The Cinema Murder | Page 3

a little sweep of the
hand. "We know the value of them because we were once accustomed to them, because
we have both since experienced the passionate craving for them or the things they
represent. Chippendale furniture, a Turkey carpet, roses in January, hothouse fruit,
Bartolozzi prints, do not march with an income of fifty pounds a year."
"They do not," she assented equably. "All the things which you see here and which you
have mentioned, are presents."
His forefinger shot out with a sudden vigour towards the photograph.
"From him?"
"From Douglas," she admitted, "from your cousin."

He took the photograph into his hand, looked at it for a moment, and dashed it into the
grate. The glass of the frame was shivered into a hundred pieces. The girl only shrugged
her shoulders. She was holding herself in reserve. As for him, his eyes were hot, there
was a dry choking in his throat. He had passed through many weary and depressed days,
struggling always against the grinding monotony of life and his surroundings. Now for
the first time he felt that there was something worse.
"What does it mean?" he asked once more.
She seemed almost to dilate as she answered him. Her feet were firmly planted upon the
ground. There was a new look in her face, a look of decision. She was more or less a
coward but she felt no fear. She even leaned a little towards him and looked him in the
face.
"It means," she pronounced slowly, "exactly what it seems to mean."
The words conveyed horrible things to him, but he was speechless. He could only wait.
"You and I, Philip," she continued, "have been--well, I suppose we should call it
engaged--for three years. During those three years I have earned, by disgusting and
wearisome labour, just enough to keep me alive in a world which has had nothing to offer
me but ugliness and discomfort and misery. You, as you admitted last time we met, have
done no better. You have lived in a garret and gone often hungry to bed. For three years
this has been going on. All that time I have waited for you to bring something human,
something reasonable, something warm into my life, and you have failed. I have passed,
in those three years, from twenty-three to twenty-six. In three more I shall be in my
thirtieth year--that is to say, the best time of my life will have passed. You see, I have
been thinking, and I have had enough."
He stood quite dumb. The girl's newly-revealed personality seemed to fill the room. He
felt crowded out. She was, at that stage, absolutely mistress of the situation.... She passed
him carelessly by, flung herself into the easy-chair and crossed her legs. As though he
were looking at some person in another world, he realized that she was wearing shoes of
shapely cut, and silk stockings.
"Our engagement," she went on, "was at first the dearest thing in life to me. It could have
been the most wonderful thing in life. I am only an ordinary person with an ordinary
character, but I have the capacity to love unselfishly, and I am at heart as faithful and as
good as any other woman. But there is my birthright. I have had three years of sordid and
utterly miserable life, teaching squalid, dirty, unlovable children things they had much
better not know. I have lived here, here in Detton Magna, among the smuts and the mists,
where the flowers seem withered and even the meadows are stony, where the people are
hard and coarse as their ugly houses, where virtue is ugly, and vice is ugly, and living is
ugly, and death is fearsome. And now you see what I have chosen--not in a moment's
folly, mind, because I am not foolish; not in a moment's passion, either, because until
now the only real feeling I have had in life was for you. But I have chosen, and I hold to
my choice."

"They won't let you stay here," he muttered.
"They needn't," she answered calmly. "There are other ways in which I can at least earn
as much as the miserable pittance doled out to me here. I have avoided even considering
them before. Shall I tell you why? Because I didn't want to face the temptation they might
bring with them. I always knew what would happen if escape became hopeless. It's the
ugliness I can't stand--the ugliness of cheap food, cheap clothes, uncomfortable furniture,
coarse voices, coarse friends if I would have them. How do you suppose I have lived here
these last three years, a teacher in the national schools? Look up and down this long,
dreary street, at the names above the shops, at