The Boy with the U.S. Census | Page 2

honor in the
regiment that Hamilton's father commanded during the Civil War, and
the two men ever since had been friends.
"I don't quite see why any one sh'd elect to take a hand in any such
doin's unless he has to," the Kentuckian resumed, after a pause; "that
census business seems kind of inquisitive some way to me."
"But it seems to me that it's the right kind of 'inquisitive.'"
"I reckon I hadn't thought o' there bein' more'n one kind of
inquisitiveness," the mountaineer said, with a smile, "but if you say so,
I s'pose it's all right."
"But don't you think the questions are easy enough?" asked the boy.
"They may be easy, but thar's no denyin' that some of 'em are mighty
unpleasant to answer."
"But if they are necessary?"
"Thar's a-plenty o' folks hyeh in the mount'ns that yo' c'n never make

see how knowin' their private affairs does the gov'nment any good."
"But you don't feel that way, Uncle Eli, surely?"
"Wa'al, I don' know. Settin' here talkin' about it, I know it's all right, an'
I'm willin' to tell all I know. But I jes' feel as sure as c'n be, that befo'
the census-taker gets through hyeh, I'm goin' to be heated up clar
through."
"But why?" queried the lad again. "The questions are plain enough, and
there was practically no trouble at the last census. I think it's a fine
thing, and every one ought to be glad to help. And it's so important,
too!"
"Important!" protested the old man. "Did yo' ever see any one that ever
sat down an' read those tables an' tables o' figures?"
"Not for fun, perhaps," the boy admitted. "But it isn't done for the sake
of getting interesting reading matter; it's because those figures really
are necessary. Why there's hardly a thing that you can think of that the
census isn't at the back of."
"I don't see how that is. They don't ask about a man's politics, I notice,"
the mountaineer remarked.
"No," answered Hamilton promptly, "but the number of members a
State sends to Congress depends on the figures of the population that
the census-takers gather, and the only claim that any legislator has to
his seat is based on their information."
"I suppose you'd say the same about schools, too."
"Of course," the boy answered.
"But I hear the Census Bureau this year wants all sorts of information
about the crops an' the number of pigs kept an' all that sort o' stuff."
"Don't you think the food of all the people of the United States is
important enough, Uncle Eli? And then the railroads, too,--they depend

on the figures about the crops and all sorts of other things which go as
freight."
"You seem to know a lot about it," the mountaineer said, looking
thoughtfully at the boy.
"I ought to," Hamilton said, "because I'm going to be an assistant
special agent in the Census of Manufactures right away. I applied last
October and took the exam a couple of weeks before coming here on
this visit."
"What makes yo' so cocksure that you've passed the examination?" he
was asked.
"I didn't find it so hard," Hamilton replied, "figures have always been
easy for me, and when my brother was studying for that chartered
accountant business I learned a lot from him."
"Your dad, he was a great hand fo' figures, so I s'pose yo' come by it
naturally enough. An' you're jes' sure you've passed?"
"I haven't heard one way or the other," said Hamilton, "but I'm pretty
sure."
"Wa'al, thar's no use sayin' anythin' if you're all sot, but it's the business
of the gov'nment, an' I'd let them do it."
"But I'm hoping to work right with the government all the time, Uncle
Eli," the boy explained "either with the Census Bureau or the Bureau of
Statistics or some work like that. And anyway, if it's the government's
business, I'm an American and it's my business."
"Yo' have the right spirit, boy," the old man said, "an' I like to see it,
but you're huntin' trouble sure's you're born. S'posin' yo' asked the
questions of some ol' sorehead that wouldn' answer?"
"He'd have to answer," replied Hamilton stoutly, "there's a law to make
him."

"I don't believe that law's used much," hazarded the old man.
"It isn't," Hamilton found himself forced to admit. "I believe there were
not very many arrests all over the country last census. But the law's
there, just the same."
"It wouldn' be a law on the Ridge," the mountaineer said, "an' I don'
believe it would do yo' any good anywhar else. On the mount'ns, I
know, courtesy is a whole lot bigger word than constitution. Up hyeh,
we follow the law when we're made