The Booming of Acre Hill | Page 2

partridge on Acre Hill felt like weeping when one
stretch of bush after another was cut ruthlessly away in order that a
pretentious-looking structure, the new home of the Acre Hill Country
Club, might be erected. Lovers sighed when certain noble old oaks
fraught with sentimental associations fell before the un-sentimental
axes of the Improvement Company; and numberless young Waltons
muttered imprecations upon the corporation that filled in with stone and
ashes the dear old pond that once gave forth fish in great abundance,
and through earthen pipes diverted the running brook, that hitherto had
kept it full, into a brand-new sewer.
These lovers of nature could not understand the great need of our
constantly growing population for uncomfortable houses in
inconvenient suburbs, and in their failure to comprehend they became
cavilers. But others--those who admire the genius which enables a man
to make unproductive land productive, who hail as benefactor one who
supplants a profitless oak of a thousand years' standing with a thriving
butcher-shop--these people understood what was being done for
Dumfries Corners, but wondered how the venture was to be made
profitable. There were already more vacant houses in Dumfries Corners
than could be rented, more butcher-shops than could be supported,
more clubs than could be run without a deficit. But the Acre Hill Land
Improvement Company went on, and within three years paradise had
become earth, and the mild-mannered and exceedingly amiable
gentleman who had replaced the homes of the birds with some fifteen
or twenty houses for small families could look about him and see
greater results than ever greeted the eyes of Romulus in the days of the
great Rome Land Improvement Company.

Most wonderful of all, he was still solvent! But a city is not a city, nor,
in its own degree, a suburb a suburb, without inhabitants; and while to
a mind like that back of the Acre Hill Land Improvement Company it is
seemingly a moderately easy task to lay out a suburb in so far as its
exterior appointments are concerned, the rub comes in the getting of
citizens. A Standard Oil magnate can build a city if he is willing to
spend the money, but all the powers of heaven and earth combined
cannot manufacture offhand a citizenship. In an emergency of this
nature most land improvement companies would have issued pretty
little pamphlets, gotten up in exquisite taste, full of beautiful pictures
and bubbling over with enthusiastic text, all based upon possibilities
rather than upon realities. But the Acre Hill Land Improvement
Company was sincere and honest. It believed in advertising what it had;
it believed in dilating somewhat on the possibilities, but it was too
honest to claim for itself virtues it did not possess.
So it tried different methods. The Acre Hill Country Club was the first
of these, and a good idea it was. It was successful from the start,
socially. Great numbers attended the entertainments and dances,
although these were rather poorly conducted. Still, the Country Club
was a grand success. It gave much and received nothing. Dumfries
Corners, reluctant to approve of anything, approved of it.
But no lots were sold! The Acre Hill Land Improvement Company was
willing to make itself popular--very willing. Didn't mind giving
Dumfries Corners people free entertainment, but--lots didn't sell. What
is the use of paying the expenses of a club if lots don't sell? This was a
new problem for the company to consider. There were sixteen houses
ready for occupancy, and consuming interest at a terrible rate, but no
one came to look at them. Acre Hill was a charming spot, no doubt, but
for some unknown reason or other it failed to take hold of the popular
fancy, despite the attractions of the club.
Suddenly the head of the institution had an idea. In the great metropolis
there was an impecunious and popular member of Uppertendom whose
name had been appearing in the society journals with great frequency
for years. He formerly had been prosperous, but now he was down

financially; yet society still received and liked him, for he had many
good points and was fundamentally what the world calls a good fellow.
"Why not send for Jocular Jimson Jones?" suggested the head and
leading spirit of the Improvement Company. "We can offer him one of
our cottages, and pay his debts if he has any, if he will live here and
give us the benefit of his social prestige."
The suggestion was received with enthusiasm. Mr. Jones was
summoned, came and inspected the cottage, and declined. He really
couldn't, you know. Of course he was down, but not quite down to the
level of a cottage of that particular kind. He still had plenty of friends
whom he could visit and who would be charmed