The Albany Depot | Page 3

William Dean Howells
be late; and you mustn't let her slip. And if the Campbells happen to get here before I'm back, don't you give them the least inkling of our having just engaged a cook. I'm going to smuggle her into the house without Amy's knowing it; I wouldn't have her know it for the world. She prides herself on keeping that impudent, spoiled thing of hers, with her two soups; and she would simply never stop crowing if she knew I'd had to change cooks in the middle of the summer."
Roberts, picking up and dropping the multitudinous packages, and finally sitting down with them all in his lap, very red and heated: "I'll be careful, my dear."
Mrs. Roberts: "How flushed you are, bending over! You're so stout now, you ought to bend sidewise; it's perfect folly, your trying to bend straight over; you'll get apoplexy. But now I must run, or I shall never be back in the world. Don't forget to look out for the cook!"
Roberts, at whom she glances with misgiving as she runs out, holding the parcels on his knees with both elbows and one hand, and contriving with the help of his chin to get his magazine open again: "No, no; I won't, my dear." He loses himself in his reading, while people come and go restlessly. A gentleman finally drops into the seat beside him, and contemplates his absorption with friendly amusement.

II
ROBERTS AND WILLIS CAMPBELL Campbell: "Don't mind _me,_ Roberts."
Roberts, looking up: "Heigh? What! Why, Willis! Glad to see you--"
Campbell: "Now that you do see me, yes, I suppose you are. What have you got there that makes you cut all your friends?" He looks at Roberts's open page. "Oh! _Popular Science Monthly._ Isn't Agnes a little afraid of your turning out an agnostic? By-the-way, where is Agnes?"
Roberts: "She left her purse at Stearns's, and she's gone back after it. Where's Amy?"
Campbell: "Wherever she said she wouldn't be at the moment. I expected to find her here with you and Agnes. What time did you say your train started?"
Roberts. "At ten minutes to four. And, by-the-way--I'd almost forgotten it--I must keep an eye out for the cook Agnes has been engaging. She was to meet us here before half-past two, and I shall have to receive her. You mustn't tell Amy; Agnes doesn't want her to know she's been changing cooks; and I've got to be very vigilant not to let her give us the slip, or you won't have any dinner to-night."
Campbell: "Is that so? Well, that interests _me._ Were you expecting to find her in the _Pop. Sci._?"
Roberts: "Oh, I'd only been reading a minute when you came in."
Campbell: "I don't believe you know how long you'd been reading. Very likely your cook's come and gone."
Roberts, with some alarm: "She couldn't. I'd only just opened the book."
Campbell: "I dare say you think so. But you'd better cast your eagle eye over this assemblage now, and see if she isn't here; though probably she's gone. What sort of looking woman is she?"
Roberts, staring at him in consternation: "Bless my soul! I don't know! I never saw her!"
Campbell: "Never saw her?"
Roberts: "No; Agnes engaged her at the intelligence-office, and told her we should meet her here, and she had to go back for her purse, and left me to explain."
Campbell: "Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! How did she expect you to recognize her?"
Roberts: "I--I don't know, I'm sure. She--she was very anxious I shouldn't let her get away."
Campbell, laughing: "You poor old fellow! What are you going to do?"
Roberts: "I'm sure I've no idea. Agnes--"
Campbell: "Agnes ought to have a keeper. You know what I've always thought of your presence of mind, Roberts; but Agnes--I'm really surprised at Agnes. This is too good! I must tell Amy this. She'll never get over this. Ah, ha, ha, ha!"
Roberts: "No, no! You mustn't, Willis. Agnes would be very much provoked with me, if you told Amy she had been engaging a cook. She expects to smuggle her into the house without Amy's knowing."
Campbell: "And she left you to meet her here, and keep her--a cook you'd never set eyes on! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Ah, ha, ha, ha! What's her name?"
Roberts: "Agnes couldn't remember her last name--one never remembers a cook's last name. Her first name is Norah or Bridget."
Campbell: "Maggie, perhaps; they all sound alike. Ah, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! This improves."
Roberts: "Don't, Willis; you'll attract attention. What--what shall I do? If Agnes comes back, and finds I've let the cook get away, she'll be terribly put out."
Campbell: "Perfectly furious, you poor old fellow!--the rage of a disappointed pigeon! I wouldn't be in your shoes for anything. Oh my! I wish Amy was here. Did--did--Agnes"--(he struggles with his laughter, and explodes from time to time
Continue reading on your phone by scaning this QR Code

 / 13
Tip: The current page has been bookmarked automatically. If you wish to continue reading later, just open the Dertz Homepage, and click on the 'continue reading' link at the bottom of the page.