The Education of the Child | Page 9

boys
would prefer corporal punishment to the loss of their favourite
possession. But only the loss of it will be a real education through
experience of one of the inevitable rules of life, an experience which
cannot be too strongly impressed.
We hear parents who have begun with Spencer and then have taken to
corporal punishment declare that when children are too small to repair
the clothing which they have torn there must be some other kind of
punishment. But at that age they should not be punished at all for such
things. They should have such simple and strong clothes that they can

play freely in them. Later on, when they can be really careful, the
natural punishment would be to have the child remain at home if he is
careless, has spotted his clothes, or torn them. He must be shown that
he must help to put his clothes in good condition again, or that he will
be compelled to buy what he has destroyed carelessly with money
earned by himself. If the child is not careful, he must stay at home,
when ordinarily allowed to go out, or eat alone if he is too late for
meals. It may be said that there are simple means by which all the
important habits of social life may become a second nature. But it is not
possible in all cases to apply Spencer's method. The natural
consequences occasionally endanger the health of the child, or
sometimes are too slow in their action. If it seems necessary to interfere
directly, such action must be consistent, quick, and immutable. How is
it that the child learns very soon that fire burns? Because fire does so
always. But the mother who at one time strikes, at another threatens, at
another bribes the child, first forbids and then immediately after
permits some action; who does not carry out her threat, does not
compel obedience, but constantly gabbles and scolds; who sometimes
acts in one way and just as often in another, has not learned the
effective educational methods of the fire.
The old-fashioned strict training that in its crude way gave to the
character a fixed type rested on its consistent qualities. It was
consistently strict, not as at present a lax hesitation between all kinds of
pedagogical methods and psychological opinions, in which the child is
thrown about here and there like a ball, in the hands of grown people; at
one time pushed forward, then laughed at, then pushed aside, only to be
brought back again, kissed till it, is disgusted, first ordered about, and
then coaxed. A grown man would become insane if joking Titans
treated him for a single day as a child is treated for a year. A child
should not be ordered about, but should be just as courteously
addressed as a grown person in order that he may learn courtesy. A
child should never be pushed into notice, never compelled to endure
caresses, never overwhelmed with kisses, which ordinarily torment him
and are often the cause of sexual hyperaesthesia. The child's
demonstrations of affection should be reciprocated when they are
sincere, but one's own demonstrations should be reserved for special

occasions. This is one of the many excellent maxims of training that are
disregarded. Nor should the child be forced to express regret in begging
pardon and the like. This is excellent training for hypocrisy. A small
child once had been rude to his elder brother and was placed upon a
chair to repent his fault. When the mother after a time asked if he was
sorry, he answered, "Yes," with emphasis, but as the mother saw a
mutinous sparkle in his eyes she felt impelled to ask, "Sorry for what?"
and the youngster broke out, "Sorry that I did not call him a liar
besides." The mother was wise enough on this occasion, and ever after,
to give up insisting on repentance.
Spontaneous penitence is full of significance, it is a deeply felt desire
for pardon. But an artificial emotion is always and everywhere
worthless. Are you not sorry? Does it make no difference to you that
your mother is ill, your brother dead, your father away from home?
Such expressions are often used as an appeal to the emotions of
children. But children have a right to have feelings, or not have them,
and to have them as undisturbed as grown people. The same holds good
of their sympathies and antipathies. The sensitive feelings of children
are constantly injured by lack of consideration on the part of grown
people, their easily stimulated aversions are constantly being brought
out. But the sufferings of children through the crudeness of their elders
belong to an unwritten chapter of child psychology. Just as there are
few better methods of training