The Doctors Dilemma | Page 2

right angles to the console, and parallel to the fireplace.
A chair stands between the couch and the windowed wall. The
windows have green Venetian blinds and rep curtains; and there is a
gasalier; but it is a convert to electric lighting. The wall paper and
carpets are mostly green, coeval with the gasalier and the Venetian

blinds. The house, in fact, was so well furnished in the middle of the
XIXth century that it stands unaltered to this day and is still quite
presentable.
EMMY [entering and immediately beginning to dust the couch] Theres
a lady bothering me to see the doctor.
REDPENNY [distracted by the interruption] Well, she cant see the
doctor. Look here: whats the use of telling you that the doctor cant take
any new patients, when the moment a knock comes to the door, in you
bounce to ask whether he can see somebody?
EMMY. Who asked you whether he could see somebody?
REDPENNY. You did.
EMMY. I said theres a lady bothering me to see the doctor. That isnt
asking. Its telling.
REDPENNY. Well, is the lady bothering you any reason for you to
come bothering me when I'm busy?
EMMY. Have you seen the papers?
REDPENNY. No.
EMMY. Not seen the birthday honors?
REDPENNY [beginning to swear] What the--
EMMY. Now, now, ducky!
REDPENNY. What do you suppose I care about the birthday honors?
Get out of this with your chattering. Dr Ridgeon will be down before I
have these letters ready. Get out.
EMMY. Dr Ridgeon wont never be down any more, young man.
She detects dust on the console and is down on it immediately.
REDPENNY [jumping up and following her] What?
EMMY. He's been made a knight. Mind you dont go Dr Ridgeoning
him in them letters. Sir Colenso Ridgeon is to be his name now.
REDPENNY. I'm jolly glad.
EMMY. I never was so taken aback. I always thought his great
discoveries was fudge (let alone the mess of them) with his drops of
blood and tubes full of Maltese fever and the like. Now he'll have a rare
laugh at me.
REDPENNY. Serve you right! It was like your cheek to talk to him
about science. [He returns to his table and resumes his writing].
EMMY. Oh, I dont think much of science; and neither will you when
youve lived as long with it as I have. Whats on my mind is answering

the door. Old Sir Patrick Cullen has been here already and left first
congratulations--hadnt time to come up on his way to the hospital, but
was determined to be first--coming back, he said. All the rest will be
here too: the knocker will be going all day. What Im afraid of is that the
doctor'll want a footman like all the rest, now that he's Sir Colenso.
Mind: dont you go putting him up to it, ducky; for he'll never have any
comfort with anybody but me to answer the door. I know who to let in
and who to keep out. And that reminds me of the poor lady. I think he
ought to see her. Shes just the kind that puts him in a good temper. [She
dusts Redpenny's papers].
REDPENNY. I tell you he cant see anybody. Do go away, Emmy. How
can I work with you dusting all over me like this?
EMMY. I'm not hindering you working--if you call writing letters
working. There goes the bell. [She looks out of the window]. A doctor's
carriage. Thats more congratulations. [She is going out when Sir
Colenso Ridgeon enters]. Have you finished your two eggs, sonny?
RIDGEON. Yes.
EMMY. Have you put on your clean vest?
RIDGEON. Yes.
EMMY. Thats my ducky diamond! Now keep yourself tidy and dont go
messing about and dirtying your hands: the people are coming to
congratulate you. [She goes out].
Sir Colenso Ridgeon is a man of fifty who has never shaken off his
youth. He has the off-handed manner and the little audacities of address
which a shy and sensitive man acquires in breaking himself in to
intercourse with all sorts and conditions of men. His face is a good deal
lined; his movements are slower than, for instance, Redpenny's; and his
flaxen hair has lost its lustre; but in figure and manner he is more the
young man than the titled physician. Even the lines in his face are those
of overwork and restless scepticism, perhaps partly of curiosity and
appetite, rather than of age. Just at present the announcement of his
knighthood in the morning papers makes him specially self- conscious,
and consequently specially off-hand with Redpenny.
RIDGEON. Have you seen the papers? Youll have to alter the name in
the letters if you havnt.
REDPENNY. Emmy has just told me. I'm awfully glad. I--