The Choice of Life | Page 8

them in my arms and steep myself in their scent! One by
one, I will tend them till they lift their heads again, I will blend them
cunningly; and, when I have bound the fair sheaf, fate may do its worst!
It is no longer a question of the sanity or insanity of my experiment, or
my wisdom or unwisdom. There is a just action to be accomplished;
and, this time, circumstances favour my plans. In her distress, in her
horror of her present life, all the possibilities of deliverance might have
offered themselves to the girl: she would not have seen them, she
would even have fled from them instinctively, timid as an animal too
long confined. To save her, therefore, chance must take to itself a
substance and a name. Can I not be that chance?
She suffers; I will give her joy. She is tormented; I will give her peace
again. She knows not liberty; through me she will know its rapture.
Once already she has been snatched from death, but, on that day, while

they were carrying Rose to the presbytery, her long, golden tresses
wept along the wayside. But I will carry her where she pleases. She
shall be free and happy; and her hair shall laugh around her face. It
shall help me to light her destiny, for beauty is a beacon for benighted
hearts. Many will try to steer their course towards my Roseline. It will
be easy for her to choose her happiness.
True, I am aware how perilous and uncertain is my experiment. Will it
be possible to efface the evil impress left on that mind and body? How
much of her early grace, her early vigour shall we find? What will have
become of all the forces that, at seventeen, should still be frail as
promises, tender as the little green shoots of a first spring-day?
But no matter? The impulse is irresistible and nothing can stay me now.
Have no misgivings, Rose: hand in hand we will go through peril and
suspense. Embrace the hope which I offer you: I will bring it to pass.
Let nothing astonish you: all that is happening between us to-day is
natural. You will go hence because it is right that you should go; and
you will go of your own free will. It is not so much my heart which will
bring you comfort; it is rather your heart which will open. I shall find in
you all the good that you will receive from me.
2
I send for the girl without further delay. A fortnight has elapsed since
we first talked together; and I am anxious to know the result.
I look at her. A different woman is before my eyes. Is it a mistake? Is it
an illusion? No, it is all quite simple; and my words had no need to be
forcible or brilliant. The word that shows a glimpse of hope to the
sufferer has its own power.
She says nothing and I dare not question her. The wisdom that has
made her understand how serious the effect of my plans may be must
also make her fear their possible flippancy.
I have brought her into the dining-room. Sitting at the window, with her
hands folded in her lap and her head bowed, she remains there without

moving, heedless of the sun that is scorching her neck. Her wide-eyed
gaze wanders over things which it does not take in; her lips, half-parted
in a smile, betray the indecision of her soul. At last, blushing all over
her face, she stammers out:
"I am frightened. You have awakened my longings, my dreams. I am
frightened. I would rather be as I was before I knew you, when I only
wanted to die. When your message was brought to the farm, I swore
that I would not come; and yet ... here I am!"
I put my arm round her neck:
"It's too late," I whispered, kissing her. "To discuss the idea of rebellion
means to give way to it. Resist no longer, Roseline; let yourself go."
Her incredulous eyes remained fixed on mine; and she said, slowly:
"There is one thing that puzzles me. How am I to express it? I should
like to know why you take so much interest in me: I am neither a friend
nor a relation." And she added, with a knowing air, "You see, what you
are doing doesn't seem quite natural!"
My heart shrank. So this peasant, this rough, simple girl knew the laws
of the world! She knew that, even in the manner of doing good, there
are customs to be followed, "conventions to be observed!" Ah, poor
Rose, though your instinctive reason is like a broad white fabric which
circumstances have