The Adventures of Mr. Verdant Green | Page 2

IN SUMMER ......92
XI MR. VERDANT GREEN'S SPORTS AND
PASTIMES .............103
XII MR. VERDANT GREEN TERMINATES HIS EXISTENCE AS
AN OXFORD FRESHMAN .....................................114

PART II
I MR. VERDANT GREEN RECOMMENCES HIS EXISTENCE AS

AN OXFORD UNDERGRADUATE .............................123
II MR. VERDANT GREEN DOES AS HE HAS BEEN DONE
BY .......126
III MR. VERDANT GREEN ENDEAVOURS TO KEEP HIS SPIRITS
UP BY POURING SPIRITS DOWN ..........................134
IV MR. VERDANT GREEN DISCOVERS THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN TOWN AND GOWN ........................................145
[6 CONTENTS]
CHAP. PAGE
V MR. VERDANT GREEN IS FAVOURED WITH MR BOUNCER'S
OPINIONS REGARDING AN UNDERGRADUATE'S EPISTOLARY
COMMUNICATIONS TO HIS MATERNAL RELATIVE ..157
VI MR. VERDANT GREEN FEATHERS HIS OARS WITH SKILL
AND DEXTERITY .......................................167
VII MR. VERDANT GREEN PARTAKES OF A DOVE-TART AND
A SPREAD-EAGLE .......................................176
VIII MR. VERDANT GREEN SPENDS A MERRY CHRISTMAS
AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR ....................................184
IX MR. VERDANT GREEN MAKES HIS FIRST APPEARANCE
ON ANY BOARDS ...........................................191
X MR. VERDANT GREEN ENJOYS A REAL CIGAR ...............202
XI MR. VERDANT GREEN GETS THROUGH HIS
SMALLS ...........209
XII MR. VERDANT GREEN AND HIS FRIENDS ENJOY THE
COMMEMORATION .......................................2l8

PART III
I MR. VERDANT GREEN TRAVELS NORTH .....................222
II MR. VERDANT GREEN DELIVERS MISS PATTY
HONEYWOOD FROM THE HORNS OF A
DILEMMA .........................227
III MR. VERDANT GREEN STUDIES YE MANNERS AND
CUSTOMS OF YE NATYVES .......................................238
IV MR. VERDANT GREEN ENDEAVOURS TO SAY SNIP TO
SOME ONE'S SNAP .......................................243
V MR. VERDANT GREEN MEETS WITH THE GREEN-EYED
MONSTER .............................................251
VI MR. VERDANT GREEN JOINS A NORTHUMBERLAND
PIC-NIC .............................................258
VII MR. VERDANT GREEN HAS AN INKLING OF THE
FUTURE ......265
VIII MR. VERDANT GREEN CROSSES THE
RUBICON ...............271
IX MR. VERDANT GREEN ASKS PAPA .........................280
X MR. VERDANT GREEN IS MADE A MASON ...................288
XI MR. VERDANT GREEN BREAKFASTS WITH MR. BOUNCER
AND ENTERS FOR A GRIND .............................297
XII MR. VERDANT GREEN TAKES HIS DEGREE ..................302
XIII MR. VERDANT GREEN IS MARRIED AND DONE

FOR ...........309
[7 ] THE ADVENTURES OF MR. VERDANT GREEN
CHAPTER I
MR. VERDANT GREEN'S RELATIVES AND ANTECEDENTS
IF you will refer to the unpublished volume of "Burke's Landed
Gentry", and turn to letter G, article "GREEN," you will see that the
Verdant Greens are a family of some respectability and of considerable
antiquity. We meet with them as early as 1096, flocking to the
Crusades among the followers of Peter the Hermit, when one of their
name, Greene surnamed the Witless, mortgaged his lands in order to
supply his poorer companions with the sinews of war. The family estate,
however, appears to have been redeemed and greatly increased by his
great-grandson, Hugo de Greene, but was again jeoparded in the year
1456, when Basil Greene, being commissioned by Henry the Sixth to
enrich his sovereign by discovering the philosopher's stone, squandered
the greater part of his fortune in unavailing experiments; while his son,
who was also infected with the spirit of the age, was blown up in his
laboratory when just on the point of discovering the elixir of life. It
seems to have been about this time that the Greenes became connected
by marriage with the equally old family of the Verdants; and, in the
year 1510, we find a Verdant Greene as justice of the peace for the
county of Warwick, presiding at the trial of three decrepid old women,
who, being found guilty of transforming themselves into cats, and in
that shape attending the nightly assemblies of evil spirits, were very
properly pronounced by him to be witches, and were burnt with all due
solemnity.
In tracing the records of the family, we do not find that any of its
members attained to great eminence in the state, either in the counsels
of the senate or the active services of the field; or that they amassed any
unusual amount of wealth or landed property. But we may perhaps
ascribe these circumstances to the fact of finding the Greens, generation
after generation, made the dupes of more astute minds, and when the

hour of
[8 ADVENTURES OF MR. VERDANT GREEN]
danger came, left to manage their own affairs in the best way they
could - a way that commonly ended in their mismanagement and total
confusion. Indeed, the idiosyncrasy of the family appears to have been
so well known, that we continually meet with them performing the
character of catspaw to some monkey who had seen and understood
much more of the world than they had - putting their hands to the fire,
and only finding out their mistake when they had burned their fingers.
In this way the family of the Verdant Greens never got beyond a certain
point either in wealth or station, but were always the same unsuspicious,
credulous, respectable, easy-going people in one century as another,
with the same boundless confidence in their fellow-creatures, and the
same readiness to oblige society by putting