The Congo Rovers | Page 4

the moment that I decently could I hastened away to try it on.
The breeches were certainly rather wrinkly above the knees, and the
jacket was somewhat uncomfortably tight across the chest when
buttoned over; it also pinched me a good deal under the arm-pits, whilst
the sleeves exhibited a trifle too much--some six inches or so--of my
wristbands and shirt-sleeves; and when I looked at myself in the glass I
found that there was a well-defined ridge of loose cloth running across
the back from shoulder to shoulder. With these trifling exceptions,
however, I thought the suit fitted me fairly well, and I hastened down-
stairs to exhibit myself to my sister Eva. To my intense surprise and
indignation she no sooner saw me than she burst into an uncontrollable
fit of laughter, and was heartless enough to declare that I looked "a
perfect fright." Thoroughly disgusted with such unsisterly conduct I
mustered all my dignity, and without condescending to ask for an
explanation walked in contemptuous silence out of the room and the
house.
A regimental band was to play that afternoon on Southsea Common,
and thither I accordingly decided to direct my steps. There were a good
many people about the streets, and I had not gone very far before I
made the discovery that everybody was in high good-humour about
something or other. The people I met wore, almost without exception,
genial smiling countenances, and many a peal of hearty laughter rang
out from hilarious groups who had already passed me. I felt anxious to
know what it was that thus set all Portsmouth laughing, and glanced
round to see if I could discover an acquaintance of whom I might
inquire; but, as usual in such cases, was unsuccessful. When I reached

the Common I found, as I expected I should, a large and fashionably
dressed crowd, with a good sprinkling of naval and military uniforms,
listening to the strains of the band. Here, for the first five minutes or so,
I failed to notice anything unusual in the behaviour of the people; but
the humorous item of news must have reached them almost
simultaneously with my own arrival upon the scene, for very soon I
detected on the faces of those who passed me the same amused smile
which I had before encountered in the streets. I stood well back out of
the thick of the crowd; both because I could hear the music better, and
also to afford any friend of mine who might chance to be present an
opportunity to see me in my imposing new uniform.
It was whilst I was standing thus in the most easy and nonchalant
attitude I could assume that a horrible discovery forced itself upon me.
I happened to be regarding with a certain amount of languid interest a
couple of promenaders, consisting of a very lovely girl and a somewhat
foppish ensign, when I suddenly caught the eye of the latter fixed upon
me. He raised his eye-glass to his eye, and, in the coolest manner in the
world, deliberately surveyed me through it, when, in an instant, a broad
smile of amusement--the smile which I by this time knew so well--
overspread his otherwise inanimate features. I glanced hurriedly behind
me to see if I could discover the cause of his risibility, and, failing to do
so, turned round again, just in time to see him, with his eye- glass still
bearing straight in my direction, bend his head and speak a few words
to his fair companion. Thereupon she, too, glanced in my direction,
looked steadfastly at me for a moment, and then burst into an
uncontrollable fit of laughter which she vainly strove to stifle in her
pocket-handkerchief. For a second or two I was utterly lost in
astonishment at this unaccountable behaviour, and then all the hideous
truth thrust itself upon me. They were laughing at me. Having at length
fully realised this I turned haughtily away and at once left the ground.
I hurried homeward in a most unenviable state of mind, with the
conviction every moment forcing itself more obtrusively upon me, that
for some inconceivable reason I was the laughing-stock of everybody I
met, when, just as I turned once more into the High Street I observed
two midshipmen approaching on my own side of the way, and some

half a dozen yards or so behind them a certain Miss Smith, a parlour
boarder in the ladies' seminary opposite my father's house--a damsel
not more than six or seven years my senior, with whom I was slightly
acquainted, and for whom I had long cherished a secret but ardent
passion.
With that sensitiveness which is so promptly evoked by even the bare
suspicion of ridicule I furtively watched the two "young