The Amazing Marriage | Page 8

Fleetwood had lost none of his
faith in Kirby, and went on booking bets giving him huge odds,
thousands!
He accepted fifty to one when the carriage came to a stop at the steps of
Lord Cressett's mansion; but he was anxious, and well he might be,
seeing Countess Fanny alight and pass up between two lines of
gentlemen all bowing low before her: not a sign of the Old Buccaneer
anywhere to right or left! Heads were on the look out, and vows offered

up for his appearance.
She was at the door and about to enter the house. Then it was; that with
a shout of the name of some dreadful heathen god, Colonel Jack Potts
roared out, 'She's half a foot short o' the mark!'
He was on the pavement, and it seems he measured her as she slipped
by him, and one thing and another caused him to smell a cheat; and
General Abrane, standing beside her near the door, cried: 'Where art
flying now, Jack?' But Jack Potts grew more positive and bellowed,
'Peel her wig! we're done!'
And she did not speak a word, but stood huddled-up and hooded; and
Lord Levellier caught her up by the arm as she was trying a dash into
the hall, and Sir Upton Tomber plucked at her veil and raised it, and
whistled:
'Phew!'--which struck the rabble below with awe of the cunning of the
Old Buccaneer; and there was no need for them to hear General Abrane
say: 'Right! Jack, we've a dead one in hand,' or Jack Potts reply:
'It's ten thousand pounds clean winged away from my pocket, like a
string of wild geese!'
The excitement of the varletry in the square, they say, was fearful to
hear. So the principal noblemen and gentlemen concerned thought it
prudent to hurry the young woman into the house and bar the door; and
there she was very soon stripped of veil and blonde false wig with long
curls, the whole framing of her artificial resemblance to Countess
Fanny, and she proved to be a good-looking foreign maid, a dark one,
powdered, trembling very much, but not so frightened upon hearing
that her penalty for the share she had taken in the horrid imposture
practised upon them was to receive and return a salute from each of the
gentlemen in rotation; which the hussy did with proper submission; and
Jack Potts remarked, that 'it was an honest buss, but dear at ten
thousand!'
When you have been the victim of a deceit, the explanation of the

simplicity of the trick turns all the wonder upon yourself, you know,
and the backers of the Old Buccaneer and the wagerers against him
crowed and groaned in chorus at the maid's narrative of how the
moment Countess Fanny had thrown up the window of her carriage,
she sprang out to a carriage on the off side, containing Kirby, and how
she, this little French jade, sprang in to take her place. One snap of the
fingers and the transformation was accomplished. So for another kiss
all round they let her go free, and she sat at the supper-table prepared
for Countess Fanny and the party by order of Lord Levellier, and
amused the gentlemen with stories of the ladies she had served, English
and foreign. And that is how men are taught to think they know our sex
and may despise it! I could preach them a lesson. Those men might as
well not believe in the steadfastness of the very stars because one or
two are reported lost out of the firmament, and now and then we behold
a whole shower of fragments descending. The truth is, they have taken
a stain from the life they lead, and are troubled puddles, incapable of
clear reflection. To listen to the tattle of a chatting little slut, and
condemn the whole sex upon her testimony, is a nice idea of justice.
Many of the gentlemen present became notorious as woman-scorners,
whether owing to Countess Fanny or other things. Lord Levellier was,
and Lord Fleetwood, the wicked man! And certainly the hearing of
naughty stories of us by the light of a grievous and vexatious instance
of our misconduct must produce an impression. Countess Fanny's
desperate passion for a man of the age of Kirby struck them as out of
nature. They talked of it as if they could have pardoned her a younger
lover.
All that Lord Cressett said, on the announcement of the flight of his
wife, was: 'Ah! Fan! she never would run in my ribbons.'
He positively declined to persue. Lord Levellier would not attempt to
follow her up without him, as it would have cost money, and he wanted
all that he could spare for his telescopes and experiments.