The Ant King: A California Fairy Tale | Page 5

silver blouse, a blue miniskirt, a silk scarf and sunglasses. Her sister's kid had a shaved head, powdered white skin, black lipstick and kohl, and was wearing combat boots and a wedding dress adorned with black spiders.
"Stan, this is Corpse, my sister's kid," Monique said.
"Hi," said Stan.
Corpse snarled, like a wolf.
"Great, everybody ready?" said Monique.
* * *
In the car, Stan said, "so Corpse, what's your favorite subject in school?"
"Shop," said Corpse.
"Aha," said Stan. "And what do you want to do when you grow up?"
"Bring about the violent overthrow of the current political order," said Corpse.
"Really? How come?" asked Stan.
Corpse's eyes rolled back into their sockets, exposing the white.
"Takes after me, don't you, Corpse?" said Monique happily. Corpse said nothing.
"But Monique," said Stan. "You're a venture capitalist. You are the current political order."
Monique laughed.
"Corpse," said Stan. "I hope you don't mind me asking this, but ah, are you a boy or a girl?"
"You teleological totalitarian!" Corpse shouted. "Your kind will be first up against the wall when the revolution comes!"
"Now Corpse, be nice," said Monique. But she was grinning.
* * *
Stan stood in line for the water slide, in his bathing suit, behind Corpse, who was still wearing the wedding dress. He had left his sword in the locker room. He felt naked without it.
Corpse sat in the mouth of the water slide tunnel, waiting for the "Go" light to turn green. Stan looked over at the slide to his left. It was a boat ride; in a puffy inflatable boat, four stout, bald men in business suits and purple fedoras sat waiting for the green light. Behind them was a Mexican family in bathing suits, waiting with their boat.
That's funny, Stan thought. He looked closer at the fedora'd men.
In their boat was a glass jar filled with perhaps three hundred yellow gumballs.
The lights turned green; Corpse vanished into the slide and the men in the boat slid into their tunnel. Despite the sign reading One At A Time, Wait For The Green Light, Stan jumped in after Corpse.
Halfway through the twists, turns, splashing chaos of the tunnel, Stan collided with Corpse. "Hey!" Corpse yelled, and was sucked away again.
Stan was dumped out into a great basin. He went under and came up spluttering, chlorine stinging his nose. Standing unsteadily, he looked over at the end of the boat ride. There was no sign of the men with the fedoras: the water there flowed peacefully.
"Hey!" said Corpse, splashing him. "You're not supposed to go two at once!"
"I thought you wanted to overthrow the current political order," said Stan, still watching the boat ride.
"Oh, right, so let's start with the water park," Corpse said.
"Why not?" said Stan. The Mexican family, in their boat, emerged from the boat ride. There was no question: the other boat had vanished while in the tunnel.
Monique was standing next to the basin in her polka-dot bikini, yelling into her pink waterproof cell phone. "No, you idiot, I don't want you profitable! Because we can't find backers for a profitable company, that's why! Well find something to spend it on!" She clicked off the cell phone and shook her head. "Some people are so stuck in the Old Economy."
"Can I borrow that?" Stan asked.
"Okay," Monique said, handing him the phone. "Don't lose it."
"Meet me at the boat ride in five minutes," Stan said, and dialing Vampire, hurried off to get his sword.
* * *
The light turned green, and the boat containing Monique, Corpse, and Stan, holding his magic sword, slid into the tunnel.
"Did you get in?" shouted Stan into the pink cell phone over the roar of rushing water. The boat surged through the great pipe, spun into a whirlpool, then rushed on.
"Yeah," said Vampire, over the cell phone. "It wasn't easy, but I'm in. Actually, after I cracked the session key it wasn't that bad, they've got a continuous telnet session going over a Pac Bell router, so..."
The boat lurched and heaved to the right and a cascade of water flew over them. Stan shouted, "so, did you, you know, open the secret door or whatever?"
"Oh, right," said Vampire, and typed a command to the water park's main computer, setting the "Lair of the Ant King" ride into 'real' mode.
The rubber boat rushed into a curve. In front of them, a section of wall swung away and the boat flew out of the pipe, into darkness and space, falling between black canyon walls.
"This ride is cool!" said Corpse, as they fell.
When the boat hit the great subterranean river below, it bucked, and Monique and Corpse grabbed onto the handles set into its sides. Stan thought about whether to drop the pink cell phone or the magic sword, and while he thought about it, he flew out of the boat and disappeared into the icy rapids.
"Stan!" Monique yelled.
"Bummer,"