The Essays, vol 8 | Page 9

inventions of all the tailors in
the world cannot furnish out new whim-whams enow to feed our vanity
withal, there will often be a necessity that the despised forms must
again come in vogue, these immediately after fall into the same
contempt; and that the same judgment must, in the space of fifteen or
twenty years, take up half-a-dozen not only divers but contrary
opinions, with an incredible lightness and inconstancy; there is not any
of us so discreet, who suffers not himself to be gulled with this
contradiction, and both in external and internal sight to be insensibly
blinded.
I wish to muster up here some old customs that I have in memory,
some of them the same with ours, the others different, to the end that,
bearing in mind this continual variation of human things, we may have
our judgment more clearly and firmly settled.
The thing in use amongst us of fighting with rapier and cloak was in
practice amongst the Romans also:
"Sinistras sagis involvunt, gladiosque distringunt,"
["They wrapt their cloaks upon the left arm, and drew their
swords."--De Bello Civili, i. 75.]
says Caesar; and he observes a vicious custom of our nation, that
continues yet amongst us, which is to stop passengers we meet upon
the road, to compel them to give an account who they are, and to take it
for an affront and just cause of quarrel if they refuse to do it.
At the Baths, which the ancients made use of every day before they
went to dinner, and as frequently as we wash our hands, they at first
only bathed their arms and legs; but afterwards, and by a custom that
has continued for many ages in most nations of the world, they bathed
stark naked in mixed and perfumed water, looking upon it as a great
simplicity to bathe in mere water. The most delicate and affected

perfumed themselves all over three or four times a day. They often
caused their hair to be pinched off, as the women of France have some
time since taken up a custom to do their foreheads,
"Quod pectus, quod crura tibi, quod brachia veilis,"
["You pluck the hairs out of your breast, your arms, and thighs."
--Martial, ii. 62, i.]
though they had ointments proper for that purpose:
"Psilotro nitet, aut acids latet oblita creta."
["She shines with unguents, or with chalk dissolved in vinegar." --Idem,
vi. 93, 9.]
They delighted to lie soft, and alleged it as a great testimony of
hardiness to lie upon a mattress. They ate lying upon beds, much after
the manner of the Turks in this age:
"Inde thoro pater AEneas sic orsus ab alto."
["Thus Father AEneas, from his high bed of state, spoke." --AEneid, ii.
2.]
And 'tis said of the younger Cato, that after the battle of Pharsalia,
being entered into a melancholy disposition at the ill posture of the
public affairs, he took his repasts always sitting, assuming a strict and
austere course of life. It was also their custom to kiss the hands of great
persons; the more to honour and caress them. And meeting with friends,
they always kissed in salutation, as do the Venetians:
"Gratatusque darem cum dulcibus oscula verbis."
["And kindest words I would mingle with kisses." --Ovid, De Pont., iv.
9, 13]
In petitioning or saluting any great man, they used to lay their hands
upon his knees. Pasicles the philosopher, brother of Crates, instead of

laying his hand upon the knee laid it upon the private parts, and being
roughly repulsed by him to whom he made that indecent compliment:
"What," said he, "is not that part your own as well as the other?"--
[Diogenes Laertius, vi. 89.]--They used to eat fruit, as we do, after
dinner. They wiped their fundaments (let the ladies, if they please,
mince it smaller) with a sponge, which is the reason that 'spongia' is a
smutty word in Latin; which sponge was fastened to the end of a stick,
as appears by the story of him who, as he was led along to be thrown to
the wild beasts in the sight of the people, asking leave to do his
business, and having no other way to despatch himself, forced the
sponge and stick down his throat and choked himself.--[Seneca, Ep.,
70.] They used to wipe, after coition, with perfumed wool:
"At tibi nil faciam; sed Iota mentula lana."
They had in the streets of Rome vessels and little tubs for passengers to
urine in:
"Pusi saepe lacum propter se, ac dolia curta. Somno devincti, credunt
extollere vestem."
["The little boys in their sleep often think they are near the public urinal,
and raise their coats to make use of it." --Lucretius, iv.]
They had collation betwixt meals, and had in summer