The Complete Plays | Page 7

You were n't quite were you?
JACK. [Smiling pallidly.] I'm awfully sorry. If there's anything I can
do----
BARTHWICK. Do? You can restore this property, I suppose.
JACK. I'll go and have a look, but I really don't think I 've got it.
[He goes out hurriedly. And BARTHWICK, placing a chair, motions to
the visitor to sit; then, with pursed lips, he stands and eyes her fixedly.
She sits, and steals a look at him; then turns away, and, drawing up her

veil, stealthily wipes her eyes. And Jack comes back.]
JACK. [Ruefully holding out the empty reticule.] Is that the thing? I 've
looked all over--I can't find the purse anywhere. Are you sure it was
there?
UNKNOWN. [Tearfully.] Sure? Of course I'm sure. A crimson silk
purse. It was all the money I had.
JACK. I really am awfully sorry--my head's so jolly bad. I 've asked the
butler, but he has n't seen it.
UNKNOWN. I must have my money----
JACK. Oh! Of course--that'll be all right; I'll see that that's all right.
How much?
UNKNOWN. [Sullenly.] Seven pounds-twelve--it's all I 've got in the
world.
JACK. That'll be all right; I'll--send you acheque.
UNKNOWN. [Eagerly.] No; now, please. Give me what was in my
purse; I've got to pay my rent this morning. They won't' give me
another day; I'm a fortnight behind already.
JACK. [Blankly.] I'm awfully sorry; I really have n't a penny in my
pocket.
[He glances stealthily at BARTHWICK.]
UNKNOWN. [Excitedly.] Come I say you must--it's my money, and
you took it. I 'm not going away without it. They 'll turn me out of my
place.
JACK. [Clasping his head.] But I can't give you what I have n't got.
Don't I tell you I have n't a beastly cent.
UNKNOWN. [Tearing at her handkerchief.] Oh! do give it me! [She

puts her hands together in appeal; then, with sudden fierceness.] If you
don't I'll summons you. It's stealing, that's what it is!
BARTHWICK. [Uneasily.] One moment, please. As a matter of---er-
principle, I shall settle this claim. [He produces money.] Here is eight
pounds; the extra will cover the value of the purse and your cab fares. I
need make no comment--no thanks are necessary.
[Touching the bell, he holds the door ajar in silence. The unknown lady
stores the money in her reticule, she looks from JACK to
BARTHWICK, and her face is quivering faintly with a smile. She
hides it with her hand, and steals away. Behind her BARTHWICK
shuts the door.]
BARTHWICK. [With solemnity.] H'm! This is nice thing to happen!
JACK. [Impersonally.] What awful luck!
BARTHWICK. So this is the way that forty pounds has gone! One
thing after another! Once more I should like to know where you 'd have
been if it had n't been for me! You don't seem to have any principles.
You--you're one of those who are a nuisance to society; you--you're
dangerous! What your mother would say I don't know. Your conduct,
as far as I can see, is absolutely unjustifiable. It's--it's criminal. Why, a
poor man who behaved as you've done---- d' you think he'd have any
mercy shown him? What you want is a good lesson. You and your sort
are--[he speaks with feeling]--a nuisance to the community. Don't ask
me to help you next time. You're not fit to be helped.
JACK. [Turning upon his sire, with unexpected fierceness.] All right, I
won't then, and see how you like it. You would n't have helped me this
time, I know, if you had n't been scared the thing would get into the
papers. Where are the cigarettes?
BARTHWICK. [Regarding him uneasily.] Well I 'll say no more about
it. [He rings the bell.] I 'll pass it over for this once, but---- [MARLOW
Comes in.] You can clear away.

[He hides his face behind the "Times."]
JACK. [Brightening.] I say, Marlow, where are the cigarettes?
MARLOW. I put the box out with the whisky last night, sir, but this
morning I can't find it anywhere.
JACK. Did you look in my room?
MARLOW. Yes, sir; I've looked all over the house. I found two Nestor
ends in the tray this morning, so you must have been smokin' last night,
sir. [Hesitating.] I 'm really afraid some one's purloined the box.
JACK. [Uneasily.] Stolen it!
BARTHWICK. What's that? The cigarette-box! Is anything else
missing?
MARLOW. No, sir; I 've been through the plate.
BARTHWICK. Was the house all right this morning? None of the
windows open?
MARLOW. No, sir. [Quietly to JACK.] You left your latch-key in the
door last night, sir.
[He hands it back, unseen by BARTHWICK]
JACK. Tst!
BARTHWICK. Who's been in the room this morning?
MARLOW. Me and Wheeler, and Mrs. Jones is all, sir, as