The Birds | Page 6

you, then?
EUELPIDES I am the Fearling, an African bird.
TROCHILUS You talk nonsense.
EUELPIDES Well, then, just ask it of my feet.[1]
f[1] Fear had had disastrous effects upon Euelpides' internal economy,
and this his feet evidenced.
TROCHILUS And this other one, what bird is it?
PISTHETAERUS I? I am a Cackling,[1] from the land of the
pheasants.
f[1] The same mishap had occurred to Pisthetaerus.
EUELPIDES But you yourself, in the name of the gods! what animal
are you?
TROCHILUS Why, I am a slave-bird.
EUELPIDES Why, have you been conquered by a cock?
TROCHILUS No, but when my master was turned into a peewit, he

begged me to become a bird too, to follow and to serve him.
EUELPIDES Does a bird need a servant, then?
TROCHILUS 'Tis no doubt because he was a man. At times he wants
to eat a dish of loach from Phalerum; I seize my dish and fly to fetch
him some. Again he wants some pea-soup; I seize a ladle and a pot and
run to get it.
EUELPIDES This is, then, truly a running-bird.[1] Come, Trochilus, do
us the kindness to call your master.
f[1] The Greek word for a wren is derived from the same root as 'to
run.'
TROCHILUS Why, he has just fallen asleep after a feed of
myrtle-berries and a few grubs.
EUELPIDES Never mind; wake him up.
TROCHILUS I an certain he will be angry. However, I will wake him
to please you.
PISTHETAERUS You cursed brute! why, I am almost dead with
terror!
EUELPIDES Oh! my god! 'twas sheer fear that made me lose my jay.
PISTHETAERUS Ah! you great coward! were you so frightened that
you let go your jay?
EUELPIDES And did you not lose your crow, when you fell sprawling
on the ground? Pray tell me that.
PISTHETAERUS No, no.
EUELPIDES Where is it, then?
PISTHETAERUS It has flown away.
EUELPIDES Then you did not let it go? Oh! you brave fellow!
EPOPS Open the forest,[1] that I may go out!
f[1] No doubt there was some scenery to represent a forest. Besides,
there is a pun intended. The words answering for 'forests' and 'door' in
Greek only differ slightly in sound.
EUELPIDES By Heracles! what a creature! what plumage! What
means this triple crest?
EPOPS Who wants me?
EUELPIDES The twelve great gods have used you ill, meseems.
EPOPS Are you chaffing me about my feathers? I have been a man,
strangers.
EUELPIDES 'Tis not you we are jeering at.

EPOPS At what, then?
EUELPIDES Why, 'tis your beak that looks so odd to us.
EPOPS This is how Sophocles outrages me in his tragedies. Know, I
once was Tereus.[1]
f[1] Sophocles had written a tragedy about Tereus, in which, no doubt,
the king finally appears as a hoopoe.
EUELPIDES You were Tereus, and what are you now? a bird or a
peacock?[1]
f[1] [O]ne would expect the question to be "bird or man." --Are you a
peacock? The hoopoe resembles the peacock inasmuch as both have
crests.
EPOPS I am a bird.
EUELPIDES Then where are your feathers? For I don't see them.
EPOPS They have fallen off.
EUELPIDES Through illness?
EPOPS No. All birds moult their feathers, you know, every winter, and
others grow in their place. But tell me, who are you?
EUELPIDES We? We are mortals.
EPOPS From what country?
EUELPIDES From the land of the beautiful galleys.[1]
f[1] Athens.
EPOPS Are you dicasts?[1]
f[1] The Athenians were madly addicted to lawsuits. (See 'The Wasps.')
EUELPIDES No, if anything, we are anti-dicasts.
EPOPS Is that kind of seed sown among you?[1]
f[1] As much as to say, 'Then you have such things as anti-dicasts?'
And Euelpides practically replaces, 'Very few.'
EUELPIDES You have to look hard to find even a little in our fields.
EPOPS What brings you here?
EUELPIDES We wish to pay you a visit.
EPOPS What for?
EUELPIDES Because you formerly were a man, like we are, formerly
you had debts, as we have, formerly you did not want to pay them, like
ourselves; furthermore, being turned into a bird, you have when flying
seen all lands and seas. Thus you have all human knowledge as well as
that of birds. And hence we have come to you to beg you to direct us to
some cosy town, in which one can repose as if on thick coverlets.

EPOPS And are you looking for a greater city than Athens?
EUELPIDES No, not a greater, but one more pleasant to dwell in.
EPOPS Then you are looking for an aristocratic country.
EUELPIDES I? Not at all! I hold the son of Scellias in horror.[1]
f[1] His name was Aristocrates; he was a general and commanded a
fleet sent in aid of Corcyra.
EPOPS But, after all, what