The Book of Good Manners | Page 6

HONOR. If the ball is given in honor of some special person, he should be met on his arrival, introduced to the women of the reception committee, escorted to the seat prepared for him, and be looked after the entire evening.
At the end of the ball he should be escorted to his carriage.
DUTIES OF HOST. It is not necessary that a man receive with his wife. He should do all he can to help make the ball successful, especially if his name appears on the invitation. He should assist in finding partners for the women, taking the chaperones into supper, preventing the men from selfishly remaining in the dressing-room, and at the end escorting unattended women to their carriages.
When a formal supper is served, he takes into supper the leading chaperone.
DUTIES OF HOSTESS. As a ball is an entertainment for dancing, it is better to give two small balls where the guests are not crowded than one where they are. It is permissible for a hostess not having sufficient room to hire rooms in some place suitable for the purpose.
In selecting guests, it is wise to have more men present than women.
The hostess should see to it that the rooms are well ventilated and well lighted. An awning and a carpet from the street to the hall door should be provided.
The hostess should stand near the door, prepared to receive the guests as they enter, shaking hands with each one, friend or stranger, and introducing any woman who may receive with her.
A hostess herself should not dance until late in the evening, unless she knows that nearly all her guests have arrived.
A wise hostess will personally see that the women are provided with partners, and that diffident young men are introduced.
The hostess should see that the floor is suitable for dancing, that music is arranged, programs printed, that dressing-rooms, one for the men and one for the women, are arranged for with suitable attendants.
The hostess should stand where the guests can take leave of her, and should shake hands with each when leaving.
HOURS. In the city the hour for a ball to begin is from 10.30 to 11 P.M., but in the country the hour is earlier--from 9 to 9.30.
A public ball begins promptly at the time mentioned in the announcement.
INVITATIONS. These are issued from ten to twenty days before the ball, and should be answered immediately.
For an impromptu dance, they may be issued within a few days of the affair.
These invitations should be engraved. As a general rule, it is not now customary to put on them the letters R. S. V. P.
But when an engraved invitation is posted, two envelopes are used, the inner one bearing the person's name only and unsealed, and the outer bearing both the name and address and sealed.
If the ball has any peculiar feature, as a masquerade or costume, the invitation should have some words to that effect in the lower left hand corner--as, Costume of the XVIIth Century, Bal Masque, or Bal Poudre.
INVITATIONS ASKED FOR STRANGERS. If a hostess receives a request from friends for invitations for friends of theirs, she can properly refuse all such requests, and no friend should feel aggrieved at a refusal for what she has no right to ask and which the hostess is under no obligation to give. If the hostess chooses to grant the request, well and good.
She would naturally do so when the request is for a near relative, or the betrothed of the one making the request.
A man should never ask for an invitation to a ball for another person, except for his fiancee or a near relative.
A woman may ask for an invitation for her fiance, a brother, or a male friend of long standing, or for a visiting friend. She should take care that she does not ask it for some one known to the hostess and whom the latter does not desire to invite. No offense should be felt at a refusal save, possibly, in the case of a brother, sister, or fiance.
INVITATIONS GIVEN BY A NEWCOMER. When a newcomer in a neighborhood desires to give a ball but has no visiting list, it is allowable for her to borrow the visiting list of some friend. The friend, however, arranges that in each envelope is placed a calling-card of her own, so that the invited ones may know that she is acting as sponsor for the newcomer.
INVITATIONS ANSWERED. Every invitation should be answered as soon as possible, and in the third person if the invitation was in the third person. The answer should be sent to the party requesting the pleasure, even if many names are on the invitation.
When a subscriber to a subscription ball invites a friend who is a non-subscriber, she encloses her card in the envelope, and