The Autobiography of Charles Darwin | Page 5

day school, or before that time, I
acted cruelly, for I beat a puppy, I believe, simply from enjoying the
sense of power; but the beating could not have been severe, for the
puppy did not howl, of which I feel sure, as the spot was near the house.
This act lay heavily on my conscience, as is shown by my remembering
the exact spot where the crime was committed. It probably lay all the
heavier from my love of dogs being then, and for a long time
afterwards, a passion. Dogs seemed to know this, for I was an adept in
robbing their love from their masters.
I remember clearly only one other incident during this year whilst at Mr.
Case's daily school,--namely, the burial of a dragoon soldier; and it is
surprising how clearly I can still see the horse with the man's empty
boots and carbine suspended to the saddle, and the firing over the grave.
This scene deeply stirred whatever poetic fancy there was in me.
In the summer of 1818 I went to Dr. Butler's great school in
Shrewsbury, and remained there for seven years still Midsummer 1825,
when I was sixteen years old. I boarded at this school, so that I had the
great advantage of living the life of a true schoolboy; but as the
distance was hardly more than a mile to my home, I very often ran
there in the longer intervals between the callings over and before
locking up at night. This, I think, was in many ways advantageous to
me by keeping up home affections and interests. I remember in the
early part of my school life that I often had to run very quickly to be in
time, and from being a fleet runner was generally successful; but when
in doubt I prayed earnestly to God to help me, and I well remember that
I attributed my success to the prayers and not to my quick running, and
marvelled how generally I was aided.
I have heard my father and elder sister say that I had, as a very young
boy, a strong taste for long solitary walks; but what I thought about I
know not. I often became quite absorbed, and once, whilst returning to

school on the summit of the old fortifications round Shrewsbury, which
had been converted into a public foot-path with no parapet on one side,
I walked off and fell to the ground, but the height was only seven or
eight feet. Nevertheless the number of thoughts which passed through
my mind during this very short, but sudden and wholly unexpected fall,
was astonishing, and seem hardly compatible with what physiologists
have, I believe, proved about each thought requiring quite an
appreciable amount of time.
Nothing could have been worse for the development of my mind than
Dr. Butler's school, as it was strictly classical, nothing else being taught,
except a little ancient geography and history. The school as a means of
education to me was simply a blank. During my whole life I have been
singularly incapable of mastering any language. Especial attention was
paid to verse-making, and this I could never do well. I had many
friends, and got together a good collection of old verses, which by
patching together, sometimes aided by other boys, I could work into
any subject. Much attention was paid to learning by heart the lessons of
the previous day; this I could effect with great facility, learning forty or
fifty lines of Virgil or Homer, whilst I was in morning chapel; but this
exercise was utterly useless, for every verse was forgotten in forty-eight
hours. I was not idle, and with the exception of versification, generally
worked conscientiously at my classics, not using cribs. The sole
pleasure I ever received from such studies, was from some of the odes
of Horace, which I admired greatly.
When I left the school I was for my age neither high nor low in it; and I
believe that I was considered by all my masters and by my father as a
very ordinary boy, rather below the common standard in intellect. To
my deep mortification my father once said to me, "You care for nothing
but shooting, dogs, and rat- catching, and you will be a disgrace to
yourself and all your family." But my father, who was the kindest man
I ever knew and whose memory I love with all my heart, must have
been angry and somewhat unjust when he used such words.
Looking back as well as I can at my character during my school life,
the only qualities which at this period promised well for the future,
were, that I had strong and diversified tastes, much zeal for whatever
interested me, and a keen pleasure