The Contrast | Page 6

LETITIA
Why, you know that old Mr. John-Richard-RobertJacob

-Isaac-Abraham-Cornelius Van Dumpling, Billy
Dimple's father (for
he has thought fit to soften his
name, as well as manners, during his
English tour),
was the most intimate friend of Maria's father. The

old folks, about a year before Mr. Van Dumpling's
death, proposed
this match: the young folks were
accordingly introduced, and told
they must love one
another. Billy was then a good-natured,
decent-dressing
young fellow, with a little dash of the coxcomb,

such as our young fellows of fortune usually have. At
this time, I
really believe she thought she loved him;
and had they been married,
I doubt not they
might have jogged on, to the end of the chapter, a

good kind of a sing-song lack-a-daysaical life, as other
honest
married folks do.
CHARLOTTE
Why did they not then marry?
LETITIA
Upon the death of his father, Billy went to England
to see the world
and rub off a little of the patroon
rust. During his absence, Maria, like
a good girl, to
keep herself constant to her nown true-love, avoided

company, and betook herself, for her amusement, to
her books, and
her dear Billy's letters. But, alas!
how many ways has the
mischievous demon of inconstancy
of stealing into a woman's heart!
Her love was
destroyed by the very means she took to support it.
CHARLOTTE
How?--Oh! I have it--some likely young beau
found the way to her

study.
LETITIA
Be patient, Charlotte; your head so runs upon
beaux. Why, she read
Sir Charles Grandison, Clarissa
Harlow, Shenstone, and the
Sentimental Journey; and
between whiles, as I said, Billy's letters.
But, as her
taste improved, her love declined. The contrast was
so
striking betwixt the good sense of her books and
the flimsiness of her
love-letters, that she discovered
she had unthinkingly engaged her
hand without her
heart; and then the whole transaction, managed by

the old folks, now appeared so unsentimental, and
looked so like
bargaining for a bale of goods, that she
found she ought to have
rejected, according to every
rule of romance, even the man of her
choice, if imposed
upon her in that manner. Clary Harlow
would
have scorned such a match.
CHARLOTTE
Well, how was it on Mr. Dimple's return? Did he
meet a more
favourable reception than his letters?
LETITIA
Much the same. She spoke of him with respect
abroad, and with
contempt in her closet. She watched
his conduct and conversation,
and found that he had
by travelling, acquired the wickedness of
Lovelace
without his wit, and the politeness of Sir Charles Grandison

without his generosity. The ruddy youth, who
washed his face at
the cistern every morning, and
swore and looked eternal love and
constancy, was now
metamorphosed into a flippant, palid, polite beau,
who
devotes the morning to his toilet, reads a few pages of

Chesterfield's letters, and then minces out, to put the
infamous
principles in practice upon every woman he
meets.

CHARLOTTE
But, if she is so apt at conjuring up these sentimental
bugbears, why
does she not discard him at
once?
LETITIA
Why, she thinks her word too sacred to be trifled
with. Besides, her
father, who has a great respect
for the memory of his deceased friend,
is ever telling
her how he shall renew his years in their union,
and
repeating the dying injunctions of old Van
Dumpling.
CHARLOTTE
A mighty pretty story! And so you would make
me believe that the
sensible Maria would give up
Dumpling manor, and the
all-accomplished Dimple as
a husband, for the absurd, ridiculous
reason, forsooth,
because she despises and abhors him. Just as if a

lady could not be privileged to spend a man's fortune,
ride in his
carriage, be called after his name, and call
him her nown dear lovee
when she wants money, without
loving and respecting the great
he-creature. Oh!
my dear girl, you are a monstrous prude.
LETITIA
I don't say what I would do; I only intimate how
I suppose she wishes
to act.
CHARLOTTE
No, no, no! A fig for sentiment. If she breaks, or
wishes to break,
with Mr. Dimple, depend upon it, she
has some other man in her eye.
A woman rarely discards
one lover until she is sure of another. Letitia

little thinks what a clue I have to Dimple's conduct.
The generous
man submits to render himself disgusting
to Maria, in order that she
may leave him at liberty
to address me. I must change the subject.


[Aside, and rings a bell.
Enter SERVANT.
Frank, order the horses to.--Talking of marriage,
did you hear that
Sally Bloomsbury is going to be
married next week to Mr. Indigo, the
rich Carolinian?
LETITIA
Sally Bloomsbury married!--why, she is not yet in
her teens.
CHARLOTTE
I do not know how that is, but you may depend
upon it, 'tis a done
affair. I have it from the best authority.
There is my aunt Wyerly's
Hannah. You
know Hannah; though a black, she is a wench that

was never caught in a lie in her life. Now, Hannah
has a brother who
courts Sarah, Mrs. Catgut the milliner'
s girl, and she told Hannah's
brother, and Hannah,
who, as I said before, is a girl of undoubted

veracity, told it directly to me, that Mrs. Catgut was
making a