The Boys Life of Mark Twain | Page 8

child says, I hope."
"Oh yes, I know his average. I discount him ninety per cent. The rest is
pure gold."
She declared she was willing to pay somebody to take him off her
hands for a part of each day and try to teach him "manners." A certain
Mrs. E. Horr was selected for the purpose.
Mrs. Horr's school on Main Street, Hannibal, was of the old-fashioned
kind. There were pupils of all ages, and everything was taught up to the
third reader and long division. Pupils who cared to go beyond those
studies went to a Mr. Cross, on the hill, facing what is now the public
square. Mrs. Horr received twenty-five cents a week for each pupil, and
the rules of conduct were read daily. After the rules came the A-B-C
class, whose recitation was a hand-to-hand struggle, requiring no study-
time.

The rules of conduct that first day interested Little Sam. He wondered
how nearly he could come to breaking them and escape. He
experimented during the forenoon, and received a warning. Another
experiment would mean correction. He did not expect to be caught
again; but when he least expected it he was startled by a command to
go out and bring a stick for his own punishment.
This was rather dazing. It was sudden, and, then, he did not know much
about choosing sticks for such a purpose. Jane Clemens had commonly
used her hand. A second command was needed to start him in the right
direction, and he was still dazed when he got outside. He had the
forests of Missouri to select from, but choice was not easy. Everything
looked too big and competent. Even the smallest switch had a wiry
look. Across the way was a cooper's shop. There were shavings outside,
and one had blown across just in front of him. He picked it up, and,
gravely entering the room, handed it to Mrs. Horr. So far as known, it is
the first example of that humor which would one day make Little Sam
famous before all the world.
It was a failure in this instance. Mrs. Horr's comic side may have
prompted forgiveness, but discipline must be maintained.
"Samuel Langhorne Clemens," she said (he had never heard it all
strung together in that ominous way), "I am ashamed of you! Jimmy
Dunlap, go and bring a switch for Sammy." And the switch that Jimmy
Dunlap brought was of a kind to give Little Sam a permanent distaste
for school. He told his mother at noon that he did not care for education;
that he did not wish to be a great man; that his desire was to be an
Indian and scalp such persons as Mrs. Horr. In her heart Jane Clemens
was sorry for him, but she openly said she was glad there was
somebody who could take him in hand.
Little Sam went back to school, but he never learned to like it. A school
was ruled with a rod in those days, and of the smaller boys Little Sam's
back was sore as often as the next. When the days of early summer
came again, when from his desk he could see the sunshine lighting the
soft green of Holliday's Hill, with the glint of the river and the purple
distance beyond, it seemed to him that to be shut up with a Webster

spelling-book and a cross teacher was more than human nature could
bear. There still exists a yellow slip of paper upon which, in neat, old-
fashioned penmanship is written:
MISS PAMELA CLEMENS
Has won the love of her teacher and schoolmates by her amiable
deportment and faithful application to her various studies.
E. HORR, Teacher.
Thus we learn that Little Sam's sister, eight years older than himself,
attended the same school, and that she was a good pupil. If any such
reward of merit was ever conferred on Little Sam, it has failed to come
to light. If he won the love of his teacher and playmates, it was
probably for other reasons.
Yet he must have learned somehow, for he could read, presently, and
was a good speller for his age.

IV.
EDUCATION OUT OF SCHOOL
On their arrival in Hannibal, the Clemens family had moved into a part
of what was then the Pavey Hotel. They could not have remained there
long, for they moved twice within the next few years, and again in
1844 into a new house which Judge Clemens, as he was generally
called, had built on Hill Street--a house still standing, and known
to-day as the Mark Twain home.
John Clemens had met varying fortunes in Hannibal. Neither commerce
nor the practice of law had paid. The office of justice of the peace, to
which he was elected,