The Bab Ballads, vol 3 | Page 7

counterpane.
A medical man to his bedside came.?(I can't remember that doctor's name),?And said, "You'll die in a very short while?If you don't set sail for Madeira's isle."
"Go to Madeira? goodness me!?I haven't the money to pay your fee!"?"Then, PALEY VOLLAIRE," said the leech, "good bye;?I'll come no more, for your're sure to die."
He sighed and he groaned and smote his breast;?"Oh, send," said he, "for FREDERICK WEST,?Ere senses fade or my eyes grow dim:?I've a terrible tale to whisper him!"
Poor was FREDERICK'S lot in life,--?A dustman he with a fair young wife,?A worthy man with a hard-earned store,?A hundred and seventy pounds--or more.
FREDERICK came, and he said, "Maybe?You'll say what you happened to want with me?"?"Wronged boy," said PALEY VOLLAIRE, "I will,?But don't you fidget yourself--sit still."
THE TERRIBLE TALE.
"'Tis now some thirty-seven years ago?Since first began the plot that I'm revealing,?A fine young woman, whom you ought to know,?Lived with her husband down in Drum Lane, Ealing.?Herself by means of mangling reimbursing,?And now and then (at intervals) wet-nursing.
"Two little babes dwelt in their humble cot:?One was her own--the other only lent to her:?HER OWN SHE SLIGHTED. Tempted by a lot?Of gold and silver regularly sent to her,?She ministered unto the little other?In the capacity of foster-mother.
"I WAS HER OWN. Oh! how I lay and sobbed?In my poor cradle--deeply, deeply cursing?The rich man's pampered bantling, who had robbed?My only birthright--an attentive nursing!?Sometimes in hatred of my foster-brother,?I gnashed my gums--which terrified my mother.
"One day--it was quite early in the week--?I IN MY CRADLE HAVING PLACED THE BANTLING--?Crept into his! He had not learnt to speak,?But I could see his face with anger mantling.?It was imprudent--well, disgraceful maybe,?For, oh! I was a bad, blackhearted baby!
"So great a luxury was food, I think?No wickedness but I was game to try for it.?NOW if I wanted anything to drink?At any time, I only had to cry for it!?ONCE, if I dared to weep, the bottle lacking,?My blubbering involved a serious smacking!
"We grew up in the usual way--my friend,?My foster-brother, daily growing thinner,?While gradually I began to mend,?And thrived amazingly on double dinner.?And every one, besides my foster-mother,?Believed that either of us was the other.
"I came into HIS wealth--I bore HIS name,?I bear it still--HIS property I squandered--?I mortgaged everything--and now (oh, shame!)?Into a Somers Town shake-down I've wandered!?I am no PALEY--no, VOLLAIRE--it's true, my boy!?The only rightful PALEY V. is YOU, my boy!
"And all I have is yours--and yours is mine.?I still may place you in your true position:?Give me the pounds you've saved, and I'll resign?My noble name, my rank, and my condition.?So far my wickedness in falsely owning?Your vasty wealth, I am at last atoning!"

FREDERICK he was a simple soul,?He pulled from his pocket a bulky roll,?And gave to PALEY his hard-earned store,?A hundred and seventy pounds or more.
PALEY VOLLAIRE, with many a groan,?Gave FREDERICK all that he called his own,--?Two shirts and a sock, and a vest of jean,?A Wellington boot and a bamboo cane.
And FRED (entitled to all things there)?He took the fever from MR. VOLLAIRE,?Which killed poor FREDERICK WEST. Meanwhile?VOLLAIRE sailed off to Madeira's isle.
Ballad: The Captain And The Mermaids
I sing a legend of the sea,?So hard-a-port upon your lee!?A ship on starboard tack!?She's bound upon a private cruise--?(This is the kind of spice I use?To give a salt-sea smack).
Behold, on every afternoon?(Save in a gale or strong Monsoon)?Great CAPTAIN CAPEL CLEGGS?(Great morally, though rather short)?Sat at an open weather-port?And aired his shapely legs.
And Mermaids hung around in flocks,?On cable chains and distant rocks,?To gaze upon those limbs;?For legs like those, of flesh and bone,?Are things "not generally known"?To any Merman TIMBS.
But Mermen didn't seem to care?Much time (as far as I'm aware)?With CLEGGS'S legs to spend;?Though Mermaids swam around all day?And gazed, exclaiming, "THAT'S the way?A gentleman should end!
"A pair of legs with well-cut knees,?And calves and ankles such as these?Which we in rapture hail,?Are far more eloquent, it's clear?(When clothed in silk and kerseymere),?Than any nasty tail."
And CLEGGS--a worthy kind old boy--?Rejoiced to add to others' joy,?And, when the day was dry,?Because it pleased the lookers-on,?He sat from morn till night--though conStitutionally?shy.
At first the Mermen laughed, "Pooh! pooh!"?But finally they jealous grew,?And sounded loud recalls;?But vainly. So these fishy males?Declared they too would clothe their tails?In silken hose and smalls.
They set to work, these water-men,?And made their nether robes--but when?They drew with dainty touch?The kerseymere upon their tails,?They found it scraped against their scales,?And hurt them very much.
The silk, besides, with which they chose?To deck their tails by way of hose?(They never thought of shoon),?For such a use was much too thin,--?It tore against the caudal fin,?And "went in ladders" soon.
So they designed another plan:?They sent their most seductive man?This note to him to show--?"Our Monarch sends to CAPTAIN CLEGGS?His humble compliments, and begs?He'll join him down