Th Barrel Organ | Page 4

for bein' diversome, an'
jealous, an' bad to plez. Well, as I wur sayin'--they'n had a deeal o'
trouble about music this year or two back, up at th' owd chapel. Th'

singers fell out wi' th' players. They mostly dun do. An' th' players did
everything they could to plague th' singers. They're so like. But yo' may
have a like aim, Nanny, what mak' o' harmony they'd get out o' sich
wark as that. An' then, when Joss o' Piper's geet his wage raise't--five
shillin' a year--Dick o' Liddy's said he'd ha' moor too, or else he'd sing
no moor at that shop. He're noan beawn to be snape't wi' a tootlin'
whipper-snapper like Joss,--a bit of a bow-legged whelp, twenty year
yunger nor his-sel. Then there wur a crack coom i' Billy Tootle bassoon;
an' Billy stuck to't that some o'th lot had done it for spite. An' there
were sich fratchin an' cabals among 'em as never wur known. An' they
natter't, and brawl't, an' back-bote; and played one another o' maks o'
ill-contrive't tricks. Well, yo' may guess, Nanny--
"One Sunday mornin', just afore th' sarvice began, some o' th' singers
slipt a hawp'oth o' grey peighs an' two young rattons into old Thwittler
double-bass; an' as soon as he began a-playin', th' little things squeak't
an' scutter't about terribly i' th' inside, till thrut o' out o' tune. Th' singers
couldn't get forrud for laughin'. One on 'em whisper't to Thwittler, an'
axed him if his fiddle had getten th' bally-warche. But Thwittler never
spoke a word. His senses wur leavin' him very fast. At last, he geet so
freeten't, that he chuck't th' fiddle down, an' darted out o'th chapel,
beawt hat; an' off he ran whoam, in a cowd sweet, wi' his yure stickin'
up like a cushion-full o' stockin'-needles. An' he bowted straight
through th' heawse, an' reel up-stairs to bed, wi' his clooas on, beawt
sayin' a word to chick or chighlt. His wife watched him run through th'
heawse; but he darted forrud, an' took no notice o' nobody. 'What's up
now,' thought Betty; an' hoo ran after him. When hoo geet up-stairs th'
owd lad had retten croppen into bed; an' he wur ill'd up, e'er th' yed. So
Betty turned th' quilt deawn, an' hoo said. 'Whatever's to do witho,
James?' 'Howd te noise!' said Thwittler, pooin' th' clooas o'er his yed
again, 'howd te noise! I'll play no moor at yon shop!' an' th' bed fair
wackert again; he 're i' sich a fluster. 'Mun I make tho a saup o' gruel?'
said Betty. 'Gruel be ----!' said Thwittler, poppin' his yed out o' th'
blankets. 'Didto ever yer ov onybody layin' the devil wi'
meighl-porritch?' An' then he poo'd th' blanket o'er his yed again.
'Where's thi fiddle?' said Betty. But, as soon as Thwittler yerd th' fiddle
name't, he gav a sort of wild skrike, an' crope lower down into bed."
"Well, well," said the old woman, laughing, and laying her knitting

down, "aw never yerd sich a tale i' my life."
"Stop, Nanny," said Skedlock, "yo'st yer it out, now."
"Well, yo seen, this mak o' wark went on fro week to week, till
everybody geet weary on it; an' at last, th' chapel-wardens summon't a
meetin' to see if they couldn't raise a bit o' daycent music, for Sundays,
beawt o' this trouble. An' they talked back an' forrud about it a good
while. Tum o'th Dingle recommended 'em to have a Jew's harp, an'
some triangles. But Bobby Nooker said, 'That's no church music! Did
onybody ever yer "Th' Owd Hundred," played upov a triangle?' Well, at
last they agreed that th' best way would be to have some sort of a
barrel-organ--one o' thoose that they winden up at th' side, an' then they
play'n o' theirsel, beawt ony fingerin' or blowin'. So they ordert one
made, wi' some favour-ite tunes in--'Burton,' and 'Liddy,' an' 'French,'
an' 'Owd York,' an' sich like. Well, it seems that Robin o' Sceawter's, th'
carrier--his feyther went by th' name o' 'Cowd an' Hungry;' he're a
quarryman by trade; a long, hard, brown-looking felley, wi' e'en like
gig-lamps, an' yure as strung as a horse's mane. He looked as if he'd bin
made out o' owd dur-latches, an' reawsty nails. Robin, th' carrier, is his
owdest lad; an' he fawurs a chap at's bin brought up o' yirth-bobs an'
scaplins. Well, it seems that Robin brought this box-organ up fro th'
town in his cart o'th Friday neet; an' as luck would have it, he had to
bring a new weshin'-machine at th' same time, for owd Isaac Buckley,
at th' Hollins Farm. When he geet th' organ in his cart, they towd him to
be