The Ebb-Tide | Page 7

in a semi-detached villa." Well,
that struck me as reasonable. "All right," I said; "and do you mean to
tell me I can get on that carpet and go straight to London, England?" I
said, "London, England," captain, because he seemed to have been so
long in your part of the world. "In the crack of a whip," said he. I
figured up the time. What is the difference between Papeete and
London, captain?'
'Taking Greenwich and Point Venus, nine hours, odd minutes and

seconds,' replied the mariner.
'Well, that's about what I made it,' resumed Herrick, 'about nine hours.
Calling this three in the morning, I made out I would drop into London
about noon; and the idea tickled me immensely. "There's only one
bother," I said, "I haven't a copper cent. It would be a pity to go to
London and not buy the morning Standard." "O!" said he, "you don't
realise the conveniences of this carpet. You see this pocket? you've
only got to stick your hand in, and you pull it out filled with
sovereigns."
'Double-eagles, wasn't iff inquired the captain.
'That was what it was!' cried Herrick. 'I thought they seemed unusually
big, and I remember now I had to go to the money-changers at Charing
Cross and get English silver.'
'O, you went there?' said the clerk. 'Wot did you do? Bet you had a B.
and S.!'
'Well, you see, it was just as the old boy said--like the cut of a whip,'
said Herrick. 'The one minute I was here on the beach at three in the
morning, the next I was in front of the Golden Cross at midday. At first
I was dazzled, and covered my eyes, and there didn't seem the smallest
change; the roar of the Strand and the roar of the reef were like the
same: hark to it now, and you can hear the cabs and buses rolling and
the streets resound! And then at last I could look about, and there was
the old place, and no mistake! With the statues in the square, and St
Martin's- in-the-Fields, and the bobbies, and the sparrows, and the
hacks; and I can't tell you what I felt like. I felt like crying, I believe, or
dancing, or jumping clean over the Nelson Column. I was like a fellow
caught up out of Hell and flung down into the dandiest part of Heaven.
Then I spotted for a hansom with a spanking horse. "A shilling for
yourself, if you're there in twenty minutes!" said I to the jarvey. He
went a good pace, though of course it was a trifle to the carpet; and in
nineteen minutes and a half I was at the door.'
'What door?' asked the captain.
'Oh, a house I know of,' returned Herrick.
'But it was a public-house!' cried the clerk--only these were not his
words. 'And w'y didn't you take the carpet there instead of trundling in
a growler?'
'I didn't want to startle a quiet street,' said the narrator.

'Bad form. And besides, it was a hansom.'
'Well, and what did you do next?' inquired the captain.
'Oh, I went in,' said Herrick.
'The old folks?' asked the captain.
'That's about it,' said the other, chewing a grass.
'Well, I think you are about the poorest 'and at a yarn!' cried the clerk.
'Crikey, it's like Ministering Children! I can tell you there would be
more beer and skittles about my little jaunt. I would go and have a B.
and S. for luck. Then I would get a big ulster with astrakhan fur, and
take my cane and do the la-de-la down Piccadilly. Then I would go to a
slap-up restaurant, and have green peas, and a bottle of fizz, and a
chump chop--Oh! and I forgot, I'd 'ave some devilled whitebait
first--and green gooseberry tart, and 'ot coffee, and some of that form of
vice in big bottles with a seal--Benedictine--that's the bloomin' nyme!
Then I'd drop into a theatre, and pal on with some chappies, and do the
dancing rooms and bars, and that, and wouldn't go 'ome till morning,
till daylight doth appear. And the next day I'd have water-cresses, 'am,
muffin, and fresh butter; wouldn't I just, O my!'
The clerk was interrupted by a fresh attack of coughing.
'Well, now, I'll tell you what I would do,' said the captain: 'I would have
none of your fancy rigs with the man driving from the mizzen
cross-trees, but a plain fore-and-aft hack cab of the highest registered
tonnage. First of all, I would bring up at the market and get a turkey
and a sucking-pig. Then I'd go to a wine merchant's and get a dozen of
champagne, and a dozen of some sweet wine, rich and sticky