The Book of Three Hundred Anecdotes | Page 8

in your debt. I

owe you a hundred pounds, and I am come to pay you." Thomson, with
a disconsolate air, replied, that, as he was a gentleman whom he had
never offended, he wondered he should seek an opportunity to jest with
his misfortunes. "No," said Quin, raising his voice, "I say I owe you a
hundred pounds, and there it is," (laying a bank note of that value
before him). Thomson, astonished, begged he would explain himself.
"Why," says Quin, "I'll tell you; soon after I had read your Seasons, I
took it into my head, that as I had something to leave behind me when I
died, I would make my will; and among the rest of my legatees I set
down the author of the Seasons for a hundred pounds; and, this day
hearing that you were in this house, I thought I might as well have the
pleasure of paying the money myself, as order my executors to pay it,
when, perhaps, you might have less need of it; and this, Mr. Thomson,
is my business." Of course Thomson left the house in company with his
benefactor.
Denon and De Foe.--M. de Talleyrand, having one day invited M.
Denon, the celebrated traveller, to dine with him, told his wife to read
the work of his guest, which she would find in the library, in order that
she might be the better able to converse with him. Madame Talleyrand,
unluckily, got hold, by mistake, of the "Adventures of Robinson
Crusoe," by De Foe, which she ran over in great haste; and, at dinner,
she began to question Denon about his shipwreck, his island, &c., and,
finally, about his man Friday!

BONAPARTE.
Possibility.--Bonaparte was passing along the dreadful road across the
Echelles de Savoie, with his engineer, when he stopped, and pointing to
the mountain, said, "Is it not possible to cut a tunnel through yonder
rock, and to form a more safe and commodious route beneath it?" "It is
_possible_, certainly, sire," replied his scientific companion,
"but"--"No buts;--let it be done, and immediately," replied the Emperor.
Sir and Sire.--A petition from the English _deténus_ at Valenciennes
was left for signature at the house of the colonel of gendarmerie,
addressed in a fulsome manner to Bonaparte, under his title of Emperor
of the French, and beginning with "Sire." Some unlucky wag took an
opportunity of altering this word into "_Dear Sir_," and nearly caused
the whole party to be imprisoned.

Polignac.--Monsieur le Compte de Polignac had been raised to honour
by Bonaparte; but, from some unaccountable motive, betrayed the trust
his patron reposed in him. As soon as Bonaparte discovered the perfidy,
he ordered Polignac to be put under arrest. Next day he was to have
been tried, and in all probability would have been condemned, as his
guilt was undoubted. In the meantime, Madame Polignac solicited and
obtained an audience of the Emperor. "I am sorry, madam, for your
sake," said he, "that your husband has been implicated in an affair
which is marked throughout with such deep ingratitude." "He may not
have been so guilty as your majesty supposes," said the countess. "Do
you know your husband's signature?" asked the Emperor, as he took a
letter from his pocket and presented it to her. Madame de Polignac
hastily glanced over the letter, recognised the writing, and fainted. As
soon as she recovered, Bonaparte, offering her the letter, said, "Take it;
it is the only legal evidence against your husband: there is a fire beside
you." Madame de P. eagerly seized the important document, and in an
instant committed it to the flames. The life of Polignac was saved: his
honour it was beyond the power even of the generosity of an emperor
to redeem.

CHARITY.
The Price of Bread.--Some years ago, the bakers of Lyons thought they
could prevail on M. Dugas, the provost of the merchants in that city, to
befriend them at the expense of the public. They waited upon him in a
body, and begged leave to raise the price of bread, which could not be
done without the sanction of the chief magistrate. M. Dugas told them
that he would examine their petition, and give them an early answer.
The bakers retired, having first left upon the table a purse of two
hundred louis d'ors. In a few days the bakers called upon the magistrate
for an answer, not in the least doubting but that the money had
effectually pleaded their cause. "Gentlemen," said M. Dugas, "I have
weighed your reasons in the balance of justice, and I find them light. I
do not think that the people ought to suffer under a pretence of the
dearness of corn, which I know to be unfounded; and as to the purse of