The Confessions of Saint Augustine | Page 7

its limbs, ornamenting its
proportions, and, for its general good and safety, implanting in it all vital functions, Thou
commandest me to praise Thee in these things, to confess unto Thee, and sing unto Thy
name, Thou most Highest. For Thou art God, Almighty and Good, even hadst Thou done
nought but only this, which none could do but Thou: whose Unity is the mould of all
things; who out of Thy own fairness makest all things fair; and orderest all things by Thy
law. This age then, Lord, whereof I have no remembrance, which I take on others' word,
and guess from other infants that I have passed, true though the guess be, I am yet loth to
count in this life of mine which I live in this world. For no less than that which I spent in
my mother's womb, is it hid from me in the shadows of forgetfulness. But if I was shapen
in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me, where, I beseech Thee, O my God,
where, Lord, or when, was I Thy servant guiltless? But, lo! that period I pass by; and
what have I now to do with that, of which I can recall no vestige?
Passing hence from infancy, I came to boyhood, or rather it came to me, displacing
infancy. Nor did that depart,- (for whither went it?)- and yet it was no more. For I was no
longer a speechless infant, but a speaking boy. This I remember; and have since observed
how I learned to speak. It was not that my elders taught me words (as, soon after, other
learning) in any set method; but I, longing by cries and broken accents and various
motions of my limbs to express my thoughts, that so I might have my will, and yet unable
to express all I willed, or to whom I willed, did myself, by the understanding which Thou,
my God, gavest me, practise the sounds in my memory. When they named any thing, and
as they spoke turned towards it, I saw and remembered that they called what they would
point out by the name they uttered. And that they meant this thing and no other was plain
from the motion of their body, the natural language, as it were, of all nations, expressed
by the countenance, glances of the eye, gestures of the limbs, and tones of the voice,
indicating the affections of the mind, as it pursues, possesses, rejects, or shuns. And thus
by constantly hearing words, as they occurred in various sentences, I collected gradually
for what they stood; and having broken in my mouth to these signs, I thereby gave
utterance to my will. Thus I exchanged with those about me these current signs of our
wills, and so launched deeper into the stormy intercourse of human life, yet depending on

parental authority and the beck of elders.
O God my God, what miseries and mockeries did I now experience, when obedience to
my teachers was proposed to me, as proper in a boy, in order that in this world I might
prosper, and excel in tongue-science, which should serve to the "praise of men," and to
deceitful riches. Next I was put to school to get learning, in which I (poor wretch) knew
not what use there was; and yet, if idle in learning, I was beaten. For this was judged right
by our forefathers; and many, passing the same course before us, framed for us weary
paths, through which we were fain to pass; multiplying toil and grief upon the sons of
Adam. But, Lord, we found that men called upon Thee, and we learnt from them to think
of Thee (according to our powers) as of some great One, who, though hidden from our
senses, couldest hear and help us. For so I began, as a boy, to pray to Thee, my aid and
refuge; and broke the fetters of my tongue to call on Thee, praying Thee, though small,
yet with no small earnestness, that I might not be beaten at school. And when Thou
heardest me not (not thereby giving me over to folly), my elders, yea my very parents,
who yet wished me no ill, mocked my stripes, my then great and grievous ill.
Is there, Lord, any of soul so great, and cleaving to Thee with so intense affection (for a
sort of stupidity will in a way do it); but is there any one who, from cleaving devoutly to
Thee, is endued with so great a spirit, that he can think as lightly of the racks and hooks
and other torments (against which, throughout all lands, men call on Thee with extreme
dread), mocking at those by whom they are feared most bitterly,