The Book of Joyous Children | Page 7

may sorrow and bleed.
Hik-tee-dik! Billy and
Buddy!
O the schoolmarm was cool, and in no wise a fool;
Hik-tee-dik! Billy
and Buddy!
And in ruling her ranks it was her_ rule to _rule;

Hik-tee-dik! Billy and Buddy!
So when these two pupils conspired,
every day,
Some mad piece of mischief, with whoop and hoo-ray,

That hurt yet defied her,--how happy were they!--
Hik-tee-dik! Billy
and Buddy!
At the ring of the bell they 'd rush in with a yell--
Hik-tee-dik! Billy
and Buddy!
And they'd bang the school-door till the plastering fell,
Hik-tee-dik! Billy and Buddy!
They'd clinch as they came, and
pretend not to see
As they knocked her desk over--then, My!_ and
_O-me!
How awfully sorry they'd both seem to be!
Hik-tee-dik!
Billy and Buddy!

[Illustration]
This trick seemed so neat and so safe a conceit,--
Hik-tee-dik! Billy
and Buddy!--
They played it three times--though the third they were
beat; Hik-tee-dik! Billy and Buddy!
For the teacher, she righted her
desk--raised the lid
And folded and packed away each little kid--

Closed the incident so--yes, and locked it, she did--
Hik-tee-dik! Billy
and Buddy!
[Illustration]

A CHRISTMAS MEMORY
Pa he bringed me here to stay
'Til my Ma she's well.--An' nen
He's
go' hitch up, Chris'mus-day,
An' come take me back again
Wher'
my Ma's at! Won't I be
Tickled when he comes fer me!
My Ma an' my A'nty they
'Uz each-uvver's sisters. Pa--
A'nty telled
me, th' other day,--
He comed here an' married Ma....
A'nty said nen,
"Go run play,
I must work now!" ... An' I saw,
When she turn' her
face away,
She 'uz cryin'.--An' nen I
'Tend-like I "run play"--an'
cry.
This-here house o' A'nty's wher'
They 'uz borned--my Ma an' her!--

An' her Ma 'uz my Ma's Ma,
An' her Pa 'uz my Ma's Pa--

[Illustration: "HE'S GO' HITCH UP, CHRIS'MUS-DAY, AN' COME
TAKE ME BACK AGAIN."]

Ain't that funny?--An' they're dead:
An' this-here's "th' ole
Homestead."--
An' my A'nty said, an' cried,
It's mine, too, ef my Ma
died--
Don't know what she mean--'cause my
Ma she's nuvver go' to

die!
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
When Pa bringed me here 't 'uz night--
'Way dark night! An' A'nty
spread
Me a piece--an' light the light
An' say I must go to bed.--
I
cry not to---but Pa said,
"Be good boy now, like you telled
Mommy
'at you're go' to be!"
An', when he 'uz kissin' me
My good night, his
cheeks' all wet
An' taste salty.--An' he held
Wite close to me an'
rocked some
An' langhed-like--'til A'nty come
Git me while he's
rockin' yet.
A'nty he'p me, 'til I be
Purt'-nigh strip-pud--nen hug me
In bofe
arms an' lif' me 'way
Up in her high bed--an' pray
Wiv me,--'bout
my Ma--an' Pa--
An' ole Santy Claus--an' Sleigh--
An' Reindeers an'
little Drum--
Yes, an' Picture-books, "Tom Thumb,"
An' "Three
Bears," an' ole "Fee-Faw"--
Yes, an' "Tweedle-Dee" an' "Dum,"
An' "White Knight" an'
"Squidjicum,"
An' most things you ever saw!--
An' when A'nty kissed me, she
'Uz all cryin' over me!
Don't want Santy Claus--ner things
Any kind he ever brings!--

Don't want A'nty!--Don't want Pa!--
I ist only want my Ma!

"OLD BOB WHITE"
Old Bob White's a funny bird!--
Funniest you ever heard!--
Hear
him whistle,--"Old--Bob--White!"
You can hear him, clean from
where
He's 'way 'crosst the wheat-field there,
Whistlin' like he
didn't care--

"Old-Bob-White!"

[Illustration: WHEN WE DROVE TO HARMONY]

Whistles alluz ist the same--
So's we won't fergit his name!--
Hear
him say it?--"Old--Bob--White!"
There! he's whizzed off down the
lane--
Gone back where his folks is stayin'--
Hear him?--There he
goes again,--
"Old--Bob--White!"
When boys ever tries to git
Clos't to him--how quick he'll quit

Whistlin' his "Old-Bob--White!"
"Whoo-rhoo-rhoo!" he's up an' flew,

Ist a-purt'-nigh skeerin' you
Into fits!--'At's what he'll do.--
"Old-Bob--White!"
Wunst our Hired Man an' me,
When we drove to Harmony,
Saw
one, whistlin' "Old--Bob--White!"
An' we drove wite clos't, an' I

Saw him an' he didn't fly,--
Birds likes horses, an' that's why.
"Old--Bob--White!"
One time, Uncle Sidney says,
Wunst he rob' a Bob White's nes'
Of
the eggs of "Old Bob White";
Nen he hatched 'em wiv a hen
An' her
little chicks, an' nen
They ist all flewed off again!
"Old--Bob--White!"

A SESSION WITH UNCLE SIDNEY
[1869]

I
ONE OF HIS ANIMAL STORIES
Now, Tudens, you sit on this knee--and 'scuse
It having no
side-saddle on;--and, Jeems,
You sit on this--and don't you wobble so

And chug my old shins with your coppertoes;--
And, all the rest of
you, range round someway,--
Ride on the rockers and hang to the
arms
Of our old-time splint-bottom carryall!--
Do anything but
squabble for a place,
Or push or shove or scrouge, or breathe out loud,

Or chew wet, or knead taffy in my beard!--
Do any_thing
almost--act _anyway,--
Only keep still, so I can hear myself
Trying
to tell you "just one story more!"
One winter afternoon my father, with
A whistle to our dog, a shout to
us--
His two boys--six and eight years old we were,--
Started off to
the woods, a half a mile
From home, where he was chopping wood.
We raced,
We slipped and slid; reaching, at last, the north
Side of
Tharp's corn-field.--There we struck what seemed
To be a
coon-track--so we all agreed:
And father, who was not a hunter, to

Our glad surprise, proposed we follow it.
The snow was quite five
inches deep;