The Daughter of Brahma | Page 8

immovable, with her white
face still turned to the light. "I have hoped against hope for twelve
years," she went on quietly, "but it would be absurd to deceive myself
any longer. I must face the truth. I have brought into the world one of
those mediocrities for which the world has no use. Fortunately, I am
rich enough to take the burden upon my own shoulders. But David
must go to England."
The judge scarcely seemed to be listening.
"You are unjust," he burst out, "and your theories are are--I don't know
what they are but it's all infernally cruel. You don't know what is in him
yet. And, after all, you are responsible. He is your son and he loves
you--"
"Love does not necessarily beget love not in me. Where I love I must
respect yes, one can respect a child. I have respected a dog. I once had
a foxterrier who attacked a cobra that it found in my room. It hadn't a
chance, and was killed for its daring, but I respected the little animal. I
can't respect my son. I know I am hurting you. I am sorry. You say I
am cruel, but it is life that is cruel, not I. But we have had enough of
theorising. I cannot convince you or you me. Our theories are our

characters, and we cannot change either the one or the other, especially
at our time of life. And now I want your help."
The judge bowed without speaking.
"David must go to a school in England. As I have said, I do not want to
accompany him, and I have no one to help me in my choice. My
brother is an Etonian, and would want him to follow in his steps; but
that is out of the question. All our family have been at Eton, and David
would suffer in the comparison. Besides, he is not strong enough. He
must go to some private place where there will be some maternal soul
to mother him. Do you know of anything suitable?"
"Do you take me for one of the 'unfit'?" the judge asked, with a wry
smile. "As it happens, I am from Winchester."
"I know. Any one can see that. I only thought, in your wider
experience--"
"I have a brother who interests himself in educational matters. He
might advise me. Shall I write to him?"
"I should be immensely grateful. I want the matter decided as soon as
possible. Mrs. Chichester is taking her youngest daughter, Diana, to
England after Christmas, and has promised to let David accompany her.
He will be in good hands. In the holidays he will stay with my brother.
I should have preferred it to be otherwise, but their meeting is
inevitable. You will really help me?"
"I will do all I can." He was silent a moment. "And afterwards?"
"You mean when he has left school? That is something which only time
can decide. His lameness excludes an army career; he is not clever
enough for either the Indian Civil or any of the other services. The
choice in our family is limited. Perhaps he will have developed some
harmless hobby and end as a country gentleman. He will have money
enough. You see, I am conscious of my responsibility. But we have
been serious long enough, and you haven't even had your tea. I have

been too absorbed in myself to be hospitable." She turned towards the
neglected tea-table, but he held but his hand.
"Don't bother--I mean not about me. I don't want anything. I only came
to see you, and now I must be off. I have any amount of work and--"
She looked up at him and smiled, and he stopped short. This time the
smile was in her eyes, and the change lent her face a startling
fascination. No man or woman had ever seen it without feeling that, in
some mysterious way, she had laid her hand on an innermost and
unsuspected chord in their being and consciously played upon it. The
judge was no exception. He crimsoned like a boy.
"It is unsafe to trust even one's best friend," she said. "I have shown
you myself and I have made you hate me."
It was not the first time she had used the word in their conversation
together,and she did not use it lightly.
The judge shook his head.
"I couldn't if I tried," he answered. "You know I couldn't."
"And yet you are the only marriageable man on the station who hasn't
done me the honour to suggest that I should become his wife!" she
retorted.
They looked at each other and laughed, and the tension was gone. The
judge's features resumed their normal expression of bluff good-nature.
"My