The Bab Ballads, vol 2

The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Bab Ballads, by W. S. Gilbert
(#3 in our series by W. S. Gilbert)
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Title: The Bab Ballads
Author: W. S. Gilbert
Release Date: June, 1997 [EBook #931]
[This file was first posted on
June 2, 1997]
[Most recently updated: May 20, 2003]
Edition: 10
Language: English
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0. START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, THE BAB

BALLADS ***
Transcribed by David Price, email [email protected]

THE BAB BALLADS
Contents:
Captain Reece
The Rival Curates
Only A Dancing Girl
General
John
To A Little Maid--By A Policeman
John And Freddy
Sir
Guy The Crusader
Haunted
The Bishop And The 'Busman
The
Troubadour
Ferdinando And Elvira; Or, The Gentle Pieman

Lorenzo De Lardy
Disillusioned--By An Ex-Enthusiast
Babette's
Love
To My Bride--(Whoever She May Be)
The Folly Of
Brown--By A General Agent
Sir Macklin
The Yarn Of The "Nancy
Bell"
The Bishop Of Rum-Ti-Foo
The Precocious Baby. A Very
True Tale
To Phoebe
Baines Carew, Gentleman
Thomas
Winterbottom Hance
The Reverend Micah Sowls
A Discontented
Sugar Broker
The Pantomime "Super" To His Mask
The Force Of
Argument
The Ghost, The Gallant, The Gael, And The Goblin
The
Phantom Curate. A Fable
The Sensation Captain
Tempora
Mutantur
At A Pantomime. By A Bilious One
King Borria
Bungalee Boo
The Periwinkle Girl
Thomson Green And Harriet
Hale
Bob Polter
The Story Of Prince Agib
Ellen McJones
Aberdeen
Peter The Wag
Ben Allah Achmet;--Or, The Fatal Tum

The Three Kings Of Chickeraboo

Joe Golightly--Or, The First
Lord's Daughter
To The Terrestrial Globe. By A Miserable Wretch

Gentle Alice Brown
Captain Reece
Of all the ships upon the blue,
No ship contained a better crew
Than
that of worthy CAPTAIN REECE,
Commanding of The Mantelpiece.
He was adored by all his men,
For worthy CAPTAIN REECE, R.N.,

Did all that lay within him to
Promote the comfort of his crew.

If ever they were dull or sad,
Their captain danced to them like mad,

Or told, to make the time pass by,
Droll legends of his infancy.
A feather bed had every man,
Warm slippers and hot-water can,

Brown windsor from the captain's store,
A valet, too, to every four.
Did they with thirst in summer burn,
Lo, seltzogenes at every turn,

And on all very sultry days
Cream ices handed round on trays.
Then currant wine and ginger pops
Stood handily on all the "tops;"

And also, with amusement rife,
A "Zoetrope, or Wheel of Life."
New volumes came across the sea
From MISTER MUDIE'S libraree;

The Times and Saturday Review
Beguiled the leisure of the crew.
Kind-hearted CAPTAIN REECE, R.N.,
Was quite devoted to his men;

In point of fact, good CAPTAIN REECE
Beatified The
Mantelpiece.
One summer eve, at half-past ten,
He said (addressing all his men):

"Come, tell me, please, what I can do
To please and gratify my crew.
"By any reasonable plan
I'll make you happy if I can;
My own
convenience count as nil:
It is my duty, and I will."
Then up and answered WILLIAM LEE
(The kindly captain's
coxswain he,
A nervous, shy, low-spoken man),
He cleared his
throat and thus began:
"You have a daughter, CAPTAIN REECE,
Ten female cousins and a
niece,
A Ma, if what I'm told is true,
Six sisters, and an aunt or two.
"Now, somehow, sir, it seems to me,
More friendly-like we all should
be,
If you united of 'em to
Unmarried members of the crew.
"If you'd ameliorate our life,
Let each select from them a wife;
And

as for nervous me, old pal,
Give me your own enchanting gal!"
Good CAPTAIN REECE, that worthy man,
Debated on his
coxswain's plan:
"I quite agree," he said, "O BILL;
It is my duty,
and I will.
"My daughter, that enchanting gurl,
Has just been promised to an Earl,

And all my other familee
To peers of various degree.
"But what are dukes and viscounts to
The happiness of all my crew?

The word I gave you I'll fulfil;
It is my duty, and I will.
"As you desire it shall befall,
I'll settle thousands on you all,
And I
shall be, despite my hoard,
The only bachelor on board."
The boatswain of The Mantelpiece,
He blushed and spoke to
CAPTAIN REECE:
"I beg your honour's leave," he said;
"If you
would wish to go and wed,
"I have a widowed mother who
Would be the very thing for you--

She long has loved you from afar:
She washes for you, CAPTAIN
R."
The Captain saw the dame that day--
Addressed her in his playful
way--
"And did it want