The Complete Works of Artemus Ward, part 6 | Page 7

he caused the curtain to be drawn at one place and not at another. Probably he thought it to be one of his good jokes that it should shut in the picture just when there was no reason for its being used.)
I went to Great Salt Lake City by way of California? (That is, he went by steamer from New York to Aspinwall, thence across the Isthmus of Panama by railway, and then from Panama to California by another steamboat. A journey which then occupied about three weeks.)
I went to California on the steamer "Ariel."
This is the steamer "Ariel." (Picture.)
Oblige me by calmly gazing on the steamer "Ariel"--and when you go to California be sure and go on some other steamer-- because the Ariel isn't a very good one.
When I reached the "Ariel"--at pier No. 4--New York--I found the passengers in a state of great confusion about their things--which were being thrown around by the ship's porters in a manner at once damaging and idiotic.--So great was the excitement--my fragile form was smashed this way--and jammed that way--till finally I was shoved into a stateroom which was occupied by two middle-aged females--who said, "Base man--leave us--O leave us!"--I left them--Oh--I left them!
We reach Acapulco on the coast of Mexico in due time. Nothing of special interest occurred at Acapulco--only some of the Mexican ladies are very beautiful. They all have brilliant black hair--hair "black as starless night"--if I may quote from the "Family Herald". It don't curl.--A Mexican lady's hair never curls--it is straight as an Indian's. Some people's hair won't curl under any circumstances.--My hair won't curl under two shillings. (Artemus always wore his hair straight until his severe illness in Salt Lake City. So much of it dropped off during his recovery that he became dissatisfied with the long meagre appearance his countenance presented when he surveyed it in the looking-glass. After his lecture at the Salt Lake City Theatre he did not lecture again until we had crossed the Rocky Mountains and arrived at Denver City, the capital of Colorado. On the afternoon he was to lecture there I met him coming out of an ironmonger's store with a small parcel in his hand. "I want you, old fellow," he said; "I have been all around the city for them, and I've got them at last." "Got what?" I asked. "A pair of curling-tongs. I am going to have my hair curled to lecture in to-night. I mean to cross the plains in curls. Come home with me and try to curl it for me. I don't want to go to any idiot of a barber to be laughed at." I played the part of friseur. Subsequently he became his own "curlist," as he phrased it. >From that day forth Artemus was a curly-haired man.)
(Picture of) The great thoroughfare of the imperial city of the Pacific Coast (with a sign saying "Artemus Ward, Platts Hall every evening.")
The Chinese form a large element in the population of San Francisco--and I went to the Chinese Theatre.
A Chinese play often lasts two months. Commencing at the hero's birth, it is cheerfully conducted from week to week till he is either killed or married.
The night I was there a Chinese comic vocalist sang a Chinese comic song. It took him six weeks to finish it--but as my time was limited, I went away at the expiration of 215 verses. There were 11,000 verses to this song--the chorus being "Tural lural dural, ri fol day"--which was repeated twice at the end of each verse--making--as you will at once see--the appalling number of 22,000 "tural lural dural, ri fol days"--and the man still lives.
(Picture of) Virginia City--in the bright new State of Nevada. (Virginia City itself is built on a ledge cut out of the side of Mount Davidson, which rises some 9000 feet above the sea level--the city being about half way up its side. To Artemus Ward the wild character of the scenery, the strange manners of the red-shirted citizens, and the odd developments of the life met with in that uncouth mountain-town were all replete with interest. We stayed there about a week. During the time of our stay he explored every part of the place, met many old friends from the Eastern States, and formed many new acquaintances, with some of whom acquaintance ripened into warm friendship. Among the latter was Mr. Samuel L. Clemens, now well known as "Mark Twain." He was then sub-editing one of the three papers published daily in Virginia--"The Territorial Enterprise." Artemus detected in the writings of Mark Twain the indications of great humorous power, and strongly advised the writer to seek a better field for his talents. Since then he has become a well-known lecturer and author. With Mark Twain, Artemus made a