The $$30,000 Bequest | Page 7

Mark Twain

before the first interest falls due."
"Yes--maybe longer."
"Longer, Aleck? Why? Don't they pay half-yearly?"
"THAT kind of an investment--yes; but I sha'n't invest in that way."
"What way, then?"
"For big returns."
"Big. That's good. Go on, Aleck. What is it?"
"Coal. The new mines. Cannel. I mean to put in ten thousand. Ground
floor. When we organize, we'll get three shares for one."
"By George, but it sounds good, Aleck! Then the shares will be worth--
how much? And when?"
"About a year. They'll pay ten per cent. half yearly, and be worth thirty
thousand. I know all about it; the advertisement is in the Cincinnati
paper here."
"Land, thirty thousand for ten--in a year! Let's jam in the whole capital
and pull out ninety! I'll write and subscribe right now-- tomorrow it
maybe too late."
He was flying to the writing-desk, but Aleck stopped him and put him
back in his chair. She said:

"Don't lose your head so. WE mustn't subscribe till we've got the
money; don't you know that?"
Sally's excitement went down a degree or two, but he was not wholly
appeased.
"Why, Aleck, we'll HAVE it, you know--and so soon, too. He's
probably out of his troubles before this; it's a hundred to nothing he's
selecting his brimstone-shovel this very minute. Now, I think--"
Aleck shuddered, and said:
"How CAN you, Sally! Don't talk in that way, it is perfectly
scandalous."
"Oh, well, make it a halo, if you like, I don't care for his outfit, I was
only just talking. Can't you let a person talk?"
"But why should you WANT to talk in that dreadful way? How would
you like to have people talk so about YOU, and you not cold yet?"
"Not likely to be, for ONE while, I reckon, if my last act was giving
away money for the sake of doing somebody a harm with it. But never
mind about Tilbury, Aleck, let's talk about something worldly. It does
seem to me that that mine is the place for the whole thirty. What's the
objection?"
"All the eggs in one basket--that's the objection."
"All right, if you say so. What about the other twenty? What do you
mean to do with that?"
"There is no hurry; I am going to look around before I do anything with
it."
"All right, if your mind's made up," signed Sally. He was deep in
thought awhile, then he said:
"There'll be twenty thousand profit coming from the ten a year from

now. We can spend that, can we, Aleck?"
Aleck shook her head.
"No, dear," she said, "it won't sell high till we've had the first
semi-annual dividend. You can spend part of that."
"Shucks, only THAT--and a whole year to wait! Confound it, I--"
"Oh, do be patient! It might even be declared in three months-- it's
quite within the possibilities."
"Oh, jolly! oh, thanks!" and Sally jumped up and kissed his wife in
gratitude. "It'll be three thousand--three whole thousand! how much of
it can we spend, Aleck? Make it liberal!--do, dear, that's a good
fellow."
Aleck was pleased; so pleased that she yielded to the pressure and
conceded a sum which her judgment told her was a foolish
extravagance-- a thousand dollars. Sally kissed her half a dozen times
and even in that way could not express all his joy and thankfulness.
This new access of gratitude and affection carried Aleck quite beyond
the bounds of prudence, and before she could restrain herself she had
made her darling another grant--a couple of thousand out of the fifty or
sixty which she meant to clear within a year of the twenty which still
remained of the bequest. The happy tears sprang to Sally's eyes, and he
said:
"Oh, I want to hug you!" And he did it. Then he got his notes and sat
down and began to check off, for first purchase, the luxuries which he
should earliest wish to secure.
"Horse--buggy--cutter--lap-robe--patent-leathers--dog--plug-hat--
church-pew--stem-winder--new teeth--SAY, Aleck!"
"Well?"
"Ciphering away, aren't you? That's right. Have you got the twenty
thousand invested yet?"

"No, there's no hurry about that; I must look around first, and think."
"But you are ciphering; what's it about?"
"Why, I have to find work for the thirty thousand that comes out of the
coal, haven't I?"
"Scott, what a head! I never thought of that. How are you getting along?
Where have you arrived?"
"Not very far--two years or three. I've turned it over twice; once in oil
and once in wheat."
"Why, Aleck, it's splendid! How does it aggregate?"
"I think--well, to be on the safe side, about a hundred and eighty
thousand clear, though it will probably be more."
"My! isn't it wonderful? By gracious! luck has come our way at last,
after all the hard sledding,
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