The Essays, vol 11 | Page 5

of constancy and resolution in a man who does not yet
believe himself to be certainly in danger, though he really is, is not
reason; and 'tis not enough that he die in this posture, unless he
purposely put himself into it for this effect. It commonly falls out in
most men that they set a good face upon the matter and speak with
great indifference, to acquire reputation, which they hope afterwards,
living, to enjoy. Of all whom I have seen die, fortune has disposed their
countenances and no design of theirs; and even of those who in ancient
times have made away with themselves, there is much to be considered
whether it were a sudden or a lingering death. That cruel Roman

Emperor would say of his prisoners, that he would make them feel
death, and if any one killed himself in prison, "That fellow has made an
escape from me"; he would prolong death and make it felt by torments:
"Vidimus et toto quamvis in corpore caeso Nil anima lethale datum,
moremque nefandae, Durum saevitix, pereuntis parcere morti."
["We have seen in tortured bodies, amongst the wounds, none that have
been mortal, inhuman mode of dire cruelty, that means to kill, but will
not let men die."--Lucan, iv. i. 78.]
In plain truth, it is no such great matter for a man in health and in a
temperate state of mind to resolve to kill himself; it is very easy to play
the villain before one comes to the point, insomuch that Heliogabalus,
the most effeminate man in the world, amongst his lowest sensualities,
could forecast to make himself die delicately, when he should be forced
thereto; and that his death might not give the lie to the rest of his life,
had purposely built a sumptuous tower, the front and base of which
were covered with planks enriched with gold and precious stones,
thence to precipitate himself; and also caused cords twisted with gold
and crimson silk to be made, wherewith to strangle himself; and a
sword with the blade of gold to be hammered out to fall upon; and kept
poison in vessels of emerald and topaz wherewith to poison himself
according as he should like to choose one of these ways of dying:
"Impiger. . . ad letum et fortis virtute coacta."
["Resolute and brave in the face of death by a forced courage. --"Lucan,
iv. 798.]
Yet in respect of this person, the effeminacy of his preparations makes
it more likely that he would have thought better on't, had he been put to
the test. But in those who with greater resolution have determined to
despatch themselves, we must examine whether it were with one blow
which took away the leisure of feeling the effect for it is to be
questioned whether, perceiving life, by little and little, to steal away the
sentiment of the body mixing itself with that of the soul, and the means
of repenting being offered, whether, I say, constancy and obstinacy in

so dangerous an intention would have been found.
In the civil wars of Caesar, Lucius Domitius, being taken in the
Abruzzi, and thereupon poisoning himself, afterwards repented. It has
happened in our time that a certain person, being resolved to die and
not having gone deep enough at the first thrust, the sensibility of the
flesh opposing his arm, gave himself two or three wounds more, but
could never prevail upon himself to thrust home. Whilst Plautius
Silvanus was upon his trial, Urgulania, his grandmother, sent him a
poniard with which, not being able to kill himself, he made his servants
cut his veins. Albucilla in Tiberius time having, to kill himself, struck
with too much tenderness, gave his adversaries opportunity to imprison
and put him to death their own way.' And that great leader,
Demosthenes, after his rout in Sicily, did the same; and C. Fimbria,
having struck himself too weakly, entreated his servant to despatch him.
On the contrary, Ostorius, who could not make use of his own arm,
disdained to employ that of his servant to any other use but only to hold
the poniard straight and firm; and bringing his throat to it, thrust
himself through. 'Tis, in truth, a morsel that is to be swallowed without
chewing, unless a man be thoroughly resolved; and yet Adrian the
emperor made his physician mark and encircle on his pap the mortal
place wherein he was to stab to whom he had given orders to kill him.
For this reason it was that Caesar, being asked what death he thought to
be the most desired, made answer, "The least premeditated and the
shortest."--[Tacitus, Annals, xvi. 15]-- If Caesar dared to say it, it is no
cowardice in me to believe it." A short death," says Pliny,