The Christmas Dinner | Page 9

how they ever got into the pudding is a mystery.
During this last speech the lid of the wood box has been pushed up,
showing the two brownies, sitting up in the box, and also the top of the
clothes basket, showing the fairies, looking out from the basket.
Walter happens to catch sight of the brownies in the wood box. He
starts up from his chair, and, pointing toward the wood box, cries,
There they are!
What? asks FATHER, looking in the direction to which Walter points.
The brownies, cries WALTER. See! In the wood box.
I don't see anything, says FATHER, except that someone has left the lid
of the wood box open.
Oh, and the fairies, cries GERTRUDE, pointing toward the clothes
basket. There they are. I see them.
MOTHER turns around to look, and then says to Gertrude. There's
nothing there, my dear.
Oh, but there is, GERTRUDE declares. They are in the basket.
Everybody stands up. Gertrude and Walter come around from behind
the table, and look at the fairies and brownies, but they don't go very
close to them, because they are just a little bit scared. At the same time,
Father begins to act rather queerly, looking down at the floor, and
keeping himself up by holding onto the table. Now he goes down on his
hands and knees near the end of the table.
Why, James, exclaims MOTHER, what are you doing? How queerly
you are acting.
FATHER gets up again, as though by a great effort. I don't know what
is the matter, he says: But I have the funniest sort of feeling. It seems as
though I should just have to get down on the floor and crawl under the
table.
Well, that's queer, says MOTHER. Do you know, I begin to feel the
same way myself.
So do I, says GRANDMOTHER.
So do I, says GRANDFATHER.
It's perfectly absurd the way I seem to want to crawl under the table,
FATHER says, and his knees keep bending under him.
But you're surely not going to do it, cries MOTHER.
Oh, no FATHER answers, I'm not going to do it. But all the same he
goes down on his knees again.

But you are doing it, cries MOTHER.
Well, I can't help it, shouts FATHER. Here goes. Watch me come out
at the other end.
If he goes, I've got to follow, says MOTHER, and she gets down on her
hands and knees behind him.
So have I, says GRANDFATHER, and he kneels down behind Mother.
And I, says GRANDMOTHER, and she kneels behind Grandfather.
Then, close behind one another, they go under the table, and when they
come out at the other end, Father and Grandfather have turned into little
boys, and Mother and Grandmother have turned into little girls. While
this is happening the brownies and fairies come out of the box and
basket.
Oh, Jolly! cries WALTER. Is this you, grandfather? He takes hold of
hands with the little boy that Grandfather has turned into, and swings
him around in a circle.
Oh, mother, cries GERTRUDE to one of the little girls, hugging her,
how darling you are. Isn't this fun?
Let's all play some game together, proposes WALTER.
"London Bridge," shall we play that? GERTRUDE suggests. The
others all clap their hands; so she goes on. She says, Walter, you and I
will be the bridge. What shall we choose? They whisper together.
Then the game is played in the usual way. Each captive is offered a
choice between "plum pudding" (that is Gertrude's side) and "ice
cream" (that is Walter's side). At the very moment when the tug-of-war
is about to begin, the outside door opens, and in comes Santa Claus. At
once, they all leave their games, and gather around him.
Oh, Santa Claus, cries WALTER, have you come to play with us?
How can I play with you? answers SANTA CLAUS. I'm far too big,
and far, far too old. One of the fairies has gone to the table, and gotten a
plate of plum pudding, which she now offers to Santa Claus. What's
this? he asks. Plum pudding? Well, I never could resist that. He begins
to eat it. This surely is a first-class pudding. He takes another spoonful.
Why, what's this? A nut in the pudding? A hazel-nut! He stops short,
and holds the plate away from him. A hazel nut! he exclaims again. I
declare, I'd clean forgotten all about that. And now I've gone and eaten
one. Goodness! Is it going to work, I wonder. He puts the plate down
on the table. Yes, I feel it coming. Yes, it's come. I've just got to crawl

under that table. Get out of the way there. I've got to do it. It's