The Autobiography of a Slander | Page 6

its bowls of roses; and the sound of
church bells wafted through the open window on the soft summer
breeze.
Yet all the time I lingered there unseen, carrying with me all sorts of
dread possibilities. I had been introduced into the world, and even if
Mrs. O'Reilly had been willing to admit to herself that she had broken
the ninth commandment, and had earnestly desired to recall me, all her
sighs and tears and regrets would have availed nothing; so true is the
saying, "Of thy word unspoken thou art master; thy spoken word is
master of thee."
"Thank you." "Thank you." "How I envy your power of playing!"
The two ladies seemed to vie with each other in making pretty speeches,
and Zaluski, who loved music and loved giving pleasure, looked really
pleased. I am sure it did not enter his head that his two companions
were not sincere, or that they did not wish him well. He was thinking to
himself how simple and kindly the Muddleton people were, and how
great a contrast this life was to his life in London; and he was saying to
himself that he had been a fool to live a lonely bachelor life till he was
nearly thirty, and yet congratulating himself that he had done so since
Gertrude was but nineteen. Undoubtedly, he was seeing blissful visions
of the future all the time that he replied to the pretty speeches, and
shook hands with Lena Houghton, and opened the drawing-room door
for her, and took out his watch to assure her that she had plenty of time
and need not hurry to church.
Poor Zaluski! He looked so kindly and pleasant. Though I was only a
slander, and might have been supposed to have no heart at all, I did feel
sorry for him when I thought of the future and of the grief and pain
which would persistently dog his steps.

MY SECOND STAGE

Bear not false witness, slander not, nor lie; Truth is the speech of
inward purity. THE LIGHT OF ASIA.
In my first stage the reader will perceive that I was a comparatively
weak and harmless little slander, with merely that taint of original sin
which was to be expected in one of such parentage. But I developed
with great rapidity; and I believe men of science will tell you that this is
always the case with low organisms. That, for instance, while it takes
years to develop the man from the baby, and months to develop the dog
from the puppy, the baby monad will grow to maturity in an hour.
Personally I should have preferred to linger in Mrs. O'Reilly's pleasant
drawing-room, for, as I said before, my victim interested me, and I
wanted to observe him more closely and hear what he talked about. But
I received orders to attend evensong at the parish church, and to haunt
the mind of Lena Houghton.
As we passed down the High Street the bells rang out loud and clear,
and they made me feel the same slight sense of discomfort that I had
felt when I looked at Zaluski; however, I went on, and soon entered the
church. It was a fine old Gothic building, and the afternoon sunshine
seemed to flood the whole place; even the white stones in the aisle were
glorified here and there with gorgeous patches of colour from the
stained glass windows. But the strange stillness and quiet oppressed me,
I did not feel nearly so much at home as in Mrs. O'Reilly's
drawing-room--to use a terrestrial simile, I felt like a fish out of water.
For some time, too, I could find no entrance at all into the mind of Lena
Houghton. Try as I would, I could not distract her attention or gain the
slightest hold upon her, and I really believe I should have been
altogether baffled, had not the rector unconsciously come to my aid.
All through the prayers and psalms I had fought a desperate fight
without gaining a single inch. Then the rector walked over to the
lectern, and the moment he opened his mouth I knew that my time had
come, and that there was a very fair chance of victory before me.
Whether this clergyman had a toothache, or a headache, or a heavy load
on his mind, I cannot say, but his reading was more lugubrious than the

wind in an equinoctial gale. I have since observed that he was only a
degree worse than many other clerical readers, and that a strange and
delightfully mistaken notion seems prevalent that the Bible must be
read in a dreary and unnatural tone of voice, or with a sort of mournful
monotony; it is intended as a sort of reverence, but I suspect