The Double-Dealer | Page 9

you come up to
me--nay, prithee, Careless, be instructed. Suppose, as I was saying, you
come up to me holding your sides, and laughing as if you
would--well--I look grave, and ask the cause of this immoderate mirth.
You laugh on still, and are not able to tell me, still I look grave, not so
much as smile.
CARE. Smile, no, what the devil should you smile at, when you
suppose I can't tell you!
BRISK. Pshaw, pshaw, prithee don't interrupt me. But I tell you, you
shall tell me at last, but it shall be a great while first.
CARE. Well, but prithee don't let it be a great while, because I long to
have it over.
BRISK. Well then, you tell me some good jest or some very witty thing,
laughing all the while as if you were ready to die, and I hear it, and
look thus. Would not you be disappointed?
CARE. No; for if it were a witty thing I should not expect you to
understand it.
LORD FROTH. Oh, foy, Mr. Careless, all the world allows Mr. Brisk
to have wit; my wife says he has a great deal. I hope you think her a
judge.
BRISK. Pooh, my lord, his voice goes for nothing; I can't tell how to
make him apprehend. Take it t'other way. Suppose I say a witty thing to

you?
CARE. Then I shall be disappointed indeed.
MEL. Let him alone, Brisk, he is obstinately bent not to be instructed.
BRISK. I'm sorry for him, the deuce take me.
MEL. Shall we go to the ladies, my lord?
LORD FROTH. With all my heart; methinks we are a solitude without
'em.
MEL. Or what say you to another bottle of champagne?
LORD FROTH. Oh, for the universe not a drop more, I beseech you.
Oh, intemperate! I have a flushing in my face already. [Takes out a
pocket-glass and looks in it.]
BRISK. Let me see, let me see, my lord, I broke my glass that was in
the lid of my snuff-box. Hum! Deuce take me, I have encouraged a
pimple here too. [Takes the glass and looks.]
LORD FROTH. Then you must mortify him with a patch; my wife
shall supply you. Come, gentlemen, ALLONS, here is company
coming.
SCENE VI.
LADY TOUCHWOOD and MASKWELL.
LADY TOUCH. I'll hear no more. You are false and ungrateful; come,
I know you false.
MASK. I have been frail, I confess, madam, for your ladyship's service.
LADY TOUCH. That I should trust a man whom I had known betray
his friend!

MASK. What friend have I betrayed? or to whom?
LADY TOUCH. Your fond friend Mellefont, and to me; can you deny
it?
MASK. I do not.
LADY TOUCH. Have you not wronged my lord, who has been a father
to you in your wants, and given you being? Have you not wronged him
in the highest manner, in his bed?
MASK. With your ladyship's help, and for your service, as I told you
before. I can't deny that neither. Anything more, madam?
LADY TOUCH. More! Audacious villain! Oh, what's more, is most
my shame. Have you not dishonoured me?
MASK. No, that I deny; for I never told in all my life: so that
accusation's answered; on to the next.
LADY TOUCH. Death, do you dally with my passion? Insolent devil!
But have a care,--provoke me not; for, by the eternal fire, you shall not
'scape my vengeance. Calm villain! How unconcerned he stands,
confessing treachery and ingratitude! Is there a vice more black? Oh, I
have excuses thousands for my faults; fire in my temper, passions in
my soul, apt to ev'ry provocation, oppressed at once with love, and with
despair. But a sedate, a thinking villain, whose black blood runs
temperately bad, what excuse can clear?
MASK. Will you be in temper, madam? I would not talk not to be
heard. I have been [she walks about disordered] a very great rogue for
your sake, and you reproach me with it; I am ready to be a rogue still,
to do you service; and you are flinging conscience and honour in my
face, to rebate my inclinations. How am I to behave myself? You know
I am your creature, my life and fortune in your power; to disoblige you
brings me certain ruin. Allow it I would betray you, I would not be a
traitor to myself: I don't pretend to honesty, because you know I am a
rascal; but I would convince you from the necessity of my being firm to

you.
LADY TOUCH. Necessity, impudence! Can no gratitude incline you,
no obligations touch you? Have not my fortune and my person been
subjected to your pleasure? Were you not in the nature of a servant, and
have not