The Best of the Worlds Classics, Restricted to Prose | Page 5

trees; so unhappy is the
condition of men in love, to attempt the removing of their passion by
the methods which serve only to imprint it deeper. She has certainly the

finest hand of any woman in the world."
Here followed a profound silence; and I was not displeased to observe
my friend falling so naturally into a discourse, which I had ever before
taken notice he industriously avoided. After a very long pause, he
entered upon an account of this great circumstance in his life, with an
air which I thought raised my idea of him above what I had ever had
before; and gave me the picture of that cheerful mind of his before it
received that stroke which has ever since affected his words and actions.
But he went on as follows:
"I came to my estate in my twenty-second year, and resolved to follow
the steps of the most worthy of my ancestors who have inhabited this
spot of earth before me, in all the methods of hospitality and good
neighborhood, for the sake of my fame; and in country sports and
recreations, for the sake of my health. In my twenty-third year I was
obliged to serve as sheriff of the county; and in my servants, officers,
and whole equipage, indulged the pleasure of a young man (who did
not think ill of his own person) in taking that public occasion of
showing my figure and behavior to advantage. You may easily imagine
to yourself what appearance I made, who am pretty tall, rode well, and
was very well drest, at the head of a whole county, with music before
me, a feather in my hat, and my horse well bitted. I can assure you, I
was not a little pleased with the kind looks and glances I had from all
the balconies and windows as I rode to the hall where the assizes were
held.
"But when I came there, a beautiful creature, in a widow's habit, sat in
court to hear the event of a cause concerning her dower. This
commanding creature (who was born for the destruction of all who
behold her) put on such a resignation in her countenance, and bore the
whispers of all around the court with such a pretty uneasiness, I warrant
you, and then recovered herself from one eye to another, until she was
perfectly confused by meeting something so wistful in all she
encountered, that at last, with a murrain to her, she cast her bewitching
eye upon me. I no sooner met it but I bowed like a great surprized
booby; and knowing her cause was to be the first which came on, I

cried, like a great captivated calf as I was, 'Make way for the
defendant's witnesses.' This sudden partiality made all the county
immediately see the sheriff also was become a slave to the fine widow.
During the time her cause was upon trial, she behaved herself, I warrant
you, with such a deep attention to her business, took opportunities to
have little billets handed to her counsel, then would be in such a pretty
confusion, occasioned, you must know, by acting before so much
company, that not only I, but the whole court, was prejudiced in her
favor; and all that the next heir to her husband had to urge was thought
so groundless and frivolous, that when it came to her counsel to reply,
there was not half so much said as every one besides in the court
thought he could have urged to her advantage.
"You must understand, sir, this perverse woman is one of those
unaccountable creatures that secretly rejoice in the admiration of men,
but indulge themselves in no further consequences. Hence it is that she
has ever had a train of admirers, and she removes from her slaves in
town to those in the country, according to the seasons of the year. She
is a reading lady, and far gone in the pleasures of friendship. She is
always accompanied by a confidant, who is witness to her daily
protestations against our sex, and consequently a bar to her first steps
toward love upon the strength of her own maxims and declarations.
"However, I must needs say this accomplished mistress of mine has
distinguished me above the rest, and has been known to declare Sir
Roger de Coverley was the tamest and most humane of all the brutes in
the country. I was told she said so by one who thought he rallied me;
but upon the strength of this slender encouragement of being thought
least detestable, I made new liveries, new paired my coach horses, sent
them all to town to be bitted, and taught to throw their legs well, and
move all together before I pretended to