The Etiquette of To-day

The Etiquette of To-day, by Edith B. Ordway

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Title: The Etiquette of To-day
Author: Edith B. Ordway
Release Date: August 27, 2007 [EBook #22417]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
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THE ETIQUETTE OF TO-DAY

HANDBOOKS
BY EDITH B. ORDWAY
The Handbook of Conundrums 12mo, cloth $1.25 net
The Handbook of Quotations 12mo, cloth $1.25 net
The Etiquette of To-day 12mo, cloth $1.25 net
Handbook of the Operas
New and Enlarged Edition 12mo, cloth $1.50 net Full paste, grain leather $3.00 net
Synonyms and Antonyms 12mo, cloth $1.50 net
GEORGE SULLY & COMPANY NEW YORK

THE ETIQUETTE OF TO-DAY
REVISED AND ENLARGED
BY
EDITH B. ORDWAY
Author of "The Opera Book," etc.
NEW YORK GEORGE SULLY AND COMPANY

Copyright, 1918 BY SULLY AND KLEINTEICH
* * * * *
Revised Edition, Copyright, 1920 BY GEORGE SULLY AND COMPANY All rights reserved

PRINTED IN U. S. A.

PREFACE
THE customs of social life need frequent restating and adaptation to new needs. They are customs because they are the best rules of conduct that have been garnered from the experiences of succeeding generations under common conditions.
To know them, to catch their spirit, and to follow them in an intelligent way, without slavish punctiliousness but with careful observance, make one skillful in the art of social intercourse, and at home in any society.
Etiquette will not take the place of character, nor of an accurate knowledge of human nature and the arts of practical life. Given these, however, it will unlock to any man or woman doors of success and profit and real happiness which, without it, would have remained forever closed.
E. B. O.
"We feel 'at home' wherever we know how to conduct ourselves."
T. L. NICHOLS

CONTENTS
CHAPTER PAGE
I. The Rewards of Etiquette 1
II. Personality 6
III. Family Etiquette 20 Obligations of the Married 20 General Rules of Conduct 26 Table Etiquette 33 Anniversaries 40 The Giving of Presents 41 Intimate Friends 42 Illness in the Home 44 Courtesy to Servants 45
IV. Conversation and Correspondence 48 The Art of Conversation 48 Correspondence 52 Paper 55 Ink 58 Handwriting 58 Sealing, Stamping, and Directing of Envelopes 59 Salutation, Conclusion, and Signature of Letters 66 Letters of Introduction 70 Letters of Recommendation 73 Third-person Letters 74 Informal Invitations and Announcements 74 Letters of Condolence 75 Answering Letters 76
V. Casual Meetings and Calls 78 Greetings and Recognitions 78 Introductions 84 Calls 90 Social Calls of Men 92 First Calls 94
VI. The Personal Card and the Engraved Invitation 96 Form of Card 96 Inscription 97 Titles 100 Use 102 The Engraved Invitation 105 Dining and Party Invitations 108 Wedding Invitations and Announcements 114 Various Announcement Cards 119
VII. Behavior in Public 122
VIII. The Art of Being a Guest 137
IX. Duties of Host and Hostess 145 Breakfasts and Luncheons 148 The Formal Dinner 149 Visits 158 Special Duties of the Country Hostess 161 Public Functions 165
X. Duties of the Chaperon 169
XI. Etiquette of the Marriage Engagement 174 The Proposal 174 Announcement of Engagement 179 Bridal "Showers" 181 The Broken Engagement 183 Preparation for a Wedding 185
XII. The Conduct of a Wedding 194 The Church Wedding 194 The Home Wedding 201 The Wedding Breakfast 204 The Wedding Journey 208 The Wedding Fee 208 Wedding Presents 210 The Country Wedding 212
XIII. Etiquette for Children 214
XIV. Etiquette of Mourning 224
XV. Military, Naval, and Flag Etiquette 231 The Formal Military Wedding 231 Naval and Yachting Usage 232 Etiquette of the Flag 233
INDEX 237
"THE secret of success in society is a certain heartiness and sympathy. A man who is not happy in the company cannot find any word in his memory that will fit the occasion. All his information is a little impertinent. A man who is happy there finds in every turn of the conversation equally lucky occasions for the introduction of that which he has to say. The favorites of society, and what it calls whole souls, are able men, and of more spirit than wit, who have no uncomfortable egoism, but who exactly fill the hour and the company, contented and contenting, at a marriage or a funeral, a ball or a jury, a water party or a shooting match."
Emerson.

THE ETIQUETTE OF TO-DAY
CHAPTER I
THE REWARDS OF ETIQUETTE
SOCIETY is a game which all men play. "Etiquette" is the name given the rules of the game. If you play it well, you win. If you play it ill, you lose. The prize is a certain sort of happiness without which no human being is ever quite satisfied.
Because the demand for social happiness is thus fundamental in human nature, the game has to be