. One fine morning, a hole
was bottomed down the gully, and proved a scheisser. A rush, Eureka

style, was the conseqence; and it was pretended now that the gutter
would keep with the ranges, towards the Catholic church.
A party of Yankees, with revolvers and Mexican knives--the garb of
'bouncers' in those days--jumped the second hole of the Britishers,
dismantled the windlass, and Godamn'd as fast as the Britishers cursed
in the colonial style. The excitement was awful. Commissioner Rede
was fetched to settle the dispute. An absurd and unjust regulation was
then the law; no party was allowed to have an interest in two claims at
one and the same time, which was called 'owning two claims.' The
Yankees carried the day. I, a living witness, do assert that, from that
day, there was a 'down' on the name of Rede.
For the commissioners, this jumping business was by no means an
agreeable job. They were fetched to the spot: a mob would soon collect
round the disputed claim; and for 'fair play,' it required the wisdom of
Solomon, because the parties concerned set the same price on their
dispute, as the two harlots on the living child.
I. The conflicting evidence, in consequence of hard swearing, prompted
by gold-thirst, the most horrible demon that depraves the human heart,
even a naturally honest heart.--II. The incomprehensible, unsettled,
impracticable ordinances for the abominable management of the
gold-fields; which ordinances, left to the discretion--that is, the caprice;
and to the good sense--that is, the motto, 'odi profanum vulgus et
arceo;' and to the best judgment--that is the proverbial incapability of
all aristocractical red-tape, HOW TO RULE US VAGABONDS. Both
those reasons, I say, must make even the most hardened bibber of
Toorak small-beer acknowledge and confess, that the perfidious
mistake at head-quarters was, their persisting to make the following
Belgravian 'billet-doux' the 'sine qua non' recommendation for
gold-lace on Ballaarat (at the time):--
(ADDRESS)
"To the Victorian Board of Small Beer,
"Toorak (somewhere in Australasia, i.e., Australia Felix--inquire from
the natives, reported to be of blackskin, at the southern end of the
globe.)
"Belgravia, First year of the royal projecting the Great Exhibition,
Hyde Park.
"LADY STARVESEMPSTRESS, great-grand-niece of His Grace the

Duke Of CURRY-POWDER, begs to introduce to FORTYSHILLING
TAKEHIMAWAY, Esquire, of Toorak, see address, her brother-in-law,
POLLIPUSS, WATERLOOBOLTER, tenth son of the venerable
Prebendary of North and South Palaver, Canon of St. Sebastopol in the
east, and Rector of Allblessedfools, West End--URGENT."
In justice, however, to Master Waterloobolter, candidate for gold-lace,
it must not be omitted that he is a Piccadilly young sprat, and so at
Julien's giant 'bal-masque', was ever gracious to the lady of his love.
"Miss Smartdeuce, may I beg the honour of your hand for the next
waltz? surely after a round or two you will relish your champagne."
"Yes," with a smothered "dear," was the sigh-drawn reply.
Who has the power to roar the command, "Thus far shalt thou go, and
no further," to the flood of tears from forlorn Smartdeuce, when her
soft Waterloobolter bolted for the gold-fields of Australia Felix.
To be serious. How could any candid mind otherwise explain the
honest boldness of eight out of nine members of the first Local Court,
Ballaarat, who, one and all, I do not say dared, but I say called upon
their fellow miners to come forward to a public meeting on the old spot,
Bakery-hill. September, Saturday, 30th, 1855. Said members had
already settled at that time 201 disputes, and given their judgement,
involving some half a million sterling altogether, for all what they
knew, and yet not one miner rose one finger against them, when they
imperatively desired to know whether they had done their duty and still
possessed the confidence of their fellow diggers! They (said members)
are practical men, of our own