The English Spy

The English Spy, by Bernard
Blackmantle

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Title: The English Spy An Original Work Characteristic, Satirical, And
Humorous. Comprising Scenes And Sketches In Every Rank Of
Society, Being Portraits Drawn From The Life
Author: Bernard Blackmantle
Illustrator: Robert Cruikshank
Release Date: December 3, 2006 [EBook #20001]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE
ENGLISH SPY ***

Produced by David Widger

THE

ENGLISH SPY:
An Original Work
CHARACTERISTIC, SATIRICAL, AND HUMOROUS.
COMPRISING
SCENES AND SKETCHES IN EVERY RANK OF SOCIETY,
BEING
PORTRAITS
DRAWN FROM THE LIFE
BY BERNARD BLACKMANTLE.
THE ILLUSTRATIONS DESIGNED BY
ROBERT CRUIKSHANK.
By Frolic, Mirth, and Fancy gay, Old Father Time is borne away.
LONDON:
PUBLISHED BY SHERWOOD, JONES, AND CO.
PATERNOSTER-ROW.
1825.
[Illustration: Cover]

[Illustration: Frontispiece]

[Illustration: Titlepage]

BERNARD BLACKMANTLE{*} TO THE REVIEWERS.
"But now, what Quixote of the age would care To wage a war with dirt,
and fight with air?"
Messieurs the Critics,
After twelve months of agreeable toil, made easy by unprecedented
success, the period has at length arrived when your high mightinesses
will be able to indulge your voracious appetites by feeding and
fattening on the work of death. Already does my prophetic spirit picture
to itself the black cloud of cormorants, swelling and puffing in the
fulness of their editorial pride, at the huge eccentric volume which has
thus thrust itself into extensive circulation without the usual cringings
and cravings to the pick fault tribe. But
I dare defy the venal crew that prates, From tailor Place* to fustian
Herald Thwaites.{**}
* The woolly editor of the Breeches Makers', alias the "Westminster
Review."
** The thing who writes the leaden (leading) articles for the Morning
Herald.
Let me have good proof of your greediness to devour my labours, and I
will dish up such a meal for you in my next volume, as shall go nigh to
produce extermination by surfeit. One favour, alone, I crave--give me
abuse enough; let no squeamish pretences of respect for my bookseller,
or disguised qualms of apprehension for your own sacred persons, deter
the natural inclination of your hearts. The slightest deviation from your
usual course to independent writers--or one step towards
commendation from your gang, might induce the public to believe I
had abandoned my character, and become one of your honourable
fraternity-the very suspicion of which would (to me) produce
irretrievable ruin. Your masters, the trading brotherhood, will (as usual)
direct you in the course you should pursue; whether to approve or

condemn, as their 'peculiar interests may dictate. Most sapient sirs of
the secret bandit' of the screen, inquisitors of literature, raise all your
arms and heels, your daggers, masks, and hatchets, to revenge the
daring of an open foe, who thus boldly defies your base and selfish
views; for, basking at his ease in the sunshine of public patronage, he
feels that his heart is rendered invulnerable to yourpoisoned shafts.
Read, and you shall find I have not been parsimonious of the means to
grant you food and pleasure: errors there are, no doubt, and plenty of
them, grammatical and typographical, all of which I might have
corrected by an errata at the end of my volume; but I disdain the wish
to rob you of your office, and have therefore left them just where I
made them, without a single note to mark them out; for if all the thistles
were rooted up, what would become of the asses? or of those
"Who pin their easy faith on critic's sleeve, And, knowing nothing,
ev'ry thing believe?"
Fully satisfied that swarms of literary blow flies will pounce upon the
errors with delight, and, buzzing with the ecstasy of infernal joy,
endeavour to hum their readers into a belief of the profundity of their
critic erudition;--I shall nevertheless, with Churchill, laughingly
exclaim--"Perish my muse"
"If e'er her labours weaken to refine The generous roughness of a
nervous line."
Bernard Blackmantle.

CONTENTS. Page INTRODUCTION 3
PREFACE, IN IMITATION OF THE FIRST SATIRE OF PERSIUS 5
REFLECTIONS, ADDRESSED TO THOSE WHO CAN THINK.
Reflections of an Author--Weighty Reasons for writing-- Magister
Artis Ingeniique Largitor Venter--Choice of Subject
considered--Advice of Index, the Bookseller--Of the Nature of

Prefaces--How to commence a new Work 7
A FEW THOUGHTS ON MYSELF 14
A SHANDEAN SCENE, BETWEEN LADY MARY OLD-- STYLE
AND HORATIO HEARTLY 17
SCHOOL--BOY REMINISCENCES. ON EARLY FRIEND-- SHIP 22
CHARACTER OF BERNARD BLACKMANTLE. BY HORATIO
HEARTLY 25
ETON SKETCHES OF CHARACTER 32
THE FIVE