The Attache | Page 9

pictur, and the way he
stared was a caution to an owl.
"Well, we sot and sot till I was tired, so thinks I, 'what's next?' for it's
rainin' agin as hard as ever.' So I took a turn in the study to sarch for a
book, but there was nothin' there, but a Guide to the Sessions, Burn's
Justice, and a book of London club rules, and two or three novels. He
said he got books from the sarkilatin' library.
"'Lunch is ready.'
"'What, eatin' agin? My goody!' thinks I, 'if you are so fond of it, why
the plague don't you begin airly? If you'd a had it at five o'clock this
morning, I'd a done justice to it; now I couldn't touch it if I was to die.'
"There it was, though. Help yourself, and no thanks, for there is no
sarvants agin. The rule here is, no talk no sarvants--and when it's all
talk, it's all sarvants.
"Thinks I to myself, 'now, what shall I do till dinner-time, for it rains so
there is no stirrin' out?--Waiter, where is eldest son?--he and I will have
a game of billiards, I guess.'
"'He is laying down, sir.'
"'Shows his sense,' sais I, 'I see, he is not the fool I took him to be. If I
could sleep in the day, I'de turn in too. Where is second son?'
"'Left this mornin' in the close carriage, sir.'

"'Oh cuss him, it was him then was it?'
"'What, Sir?'
"'That woke them confounded rooks up, out o' their fust nap, and kick't
up such a bobbery. Where is the Parson?'
"'Which one, Sir?'
"'The one that's so fond of fishing.'
"'Ain't up yet, Sir.'
"'Well, the old boy, that wore breeches.'
"Out on a sick visit to one of the cottages, Sir.'
"When he comes in, send him to me, I'm shockin' sick.'
"With that I goes to look arter the two pretty galls in the drawin' room;
and there was the ladies a chatterin' away like any thing. The moment I
came in it was as dumb as a quaker's meetin'. They all hauled up at
once, like a stage-coach to an inn-door, from a hand-gallop to a stock
still stand. I seed men warn't wanted there, it warn't the custom so airly,
so I polled out o' that creek, starn first. They don't like men in the
mornin', in England, do the ladies; they think 'em in the way.
"'What on airth, shall I do?' says I, 'it's nothin' but rain, rain, rain--here
in this awful dismal country. Nobody smokes, nobody talks, nobody
plays cards, nobody fires at a mark, and nobody trades; only let me get
thro' this juicy day, and I am done: let me get out of this scrape, and if I
am caught agin, I'll give you leave to tell me of it, in meetin'. It tante
pretty, I do suppose to be a jawin' with the butler, but I'll make an
excuse for a talk, for talk comes kinder nateral to me, like suction to a
snipe.'
"'Waiter?'
"'Sir.'

"'Galls don't like to be tree'd here of a mornin' do they?'
"'Sir.'
"'It's usual for the ladies,' sais I, 'to be together in the airly part of the
forenoon here, ain't it, afore the gentlemen jine them?'
'"Yes, Sir.'
"'It puts me in mind,' sais I, 'of the old seals down to Sable Island--you
know where Sable Isle is, don't you?'
"'Yes, Sir, it's in the cathedral down here.'
"'No, no, not that, it's an island on the coast of Nova Scotia. You know
where that is sartainly.'
"'I never heard of it, Sir.'
"'Well, Lord love you! you know what an old seal is?'
"'Oh, yes, sir, I'll get you my master's in a moment.'
And off he sot full chisel.
"Cus him! he is as stupid as a rook, that crittur, it's no use to tell him a
story, and now I think of it, I will go and smoke them black imps of
darkness,--the rooks.'
"So I goes up stairs, as slowly as I cleverly could, jist liftin' one foot
arter another as if it had a fifty-six tied to it, on pupus to spend time; lit
a cigar, opened the window nearest the rooks, and smoked, but oh the
rain killed all the smoke in a minite; it didn't even make one on 'em
sneeze. 'Dull musick this, Sam,' sais I, 'ain't it? Tell you what: I'll put on
my ile-skin, take an umbreller and go and talk to the stable helps, for I
feel as lonely as a catamount, and as dull as a bachelor beaver. So I
trampousses off to the stable, and says I to the head man, 'A smart little
hoss that,' sais I, 'you