The Clouds | Page 5

to be without a horse. But
I'll go in, and pay no heed to you.
[Exit Phidippides.]
Strep. Though fallen, still I will not lie prostrate: but having prayed to
the gods, I will go myself to the thinking-shop and get taught. How,
then, being an old man, shall I learn the subtleties of refined
disquisitions? I must go. Why thus do I loiter and not knock at the
door?
[Knocks at the door.]
Boy! Little boy!
Disciple (from within). Go to the devil! Who it is that knocked at the
door?

Strep. Strepsiades, the son of Phidon, of Cicynna.
Dis. You are a stupid fellow, by Jove! who have kicked against the
door so very carelessly, and have caused the miscarriage of an idea
which I had conceived.
Strep. Pardon me; for I dwell afar in the country. But tell me the thing
which has been made to miscarry.
Dis. It is not lawful to mention it, except to disciples.
Strep. Tell it, then, to me without fear; for I here am come as a disciple
to the thinking-shop.
Dis. I will tell you; but you must regard these as mysteries. Socrates
lately asked Chaerephon about a flea, how many of its own feet it
jumped; for after having bit the eyebrow of Chaerephon, it leaped away
onto the head of Socrates.
Strep. How then did he measure this?
Dis. Most cleverly. He melted some wax; and then took the flea and
dipped its feet in the wax; and then a pair of Persian slippers stuck to it
when cooled. Having gently loosened these, he measured back the
distance.
Strep. O King Jupiter! What subtlety of thought!
Dis. What then would you say if you heard another contrivance of
Socrates?
Strep. Of what kind? Tell me, I beseech you!
Dis. Chaerephon the Sphettian asked him whether he thought gnats
buzzed through the mouth or the breech.
Strep. What, then, did he say about the gnat?
Dis. He said the intestine of the gnat was narrow and that the wind
went forcibly through it, being slender, straight to the breech; and then
that the rump, being hollow where it is adjacent to the narrow part,
resounded through the violence of the wind.
Strep. The rump of the gnats then is a trumpet! Oh, thrice happy he for
his sharp-sightedness! Surely a defendant might easily get acquitted
who understands the intestine of the gnat.
Dis. But he was lately deprived of a great idea by a lizard.
Strep. In what way? Tell me.
Dis. As he was investigating the courses of the moon and her
revolutions, then as he was gaping upward a lizard in the darkness
dropped upon him from the roof.

Strep. I am amused at a lizard's having dropped on Socrates.
Dis. Yesterday evening there was no supper for us.
Strep. Well. What then did he contrive for provisions?
Dis. He sprinkled fine ashes on the table, and bent a little spit, and then
took it as a pair of compasses and filched a cloak from the Palaestra.
Strep. Why then do we admire Thales? Open open quickly the
thinking-shop, and show to me Socrates as quickly as possible. For I
desire to be a disciple. Come, open the door.
[The door of the thinking-shop opens and the pupils of Socrates are
seen all with their heads fixed on the ground, while Socrates himself is
seen suspended in the air in a basket.]
O Hercules, from what country are these wild beasts?
Dis. What do you wonder at? To what do they seem to you to be like?
Strep. To the Spartans who were taken at Pylos. But why in the world
do these look upon the ground?
Dis. They are in search of the things below the earth.
Strep. Then they are searching for roots. Do not, then, trouble
yourselves about this; for I know where there are large and fine ones.
Why, what are these doing, who are bent down so much?
Dis. These are groping about in darkness under Tartarus.
Strep. Why then does their rump look toward heaven?
Dis. It is getting taught astronomy alone by itself.
[Turning to the pupils.]
But go in, lest he meet with us.
Strep. Not yet, not yet; but let them remain, that I may communicate to
them a little matter of my own.
Dis. It is not permitted to them to remain without in the open air for a
very long time.
[The pupils retire.]
Strep. (discovering a variety of mathematical instruments) Why, what
is this, in the name of heaven? Tell me.
Dis. This is Astronomy.
Strep. But what is this?
Dis. Geometry.
Strep. What then is the use of this?
Dis. To measure out the land.
Strep.What belongs to an allotment?

Dis. No, but the whole earth.
Strep.