The Bores | Page 5

Grots profound I visit you, Gallia's great Monarch in these Scenes to view; Shall Earth's wide Circuit, or the wider Seas, Produce some Novel Sight your Prince to please; Speak He, or wish: to him nought can be hard, Whom as a living Miracle you all regard. Fertile in Miracles, his Reign demands Wonders at universal Nature's Hands, Sage, young, victorious, valiant, and august, Mild as severe, and powerful as he's just, His Passions, and his Foes alike to foil, And noblest Pleasures join to noblest Toil; His righteous Projects ne'er to misapply, Hear and see all, and act incessantly: He who can this, can all; he needs but dare, And Heaven in nothing will refuse his Prayer. Let Lewis but command, these Bounds shall move, And trees grow vocal as Dodona's Grove. Ye Nymphs and Demi-Gods, whose Presence fills Their sacred Trunks, come forth; so Lewis wills; To please him be our task; I lead the way, Quit now your ancient Forms but for a Day, With borrow'd Shape cheat the Spectator's Eye, And to Theatric Art yourselves apply.
(_Several Dryads, accompanied by Fawns and Satyrs, come forth out of the Trees and Termini_.)
Hence Royal Cares, hence anxious Application, (His fav'rite Work) to bless a happy Nation: His lofty Mind permit him to unbend, And to a short Diversion condescend; The Morn shall see him with redoubled Force, Resume the Burthen and pursue his Course, Give Force to Laws, his Royal Bounties share, Wisely prevent our Wishes with his Care. Contending Lands to Union firm dispose, And lose his own to fix the World's Repose. But now, let all conspire to ease the Pressure Of Royalty, by elegance of Pleasure. Impertinents, avant; nor come in sight, Unless to give him more supreme Delight.
[Footnote: The Naiad was represented by Madeleine Beéjart, even then good-looking, though she was more than forty years old. The verses are taken from the eighth volume of the "Select Comedies of M. de Molière in French and English, London, 1732," and as fulsome as they well can be. The English translation, which is not mine, fairly represents the official nonsense of the original.]
(_The Naiad brings with her, for the Play, one part of the Persons she has summoned to appear, whilst the rest begin a Dance to the sound of Hautboys, accompanied by Violins_.)

DRAMATIS PERSON?.
éRASTE, in love with Orphise.
DAMIS, guardian to Orphise.
ALCIDOR, a bore.
LISANDRE, a bore.
ALCANDRE, a bore.
ALCIPPE, a bore.
DORANTE, a bore.
CARITIDèS, a bore.
ORMIN, a bore.
FILINTE, a bore.
LA MONTAGNE, _servant to éraste_.
L'éPINE, servant to Damis.
LA RIVIERE and TWO COMRADES.
ORPHISE, _in love with éraste_.
ORANTE, a female bore.
CLIMèNE, a female bore.
Scene.--PARIS.
* * * * *
[Footnote: Molière himself played probably the parts of Lisandre the dancer, Alcandre the duellist, or Alcippe the gambler, and perhaps all three, with some slight changes in the dress. He also acted Caritidès the pedant, and Dorante the lover of the chase. In the inventory taken after Molière's death we find: "A dress for the Marquis of the _Facheux_, consisting in a pair of breeches very large, and fastened below with ribbands, (_rhingrave_), made of common silk, blue and gold-coloured stripes, with plenty of flesh-coloured and yellow trimmings, with Colbertine, a doublet of Colbertine cloth trimmed with flame-coloured ribbands, silk stockings and garters." The dress of Caritidès in the same play, "cloak and breeches of cloth, with picked trimmings, and a slashed doublet." Dorante's dress was probably "a hunting-coat, sword and belt; the above-mentioned hunting-coat ornamented with fine silver lace, also a pair of stag-hunting gloves, and a pair of long stockings (_bas a botter_) of yellow cloth." The original inventory, given by M. Soulié, has _toile Colbertine_, for "Colbertine cloth." I found this word in Webster's Dictionary described from _The Fop's Dictionary of 1690_ as "A lace resembling net-work, the fabric of Mons. Colbert, superintendent of the French king's manufactures." In Congreve's _The Way of the World_, Lady Wishfort, quarrelling with her woman Foible (Act v., Scene i), says to her, among other insults: "Go, hang out an old Frisoneer gorget, with a yard of yellow colberteen again!"]

THE BORES (_LES FáCHEUX._)

ACT I.
SCENE I.--éRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
ER. Good Heavens! under what star am I born, to be perpetually worried by bores? It seems that fate throws them in my way everywhere; each day I discover some new specimen. But there is nothing to equal my bore of to-day. I thought I should never get rid of him; a hundred times I cursed the harmless desire, which seized me at dinner time, to see the play, where, thinking to amuse myself, I unhappily was sorely punished for my sins. I must tell you how it happened, for I cannot yet think about it coolly. I was on the stage,
[Footnote: It was the custom for young men of fashion to seat themselves upon the stage (see Vol. I..