The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle | Page 9

is that any reason why it shouldn't be
told to another person? There's the stranger, belike he has heard it five
hundred times too; han't you, brother? addressing himself to Mr. Pickle;
who replying, with a look expressing curiosity, "No, never;" he thus
went on: "Well, you seem to be an honest, quiet sort of a man; and
therefore you must know, as I said before, I fell in with a French
man-of-war, Cape Finistere bearing about six leagues on the weather
bow, and the chase three leagues to leeward, going before the wind:
whereupon I set my studding sails; and coming up with her, hoisted my
jack and ensign, and poured in a broadside, before you could count
three rattlins in the mizen shrouds; for I always keep a good look-out,
and love to have the first fire."
"That I'll be sworn," said Hatchway: "for the day we made the Triumph
you ordered the men to fire when she was hull-to, by the same token we
below pointed the guns at a flight of gulls; and I won a can of punch
from the gunner by killing the first bird."
Exasperated at this sarcasm, he replied, with great vehemence, "You lie,
lubber! D-- your bones! what business have you to come always

athwart my hawse in this manner? You, Pipes, was upon deck, and can
bear witness whether or not I fired too soon. Speak, you blood of a ----,
and that upon the word of a seaman: how did the chase bear of us when
I gave orders to fire?"
Pipes, who had hitherto sat silent, being thus called upon to give his
evidence, after divers strange gesticulations, opened his mouth like a
gasping cod, and with a cadence like that of the east wind singing
through a cranny, pronounced, "Half a quarter of a league right upon
our lee-beam."
"Nearer, you porpuss-faced swab," cried the commodore, "nearer by
twelve fathom: but, howsomever, that's enough to prove the falsehood
of Hatchway's jaw--and so, brother, d'ye see," turning to Pickle, "I lay
alongside of the Flour de Louse, yard-arm and yard-arm, plying out
great guns and small arms, and heaving in stink-pots, powder-bottles,
and hand-grenades, till our shot was all expended, double-headed,
partridge and grape: then we loaded with iron crows, marlin-spikes, and
old nails; but finding the Frenchman took a good deal of drubbing, and
that he had shot away all our rigging, and killed and wounded a great
number of our men, d'ye see, I resolved to run him on board upon his
quarter, and so ordered our grapplings to be got ready; but monsieur,
perceiving what we were about, filled his topsails and sheered off,
leaving us like a log upon the water, and our scuppers running with
blood."
Mr. Pickle and the landlord paid such extraordinary attention to the
rehearsal of this exploit, that Trunnion was encouraged to entertain
them with more stories of the same nature; after which he observed, by
way of encomium on the government, that all he had gained in the
service was a lame foot and the loss of an eye. The lieutenant, who
could not find in his heart to lose any opportunity of being witty at the
expense of his commander, gave a loose to his satirical talent once
more, saying,--"I have heard as how you came by your lame foot, by
having your upper decks over-stowed with liquor, whereby you became
crank, and rolled, d'ye see, in such a manner, that by a pitch of the ship
your starboard heel was jammed in one of the scuppers; and as for the

matter of your eye, that was knocked out by your own crew when the
Lightning was paid off: there's poor Pipes, who was beaten into all the
colours of the rainbow for taking your part, and giving you time to
sheer off; and I don't find as how you have rewarded him according as
he deserves."
As the commodore could not deny the truth of these anecdotes,
however unseasonably they were introduced, he affected to receive
them with good humour, as jokes of the lieutenant's own inventing; and
replied, "Ay, ay, Jack, everybody knows your tongue is no slander; but,
howsomever, I'll work you to an oil for this, you dog." So saying, he
lifted up one of his crutches, intending to lay it gently across Mr.
Hatchway's pate; but Jack, with great agility, tilted up his wooden leg,
with which he warded off the blow, to the no small admiration of Mr.
Pickle, and utter astonishment of the landlord, who, by the bye, had
expressed the same amazement, at the same feet, at the same hour,
every night, for three months before. Trunnion then, directing his eye to
the boatswain's mate, "You, Pipes," said he, "do you