The Essays, vol 17 | Page 7

light occasions that humble our lives. ]
I am no philosopher; evils oppress me according to their weight, and
they weigh as much according to the form as the matter, and very often
more. If I have therein more perspicacity than the vulgar, I have also
more patience; in short, they weigh with me, if they do not hurt me.
Life is a tender thing, and easily molested. Since my age has made me
grow more pensive and morose,
"Nemo enim resistit sibi, cum caeperit impelli,"
["For no man resists himself when he has begun to be driven
forward."--Seneca, Ep., 13.]
for the most trivial cause imaginable, I irritate that humour, which
afterwards nourishes and exasperates itself of its own motion; attracting
and heaping up matter upon matter whereon to feed:
"Stillicidi casus lapidem cavat:"
["The ever falling drop hollows out a stone."--Lucretius, i. 314.]
these continual tricklings consume and ulcerate me. Ordinary

inconveniences are never light; they are continual and inseparable,
especially when they spring from the members of a family, continual
and inseparable. When I consider my affairs at distance and in gross, I
find, because perhaps my memory is none of the best, that they have
gone on hitherto improving beyond my reason or expectation; my
revenue seems greater than it is; its prosperity betrays me: but when I
pry more narrowly into the business, and see how all things go:
"Tum vero in curas animum diducimus omnes;"
["Indeed we lead the mind into all sorts of cares." --AEneid, v. 720.]
I have a thousand things to desire and to fear. To give them quite over,
is very easy for me to do: but to look after them without trouble, is very
hard. 'Tis a miserable thing to be in a place where everything you see
employs and concerns you; and I fancy that I more cheerfully enjoy the
pleasures of another man's house, and with greater and a purer relish,
than those of my own. Diogenes answered according to my humour
him who asked him what sort of wine he liked the best: "That of
another," said he.--[Diogenes Laertius, vi. 54.]
My father took a delight in building at Montaigne, where he was born;
and in all the government of domestic affairs I love to follow his
example and rules, and I shall engage those who are to succeed me, as
much as in me lies, to do the same. Could I do better for him, I would;
and am proud that his will is still performing and acting by me. God
forbid that in my hands I should ever suffer any image of life, that I am
able to render to so good a father, to fail. And wherever I have taken in
hand to strengthen some old foundations of walls, and to repair some
ruinous buildings, in earnest I have done it more out of respect to his
design, than my own satisfaction; and am angry at myself that I have
not proceeded further to finish the beginnings he left in his house, and
so much the more because I am very likely to be the last possessor of
my race, and to give the last hand to it. For, as to my own particular
application, neither the pleasure of building, which they say is so
bewitching, nor hunting, nor gardens, nor the other pleasures of a
retired life, can much amuse me. And 'tis what I am angry at myself for,
as I am for all other opinions that are incommodious to me; which I

would not so much care to have vigorous and learned, as I would have
them easy and convenient for life, they are true and sound enough, if
they are useful and pleasing. Such as hear me declare my ignorance in
husbandry, whisper in my ear that it is disdain, and that I neglect to
know its instruments, its seasons, its order, how they dress my vines,
how they graft, and to know the names and forms of herbs and fruits,
and the preparing the meat on which I live, the names and prices of the
stuffs I wear, because, say they; I have set my heart upon some higher
knowledge; they kill me in saying so. It is not disdain; it is folly, and
rather stupidity than glory; I had rather be a good horseman than a good
logician:
"Quin to aliquid saltem potius, quorum indiget usus, Viminibus
mollique paras detexere junco."
["'Dost thou not rather do something which is required, and make osier
and reed basket."--Virgil, Eclog., ii. 71.]
We occupy our thoughts about the general, and about universal causes
and conducts, which will very well carry on themselves without our
care; and leave our own business at random, and Michael much more
our concern than man. Now I